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Grandparenting

Older grandparents

(51 Posts)
Babs03 Wed 14-Aug-24 14:29:51

Our GCs had babies later in life, late thirties early forties, so we are also older, I am in my late sixties, hubby mid seventies. Back in the day most of us had our children in our twenties so our parents were in their forties or fifties at the most. Sadly my parents died early on so didn’t see all their grandkids but most have enjoyed seeing them grow up and had the energy to keep up with them.
We definitely feel shattered after babysitting our lot, our energy levels and physical health just isn’t up to it. Also we doubt very much we will be around to see them grow to adult hood, which is sad.
What are other grandparents experience if this?

Skydancer Wed 14-Aug-24 14:31:58

I am 74 with a new baby grandson. I feel the same. I will not see him grow to adulthood so I am making the most of him now. Yes, looking after little ones does get more tiring as one gets older. Make the most of every day.

Babs03 Wed 14-Aug-24 14:32:00

Sorry think I got that wrong for GCs I mean grown children not grandchildren. I get confused with all the initials 🤔

TwiceAsNice Wed 14-Aug-24 14:54:00

My daughter had her twins at 33. They are now 15 and I am 71. I hope I will see them into adulthood but maybe won’t get to see their children which will be sad. I had my children young and had a career afterwards ( still work part time now) Our children seem to have done the reverse and looking after “smalls” when you’re older is hard work!

Greenfinch Wed 14-Aug-24 19:48:23

My daughter (my youngest child) had her twins at 27 and as circumstances dictated we were heavily involved in their upbringing. DH was still working full time but because I was only 60 I coped very well. My younger son was 44 when he had his fourth baby and though I love her dearly , I don’t feel I now have the energy to do what I would like to do with her. She can’t understand why I can’t get down on the floor to play with her and when she tries to pull me up from the chair I annoyingly have to explain that I need both hands to get myself up. Most annoying!
My friend was 40 when she had her daughter and her daughter was 42 when she had her children. This meant that when my friend died she had only known her granddaughters for 3-4 years. Sad!

Fleurpepper Wed 14-Aug-24 20:31:52

I had my children young, and my daughter in her 30s- so still young for our grandchildren to do lots of fun things with them. And I am very grateful for this. Next generations will have old parents, and children having children when older- many children will never know they grandparents, or be able to enjoy their company to travel and do active stuff.

Grandma70s Wed 14-Aug-24 20:50:49

I had my babies in my early 30s, my son’s children were born when he and his wife were in their mid- to late 30s. I am now 84, and my grandchildren are 15 and 12. This seems quite all right to me. We were just too busy with education and other things in our 20s. I wouldn’t want it any other way.

Grandma70s Wed 14-Aug-24 20:53:06

I should add that we live at opposite ends of the country, so the question of babysitting didn’t arise.

JaneJudge Wed 14-Aug-24 20:55:02

My mother was a grandmother on her 40s and she had to work so had no time to look after grandchildren. I don’t think anything is ideal other than loving our families

Georgesgran Wed 14-Aug-24 21:14:04

I agree JJ. My DF was 40 when I was born, my DM 25, but she died at 69 after being disabled for years. My DF lived to 96 and was able to see DD1 married (but not divorced!). He was also able to visit DD2 daily for many months, following her life/changing illness. I was
28 and 32 when my DDs were born and DH’s parents only wanted to see them on their terms - not often!
Both DDs weren’t bothered about having children and DH and I became used to that - it was their choice. They favoured houses, cars and holidays instead. We were amazed when DD1 announced a pregnancy at 38 and DD2 a few years later, also when she was 38.
DH was able to enjoy a few years with DGS1, but sadly died 3 months before DGS2 arrived.
I’m 73 now and my DGSs are 7 and 3 and I will continue to see them as much as I can, for as long as I’m able. I’d like to think I’ll still be around to see DGS2 learn to drive, but who knows what’s round the corner?

M0nica Wed 14-Aug-24 21:42:32

My parents were in their late 50s when they became grandparents. DH and I were in our mid-60s. I was never aware of it causing any problems at all.

My grandparents died when I was in my 20s. My parents grandparents mostly died when they were in their teens. I come from a long lived family with good mental & physical health in old age and my father lived long enough to become a great grandfather and appreciate and enjoy it.

I am now 80 and my grandchildren are 14 and 17. I expect to live long enough to see them graduate from university. What more could I want.

Chocolatelovinggran Thu 15-Aug-24 07:43:00

I am 72, my eldest grandchild is eleven and my youngest is one ( and will not be my last, I expect)
I do feel that I am able to do less with the younger ones than I felt able to do with my older ones.
However, at sixty one I had just retired from full time work and was only working a little part time. My mother had just died, so I had time and energy for my grandparents role that I might not have had when I was working , caring for mum and looking out for my youngest child, born in my late thirties.
Swings and roundabouts, I'd say.

Chardy Thu 15-Aug-24 07:54:15

My four grandparents (all born late 19th century) died when their oldest grandchild was 4, 12, 18 and 33. So one saw their oldest GC to Sixth Form, and one to adulthood

Gingster Thu 15-Aug-24 08:04:29

I was 52 when eldest gd was born and 55 when DD’s twins were born, then 3 months later DS1’s baby was born. I was very involved with them all and had plenty of energy for physical games and taking them away to our seaside house, Center parcs etc. to give DD a break.
I’m now 74 and still feel fit and raring to go but only in short bursts. Dh also 74 isnt great physically so doesn’t really join in the fun , hasn’t got much interest in the GC but is always happy to see them for a ‘short while.’ 🙄.

Eldest gd 22 and youngest 8. With twins 18 , gd’s 10, 12, 15, 18. In between. Nice to have a variety of interesting ages.

LOUISA1523 Thu 15-Aug-24 08:35:44

I became a granby at 50 ...now 59 with 3 GDs ...don't think there will be anymore .....hopefully I will be around to see them full grown....but no guarantees.....my mum is 88 and feels fortunate to be watching her GGC grow

tanith Thu 15-Aug-24 08:56:57

I'm 76 and was a GP at 39 so have seen most of my GC grow and thrive although as I was working babysitting was limited to wkends and sleepovers mostly. Now I am able to watch my GGC come along and grow up the oldest now 7 and i hope to see them grow at least to teenage years. Babysitting is done by my daughters now as I'm allowed a back seat which suits me. I'd find looking after them too much nowadays.

Cossy Thu 15-Aug-24 09:20:11

We are almost 66 and 68 respectively. We had our children “late” so have AC now if 40, 38, 27, 24 and 22. Only the 40 year old has a child who is 9.

We are hoping for more!

Cossy Thu 15-Aug-24 09:21:46

I lost all my own GPs before I was 16. Last one died when I was 15, first one I never met!

luluaugust Thu 15-Aug-24 11:55:38

First GC arrived when I was 49 but they lived hundreds of miles away so no babysitting duties. I was 55 when the first GC was born nearby and we were very involved with the four born locally. The eldest GC are all boys and nobody has any intention of settling down so not sure if we will see GGC.
I have friends who are nearly 80 with GC who are yet to start school, they find it hard to do a lot with them.

undines Thu 15-Aug-24 12:01:35

I had children in my 30's and 40's. I'm 73 and have 4 grandchildren from 7 to 10. I'm lucky, I do not find them exhausting, and I have to keep my strength up because son number 3 may have children soon. My mother and her sisters and mother all lived well into their 90's so I expect to keep going for a while! I think it's important not to think ourselves into the state of mind where we expect to be tired. Keep active, drink plenty of water, sleep well, take supplements, and believe in energy!!!

Dcba Thu 15-Aug-24 12:43:34

My first grandchild was born when I was 60 and now I’m 82 I have five ranging from 14 to 22! I’ve had lots of fun with them during their younger years and been involved in their lives ….and now proudly stand by as they head off to high school and university ….and went to see the eldest graduate from university this Spring! The relationship changes as time goes - they grow up as I grow older - but the joy they bring me and the love they show me in funny little ways is a precious part of my existence these days.

jocork Thu 15-Aug-24 13:43:30

I was an older mum having my two at 35 and 37. Even then I didn't have the energy many of my younger friends had, but my ex husband was younger and did a lot with them when they were young.
Now I have two GC under 4 and will be 70 next month. I struggle with getting down on the floor to play with them and taking them out and about can be exhausting. DD is still single and if she ever has children I fear I'll be too old to enjoy them, but I do my best. The other GP are a bit younger but we're none of us spring chickens!
My GC still have great grandparents in their 90s so I hope I live long enough to see them grow up even if I can't do as much with them as I'd like.

JennyCee Thu 15-Aug-24 13:44:21

My father died when i was 13 and my mother when i was 19.
Having a child young is no guarantee you will be a young grandparent. Age shouldn’t be a handicap, as Dcba shows

MissAdventure Thu 15-Aug-24 13:46:02

Life often has other plans, that's true.

jocork Thu 15-Aug-24 13:47:56

There are advantages too. Being retired I have more flexibility to help out, though living 200 miles away limits that. Also as one who loves making things/sewing and crafts, I spend time making unique gifts that hopefully they will treasure when they grow up.