Granddaughter doesn’t seem to like me

She probably hated being told off at the table by her father in front of everyone else. I suspect that's all it was about.

but when you really think about it, maybe she doesn't like you.
that's not morally wrong, is it.
we can't all like everyone.
think of some people we have to work beside.
children are less socialised into covering it up, seeing the advantage in doing so, or being aware of others' expectations.
they are more raw, more honest maybe.
i think you have to step back somehow.

Dear OP, it’s natural to worry sometimes. You are aware of the stresses your son and his family have, and you are perhaps reading more into your granddaughters behaviour than you need to, maybe she is reacting to family stresses, or maybe she is becoming an eight year old who is going to retort or answer back?
Try to remain confident. As others have said, small incidents will happen in families, try to brush them off and just continue offering love and support as grandma. One idea, some children like playing games … perhaps you could play some simple board or word games or card games, these can be a fun diversion to do in small groups.

I’ve a step gd who doesn’t care a fig about me I’ve invited her to several events and I’ve never made her any different from other grandchildren she’s 21 now
I personally believe her to be a stuck up little b….. who gets all she wants from her maternal family especially her other gm. Hey ho I’m beginning to feel a little resentment of her but it’s difficult to love someone who doesn’t care

It does happen though doesn’t it that over time some family members are closer to each other and some more distant. That’s not unusual.
Also I think the situation with a 21 yr old is different from an 8 year old. To be honest, most children will be less interested in their grandparents as they grow up won’t they? Teenagers and young adults have their own lives to establish. But Ofc we hope they will retain a fondness for their grandparents

So, thanks for your replies.
I have thought to myself that DGDs would grow away from us as they get older, but yes, perhaps she is going through a phase of not liking me.
I think it’s partly that I am sometimes the catalyst to her being told off, however mildly. She isn’t really used to it as normally she’s pretty well behaved.
Obviously, I will carry on loving her and show it as often as I can.

We have two grandsons, the youngest has never been as close to me as the oldest- refused to sit next to me, never wanted a cuddle or a chat etc. I chose to ignore it and just accept it - now he’s exactly like his older brother wants to sit next to me, wants cuddles etc
Just accept we are all human and go through phases - even children

Midnightblue thats a lot going on in their household and I expect you are worried and upset about your son as well.

I am sure things will settle down with your GD in time. Maybe you being upset makes her feel upset about her father which comes out as rejecting you. Just step back and ignore as much as poss. Give her time and space. Keep cheerful and optimistic yourself.

This post is a few months old but Ill say something anyway. Sorry you feel hurt. My grand daughter is staying with us right now and she rejects me on and off. Its hard. Im hoping youll receive advice from people that are going through something similar. Im giving her space. I try not to show the hurt feelings. Unfortunately my daughter insists that she gives me a hug/kiss goodbye or when she goes to bed. Ill have to remind family not to push it with her. Its sad and humiliating. Probably not great advice but- time, space and try not to react. Good luck.

there should never be any insisting where hugs/kisses are concerned.
i'm surprised your daughter does that.
is she not aware of the importance of bodily autonomy and understanding consent.

My ds dislikes his grandparents has done for years now. To the extent he will try and arrange to go to friends to avoid them and family gatherings.

Basically they just have no shared interests and think what he likes is stupid and then the fact when ever the cousins are there he gets told off for not wanting to play with them and telling them to go away. So now they have a near zero relationship. Sad thing is they see it as his loss rather than trying to think of how to grow a relationship with him before it’s too late and his an adult.

Ok her response was actually really rude to you on Xmas eve. She's not a baby, and I'm sure her parents have taught her good manners. She got told off, didn't like it so took it out on you, cos in her head it's your fault she got in trouble. She's 8, nothing's ever their fault at that age. The rest of it, if she's always been affectionate before could be a way of punishing you for xmas eve, or it could be that she sees your physical problem, sees her dad also has problems, puts the two together and blames you for this. So regardless of her parents having a lot going on they actually need to sit her down, explain what dad's got, what you've got, and how the two things are different, that it's not grandma's fault dad has ms or that she has the problems she has...in the mean time you ignore it, carry on doing all the same things you've always done.

I never ask any of my grandkids for a hug or a kiss. If they want some lovin' they will come looking for it. It is okay to say, "Oh, you don't need to give me a hug or kiss. I love you anyway, Goodbye, I will see you next time"
I have 4 grandkids of my own and 4 step-grandkids. They are all so different. Just be yourself and let her be herself. I would quit trying so hard and see if she come purring around. It is possible that you just aren't her favorite grandparent, and it is possible that she isn't your favorite grandchild, but that is okay. You just need to find some common ground and understanding. You can ask your son, but he may not want to be put in the middle or pass on information gleaned from his daughter. I would suggest asking her if there is anything you can do to make your time together mean more. Is it possible that the other grandma has them separately; therefore, she has cultivated individual relationships with each of them instead of the pair of them?

Message deleted by Gransnet. Here's a link to our Talk guidelines.