So sad for my son / Grandson problems

So sorry to hear this Cabbie. In common with most posters, I'm going to say that 19 is still young and there's plenty of time for your grandson to wake up and smell the roses. Hopefully you can be a go between to keep the lines of communication open and honest between your son and his troubled boy. Good luck.

I am leaning on petra's post, indeed this could be the making of him, a good positive view.

💐

Just don't hive up on him.. he's only 19, plenty of time to turn his life around if he learns from this incident..

Sorry to hear that. As BB says, ask him to do some voluntary work - always looks good on a CV

Oh dear that’s not what you want to hear and obviously the incident was worse than what I was thinking

Now it really depends on his strength of character and adultness (if that’s a word) I m sure he realises the mistakes he’s made so no point in going over that too much but his dad needs to look for what can be recovered and what he can now do to reverse his behaviour So he will need to get the lad to accept his role in losing the job
I m sure he ll either be mortified and upset or angry and be blaming something/ someone else
Concentrate on the future and hopefully he can turn a negative into a positive but it ll take bloody hard work and a humble personality

If he can’t find a job can you encourage him to do some voluntary work it ll looks much better on a CV than an empty space

So very sorry Cabbie. It will seem like the end of the world for him now, but there will be a future for him if he learns from this sad experience. I wish him well.

Cabbie21 I had a friend whose son was just a layabout from about 15 onwards, despite being very able academically, he did badly at A and O levels, wouldn't work, ended up with a drink driving conviction and fathered a child at 20.

At 25 he suddenly grew up. Sorted out his life, went to university and got a good degree and has a good job, He married and has two children, but, his one saving grace, was that he always kept in contact with his daughter and paid maintenance, so that now the daughter is grown up and he is a grandfather, they are close.

He is also a loving carer for his father who is in a care home with dementia. When I visited his father, he and his late wife were very dear friends, they cannot sing his son's praises too high.

So there is hope, please believe me, I have gone from being so glad this man was not my son to be proud to call him my son, if he was.

Sadly Grandson lost his job.

Cabbie this happened in our family a few years ago, the young man concerned did come out the other side and today you wouldn’t recognise the person he was. It took a couple of years, tough love, then a light touch from his family guided him, but he had to want it or it wouldn’t have worked.
It’s a tough time for all, I wish you all strength and patience ahead.

Hopefully it will prove to be the wake-up call he needs and with help and support, he can get his life back on track again. In the meantime, all you can do is be there for your family.

Oh Cabbie I feel for you , it's a double whammy - you are worried about your so and your GS. I do hope your GS is able to sort his apprenticeship out. You must feel so helpless and it is hard because you love him . Our family has a similar situation so I do recognize your distress. What ever happens you must take care of yourself - easier said than done , I know that ! 💐

Thank you all for your supportive comments.

I will hope with you, Cabbie. I hope he will be given a final chance and that he will pull his socks up and complete his degree. Let us know how things go.

Listen Cabbie, many of us have gone through the mill with young family going off the rails and imagining how they might end up. Its heartbreaking and sometimes you cannot see a way out. First step is for your son to meet with college tutors and have a good and honest conversation to see if anything can be done to save the apprenticeship.

Please take heart he may well have learned his lesson and may not be as bad as you worry It may be the wake up call he needs
If it’s poor behaviour and not a bad drug or drink addiction
(just a heavy night) fingers crossed e gets beyond it
Not a lot more I can say really just think positively until you hear something worse
There are many famous well oiled folk who were awful as teenagers or young persons take heart and keep your spirits up

I do not have any advice but really hope it is a phase that will pass as he grows up, I hope you can be there for him as his parents are probably too angry.

He can’t be that bad as up until now he has managed to do an apprenticeship, which in time he could well go back to.

You could look at it another way. It might be the making of him. Sometimes they need a real shock.

So sorry - yes, hope is the only thing that keeps everyone going.. so keep hoping and praying.