Worried grandmother taking family cruise soon.

Now I am older I like to have my own space. My grandson is 16 and I definitely would not want to have to share with him, and no doubt he wouldn't want to share with me either.

I would pay for my own cabin.

These arrangements are a recipe for disaster

I hope they are changed before the cruise

I don't think that's appropriate at all. I can't imagine any woman (granny or not) wanting to share with a young adult male except maybe in an emergency. His issues don't help the situation but I don't think that's the major problem here.

As suggested above, the grannies should share, daughter with mum and grandson with dad. Who on earth organised this trip?

Can you just take it upon yourself to call the cruise line and upgrade yourself to a private room. Do that first, then let his parents know that you changed your plans as you aren't comfortable sharing a room with a 17 year old boy.

If you can't do it yourself then be bold and let the planner know that you will need different arrangements as sharing with a 17 year old boy isn't going to work.

It may be possible that no one else wanted to share a room with him either, and you got the short straw especially since you seem to be the last to know.

Honestly, sharing a room is so hard. I would never agree to it with anyone other than my husband, and I would go to great lengths not to have to share a room with an anti-social teenage boy.

Best of luck, this one isn't going to be easy. Have you asked him how he feels about it? I would, he might just fight that battle for you. Text him!!!

"This is Grandma. Are you aware that you and I are sharing a room on the cruise. How do you feel about being in a small room with me for days on end?"

I want to add one more thing....

Totally a recipe for disaster! Surely, you can find some cash to upgrade yourself. The parents are most likely using you to save themselves money and if they are paying for the whole trip then you are stuck with what they give you unless grandson fights that battle for you. Please keep us updated!

Grandson could sleep on a roll-a-way in their room.

Would add that cabins are very small much smaller than most bedrooms at home which makes things more awkward when sharing.
I woukd agree with others that the parents each take one child and you and the other gran can share.

I feel dad and son should share and mum and daughter and the two grans together. I know my 15 yr old grandson would not be happy sharing with me!! Maybe brother and sister share. Seems odd situation which should have been fully discussed before booking holiday!

I think it’s very unfair expecting you and teen grandson to share a cabin. Can you speak to his Dad and say you are not happy about this.doesn’t sound much of a holiday to me, for you or him!

Is the cruise imminent?
In your position I would immediately get on to the cruise line and book my own cabin, but then I would have done that right from the start.
I wouldn’t have wanted to share with anyone (apart from my husband)

It’s not fair on either of you to have to be in the same cabin, and sleeping arrangements should have been one of the first things discussed when the holiday was planned.

lemsip

i would not go under those circumstances!

Nor me.
And I'd be mortified if I was the 17 year old!
Can you get an extra cabin so one of you can decamp?
Or two singles?

How inappropriate! Under no circumstances would I be doing that!

I definitely wouldn't agree to that! It's not fair on either of you. And I'm not even sure I'd want to share with the other gran either - depends how well you know her, and how well you get on? My preference, if I couldn't have my own cabin, would be to share with my daughter, and let father & son share together.

I certainly wouldn’t share a room with a 17 year old boy. Can you pay a bit extra and get a room to yourself ? Just say you are more comfortable that way or that you snore or something, anything!

I have an adult grandson with anxiety and social issues and think expecting anyone similarly affected, especially a 17 yr old of the opposite sex, to share with his granny is appalling and very unlikely to do anything except make both people feel very uncomfortable and embarrassed and it’s likely to be sheer torture for the boy.

I suppose the issue with cruises is that a singleton occupying a cabin normally has to pay a 100% supplement so sharing (but with different configuration) makes sound financial sense.

You can’t just pay to upgrade, you’d have to book another cabin and pay the solo supplement which won’t be cheap,

While I wouldn’t want to share with a teenager of either sex it’s a case of beggars can’t be choosers to me. If your son is paying for the trip you take what you’re given or book your own cabin so as not to have to share. I don’t think it’s appropriate to make demands of other peoples money.

I have a 16 yr old grandson and though we have a close bond there’s no way we would be expected to share a cabin. His family sleep in various configurations but if need be grandson will share with dad (or sleep in a tent as dad snores)
This should have been discussed from the outset. Presumably there are financial considerations. As has been said, a single person pays double, so single cabins for you and the lad will cost a huge amount. Speak to the family asap. It is the parents who have created the problem, not their son.

Grams2five

While I wouldn’t want to share with a teenager of either sex it’s a case of beggars can’t be choosers to me. If your son is paying for the trip you take what you’re given or book your own cabin so as not to have to share. I don’t think it’s appropriate to make demands of other peoples money.

I kind of agree with that. I have a 17 year old grandson, and would probably be able to share with him if I had to, as long as we got the ground rules sorted, probably easier than sharing with my teenage granddaughters, but that’s their very different natures. How do you think he would react to you saying that you know it’s not ideal, but could you do anything to make it more comfortable for him ( then sneak in your ideas !)
His dad paying for everyone definitely makes a difference, and the young man’s communication difficulties does too. Paying for your own cabin also creates the issue of him being on his own in the cabin.
It is awkward, so good luck.

As your relationship is iffy at times with grandson surely this won't improve it!

Call the cruise company and find out if there is a spare cabin. If there isn't you have to decide if you still want to go if the family won't budge.

If you do de-camp that will resolve matters.
I hope you can do that both in terms of space and financially.

Thinking of you.

Daddima he's 17, not 7!
I think he'd be delighted to have his own space!

Maybe he was asked who he'd feel most comfortable sharing with and asked to share with the OP? She has to discuss the situation with her son and find out how the arrangements came about.

NotSpaghetti

As your relationship is iffy at times with grandson surely this won't improve it!

Call the cruise company and find out if there is a spare cabin. If there isn't you have to decide if you still want to go if the family won't budge.

If you do de-camp that will resolve matters.
I hope you can do that both in terms of space and financially.

Thinking of you.

If an extra cabin is not an option I would most likely just contract an illness a few days before the trip and not go.
These family groups are a nice idea but full of tensions in many cases, this sharing with a boy is one of those, whenever we have family staying at home 2 or 3 nights is the limit.

Sparklefizz

Now I am older I like to have my own space. My grandson is 16 and I definitely would not want to have to share with him, and no doubt he wouldn't want to share with me either.

I would pay for my own cabin.

Me too, I’d want a cabin that I could return to during the day, use the loo have a shower, get changed and flop onto the bed for a nap if I wanted or sit on my balcony, certainly not have to do this with my almost adult Grandson in the room. He must be so upset about this as well.

I would book myself a cabin asap, or not go.

NotSpaghetti

Daddima he's 17, not 7!
I think he'd be delighted to have his own space!

You’re probably right, I was just thinking of how his parents might see it, depending on exactly what his ‘issues’ are. It might turn out to be a case of just making the best of a bad job, but I think a talk with the young man is a very good idea.

Daddima I think the whole premise is bonkers. Even the 13 year old probably won't be happy.

If any sharing had to be done when my (5) children were in there teens and young adults it was not grandparents I'd expect to be doing it!

Family gatherings often meant some doubling up was necessary. My husband and I were the ones who "put ourselves out" and often the youngest shared with us. This may still be possible if the parents can upgrade to a cabin for 3... However that still means the grandmothers have to share - but better than the alternative I feel.

Please come back when you are sorted 1969q.
What a mess.

...and a warning to everyone to agree sleeping arrangements before booking!