Support for grandparents who have children and grandchildren living abroad

maddyone

My Antipodeans and DH are clearing up the kitchen as I drink 🍷

I’m interested to know why Singapore airport is the best for a stop over. We have flown Emirates before. Dubai was the stop over for us. We are going again next year so might try Singapore.

woodenspoon

I’m interested to know why Singapore airport is the best for a stop over. We have flown Emirates before. Dubai was the stop over for us. We are going again next year so might try Singapore.

It's lovely! There is so much to see and do.

Orchid gardens, a sunflower garden on the roof, a butterfly house, plenty of places to eat, you can have a swim if you have time, free massages, free bus tours of Singapore if yu are there for hours etc

www.klook.com/en-AU/blog/changi-airport-singapore-transit/

Thanks for the thread maddyone. I've just breathed a huge sigh of relief for you! My son is in Canada, so not as far as NZ but absent just the same. We try to go for two weeks every year but the two 'Covid years' were so upsetting. Enjoy your trip and all those lovely hugs! x

Hi , I live in NZ with my only son living in Switzerland.
My parents emigrated to NZ when I was 2 ,so this is home . My Son left 14 years ago to see the world and has remained away apart from a few quick trips back .He is now married and has started a family there. I have a just turned 1 year old grandson . I am very fortunate my daughter in law is wonderful and encourages every possible contact between us all.
A few things I'd like to share
1. My grandmother made many trips to NZ while I was growing up , I have many fond memories of her time with us , I admire her and love her , so believe me your efforts of connecting with your oversea grandchildren will have an impact on them and will create memories.
2. I find that while my son and family are going through happy times I cope reasonably well from being physically apart , it's easy to share joy from a distance.
3. When things are tough for them is when I struggle , not being on hand to offer support . When my son was very unwell for a period of time , My mind managed to imagine scenarios that were worse then reality. When they lost their first baby (preterm birth ) even though I rushed over I couldn't stay long , and grieving from a distance was incredibly difficult.
3.I get jealous of my friends , whose children can just pop in . I get angry with them if they start complaining about things their children/grandchildren, they forget how blessed they are, I never forget how blessed I am to have my loving son and family in my life, maybe this might have something to do with distance???
4. Flights , Singapore is the easiest transit point , last time I took mum back with me ( she had got to stage where travel had become difficult for her ) we stayed in the airport transit hotel , you don't have to get your luggage you stay in transit , it gave her a rest we could have shower and lie down , highly recommend for any1 who finds the 24 hour plus travel hard .
5. I'm flying Qatar airlines through Doha in February, it's a 17 hour flight then 6 hour . Was recommended to me , will see 17hours seems long

Any tips on how to connect with our oversea grandchildren will be greatly appreciated.

Great news maddyone
Bon voyage!!

Singapore is a good airport and more or less halfway which is great, but for me this time I'm going with Qatar Airlines who fly from Edinburgh so I don't have to go to Glasgow (Emirates) or London (Singapore, NZ, ) etc.
On my own I want it to be as easy as possible. Doha is supposed to be a good airport too not that I'm a fan of airports?

Just for info, underneath Singapore airport there is a shopping mall and also there is Jewel Changi airport if you have a bit of stopover time. It’s a good airport, one of the best. They are fussy about documentation and check and re check everything, probably because they are a crossroads and people might try to get in without papers.

Bon voyage from me too maddyone. I wish you a lovely trip.

So glad you got everything sorted out maddyone and are now on your way to spend a wonderful time with your family. All best wishes for 2024

So sorry to read of your sadness marriedalingtime and understand completely about whether to stay a lurker on gransnet or add a comment. I too went out and she'd many tears when my daughter said she was moving abroad. I drove down to asda and sat in car park sobbing my heart out. It was so hard to put a brave front on. It was very difficult to accept she would actually go. She has been back several times but because of our health problems we can't visit her. I am close to the grandchildren we have here and I do feel guilt? That I am not close to the ones abroad. I try to keep contact with them but I don't really know them and that upsets me

Sorry to read your posts marriedalongtime and polomint
The estrangement for no good reason is particularly sad.

We flew Qatar to Australia in 2019 and had a great experience with them. The only problem we had, a late take off from Edinburgh, was not of their making. British Airways could learn a thing or two from them.

SueDonim

We flew Qatar to Australia in 2019 and had a great experience with them. The only problem we had, a late take off from Edinburgh, was not of their making. British Airways could learn a thing or two from them.

They're not always so good, unfortunately.

Thank you for starting this thread. I do not have any living abroad but my daughter who I have been estranged from for 9 years only lives 2 miles away and I didn’t see her two beautiful daughters at all over christmas. Sometimes I wish they lived abroad and I wouldn’t feel so bad. Sorry this has no relevance to the topic. I wish you all well.

That’s disappointing, Callistemon.

One problem with having son or daughter and grandchildren living abroad is that visits in either direction tend to be longer than with more local family which can result in stress to all! If you can break up the visit by taking off somewhere else for a few days in the middle, it can be helpful.

We did this when son was visiting and staying in our house- we left to visit friends and let son and family have their own friends without us being on top of them. We still had plenty of time with grandchildren.

Safe journey and have a great time, make the most of it while there are two of you.
I am trying to work out when I can go and see if I can fit in some sight seeing where we never managed to reach.
I am anticipating on going via Singapore as my older son stopped off there wishing he could stay longer.
As both my son and DL will be working I also hope to visit two second cousins who live in NZ.

Farmor15

One problem with having son or daughter and grandchildren living abroad is that visits in either direction tend to be longer than with more local family which can result in stress to all! If you can break up the visit by taking off somewhere else for a few days in the middle, it can be helpful.

We did this when son was visiting and staying in our house- we left to visit friends and let son and family have their own friends without us being on top of them. We still had plenty of time with grandchildren.

Oh yes- we had my MIL for 10 week stretches and it is a miracle we didn’t murder each other by week 8. The last week was always ok because we were aware time was short and everyone made an effort! My parents were easier because they had each other and could leave us alone for 5 minutes, more independent.

Just to let you all know that we arrived safely yesterday and we are settling in at our air b+b cottage. The owners live onsite and seem nice. We have two sheep in the field next to us for neighbours.
The children were excited and delighted to see us. Grandad was nearly knocked over in the rush, Nana of course received enthusiastic hugs, but second! I wonder if any of you have seen that little video (possibly on Facebook or similar) where Grandma has her arms open wide as she she sees the children at the airport, but the children rush past her to hug Grandad first. It’s quite funny.
I’ll be back later to read and catch up on the thread.

I'm glad you've arrived safe and sound, maddyone without any hitches with the ETA in the end.

I wonder if any of you have seen that little video (possibly on Facebook or similar) where Grandma has her arms open wide as she she sees the children at the airport, but the children rush past her to hug Grandad first. It’s quite funny.

Yes, that's me! Well, not actually me but same scenario. "Grandad!!"

Great news maddyone !

Less than 3 weeks until I go. Getting excited nervous

maddyone - glad you made it to NZ, enjoy your stay.

My daughter and 8 year old granddaughter have been on a visit home since early December and will be returning to NZ in a couple of days. Our NZ girl has two older cousins and four younger ones in the UK and it’s been a joy to see how readily she’s been accepted - the others are quite a close knit little group, but from day one they’ve had great fun being together.

Today our granddaughter became a little upset at the prospect of leaving us and I fully expect floods of tears at the airport, but she’ll have wonderful memories (and oh so many photographs) to look back on. I (bravely) resisted the urge to tell her to nag her parents to return to the UK and instead reassured her that there are many more holiday opportunities ahead. Sadly I don’t think I can make the journey again, so I'm reliant on them continuing to come to visit the UK.

I’m so grateful that a thread like this has been started. Both my daughters live abroad now and GC. My youngest daughter has lived in Canada for 12 years or more. Then after Brexit ( the gift that never stops taking ) my eldest daughter & family left the U.K. for Sweden . It was such a wrench when they went too . Happily they both are well and doing well. But I feel like I don’t have a purpose / just trying to find a way of living for myself not defining myself through them. They have all been home for Christmas so there have been 10 of us around and about the house . They all left yesterday and I feel like the inside of my stomach has been ripped out . Feeling the loss all over again..
Financially I worry how long we can go on visiting them both - and stay relevant to our GC as they grow . So sad today

I also feel like that sometimes. Once a negative thought comes into your head more follow and then it's doom and gloom. It's so very hard to be positive at times. My daughter and her family are happy in Canada and that's what matters. It's the way of life. We bring children up to be independent and then get annoyed when they are so independent that they can leave us! I'm do sorry your 2nd daughter has moved abroad too but at least Sweden is much easier to visit. Do you have family here with you?

Enjoy your time with the family, Maddyone! Xx

It can indeed be depressing to think too far into the future. I try to push those thoughts out of my mind and concentrate on the prospect of the next trip. No point in trying to cross those bridges before we get to them, I tell myself.