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Grandparenting

Age to leave babyhood behind?

(109 Posts)
Kowl Fri 17-May-24 19:38:29

Grandson is 3 years 9 months.
He's still being given a bottle and there's no sign of them starting to get him out of nappies.
Is this normal now?

MissAdventure Sat 18-May-24 20:16:55

My friend fed her children for ages.
It was like a dairy when she came to visit

Her jumper was up and down like a fiddlers elbow, and there would be dribbles of milk around where she had been sitting. .

Grammaretto Sat 18-May-24 20:42:34

Americans go in for fads it's true. We had American visitors to our community cafe about 20 years ago who were into babywearing and had no nappies at all for their newborn.
I've often pondered how long that lasted.
Probably until they had to return to work!

Smileless2012 Sat 18-May-24 21:27:24

You do make me laugh MissA grin.

Harris27 Sat 18-May-24 21:34:06

I’m a nursery teacher and soon my four year olds will be starting to leave in July for school. Good luck to the reception teachers that’s all I say I have some still eating with their fingers some still in nappies and don’t start me on dummies. No it’s nit the norm we have definitely gone backwards lazy parenting!

Callistemon21 Sat 18-May-24 23:33:29

Iam64

NotSpaghetti

I do still have my baby Teddy from my babyhood. Maybe I haven't "left babyhood behind"

I went to a wonderful exhibition at a local art gallery today. Transitional objects, rabbits, teddies and other soft toys featured large. It reminded me of the importance to infants/children of soft toys, especially the favourite attachment soft toy we sleep with.
We do children no good if we deny key stages, or tell them - you’re too old for rabbit/Teddy now

As for toilet training - I was a mid 80’s mum, our advice was leave them to 2 1/2years, be consistent, Pants not nappies and they’ll be dry in a week or so. They were

DS won't take his Teddy with him but won't let me give him away 🐻
Girls don't seem to have such an attachment to teddies (although mine is somewhere in the attic and needs to go to The Repair Shop).

NotSpaghetti Sat 18-May-24 23:44:50

One of my sons took his teddy to university with him. He took more back with him after Christmas! I think the young women liked them. 🙄

NotSpaghetti Sat 18-May-24 23:46:07

I don't think it's fair to compare breastfeeding to fads though Grammaretto.

Grammaretto Sun 19-May-24 00:11:13

Breastfeeding is not a fad. What I consider a fad is extreme bf until long after necessary.

NotSpaghetti Sun 19-May-24 00:15:47

So what is "necessary" ?

NotSpaghetti Sun 19-May-24 00:16:09

And what is "extreme "?

Dickens Sun 19-May-24 00:28:04

NotSpaghetti

One of my sons took his teddy to university with him. He took more back with him after Christmas! I think the young women liked them. 🙄

www.pinterest.co.uk/pin/376683956316971288/

NotSpaghetti Sun 19-May-24 07:18:42

Ha ha Dickens!
Totally forgot about that.

Grammaretto Sun 19-May-24 08:39:58

I would consider a fad as something popular for a while but not necessary for either nutrition or well being.
Is that what you asked NotSpaghetti?

Calipso Sun 19-May-24 08:54:46

Grammaretto

I would consider a fad as something popular for a while but not necessary for either nutrition or well being.
Is that what you asked NotSpaghetti?

If you accept the premise that breastfeeding is about nurturing and comfort rather than simply getting a measured amount of milk into a baby and that wellbeing is always the aim, regardless of the age of the child how can it ever be a 'fad'?

Grammaretto Sun 19-May-24 09:25:18

OK I give up grin
You are determined to make my words sound as though I have something against breastfeeding and nothing could be further from the truth.
I bf my 4 DC.

I wanted to clarify the meaning of the word fad itself.
My understanding is that a fad is a temporary fashion not a longstanding tradition or custom.

The OP is concerned that her DGC is being kept a baby too long for his own good. I agree with her.

luluaugust Sun 19-May-24 09:44:19

Just suppose that today you only had terry towelling nappies and you had to boil them up in a bucket on the stove and wring each one by hand as my mum did nearly 80 years ago, you would be strongly motivated to potty train asap. I had to do the same with DD1 until we could afford a washing machine it does change your mind set. Nearly 4 does seem late to have done nothing in the way of training.

NotSpaghetti Sun 19-May-24 09:59:53

Grammaretto, thanks for coming back re "fad" and breastfeeding.
I suppose I'd never see any aspect of breastfeeding as a "fad" - any more than cuddles or hugs or wiping away a little person's tears.

I think I take issue with your use of the word "necessary" in this context too though. Much of what we do isn't strictly speaking "necessary".
Indeed, lots of people think that breastfeeding isn't "necessary" at all.

Also, what you mean by "extreme"?
Do you mean after 6 weeks, 6 months, after 1, 2, 3, 4, 5 years?

My knowledge of mums in America (all those years ago) was that most breastfed for year - a lot for 2 years or more... but there was lots of positive reinforcement of this as "normal" in a way that I've never seen here.

Callistemon21 Sun 19-May-24 10:25:43

Dickens

NotSpaghetti

One of my sons took his teddy to university with him. He took more back with him after Christmas! I think the young women liked them. 🙄

www.pinterest.co.uk/pin/376683956316971288/

Oh dear, that made me quite emotional, thinking of my poor teddy stuck in a box in the attic, worn out and needing some surgery.

Callistemon21 Sun 19-May-24 10:31:10

I remember the 1976 drought when stand pipes were set in the street and I bought a galvanised bucket to boil the terry nappies.
I had two in nappies, the older one got toilet trained very quickly (day-time at least).

Callistemon21 Sun 19-May-24 10:33:24

NotSpaghetti

*Grammaretto*, thanks for coming back re "fad" and breastfeeding.
I suppose I'd never see any aspect of breastfeeding as a "fad" - any more than cuddles or hugs or wiping away a little person's tears.

I think I take issue with your use of the word "necessary" in this context too though. Much of what we do isn't strictly speaking "necessary".
Indeed, lots of people think that breastfeeding isn't "necessary" at all.

Also, what you mean by "extreme"?
Do you mean after 6 weeks, 6 months, after 1, 2, 3, 4, 5 years?

My knowledge of mums in America (all those years ago) was that most breastfed for year - a lot for 2 years or more... but there was lots of positive reinforcement of this as "normal" in a way that I've never seen here.

I would say beyond age two?
And what happens if you had three under fives?

Grammaretto Sun 19-May-24 11:11:47

I do know someone who breastfed her two children at the same time and they were not twins. I was surprised by the scene but partly because it was in a public place not what I or my babies would have been comfortable with. I always wanted a quiet place as mine were easily distracted.

As to the age of the infant; the clue is the word infant surely? A nearly 4 yr old is no longer a baby and would/should be ready to give up breast or bottle by then.

Each to their own. I refuse to judge though I do observe.

V3ra Sun 19-May-24 12:10:43

I would say beyond age two?
And what happens if you had three under fives?

I had three babies/children in three and a half years, no chance 😬 😂

Jennynanna Thu 16-Jan-25 19:49:41

Does seem to be a thing these days ,he will obviously be out of nappies before school but maybe you could get some terry nappies when he's stays over and wear them during the day ,he may not like feeling wet
Just an idea

Namsnanny Thu 16-Jan-25 20:04:19

Now this thread has come to light again, it would have been nice to get an update about the little boy :-)

A lot of threads just fade away though.

Babs03 Thu 16-Jan-25 20:25:42

Some still breastfeed at 3 years old, and older, a friend of my daughter had a son aged 3 when she had another baby and would breastfeed them both, albeit that the 3 year old only got breastfed at night.
Every parent is different as is every baby, easy to judge but I try not to.