DIL obsessed with healthy diet for child

To dial things back a bit - why do you think you know better than your DIL, NJAPF? Also, do you feel that your own MIL had all the answers and knew better than you when it came to your own children?

Op

Are your relationships with others so high conflict?

It is a common denominator in your threads

NO children need sweet snacks at 19 months (or any age actually).

You should be proud that they are obsessed with feeding the little girl only healthy foods. Why would anyone think that this isn't the best thing for her?

Why do you want her to eat rubbish and why are you giving her things you know her parents don't want her to eat?

None of this makes sense to me.

Healthy doesn’t mean not yummy 😋

My 4 yo GS’s fav snacks:
Bananas
Apple slices w/peanut butter (made at home)
Fresh peaches
Cantaloupe, Honeydew, Watermelon
Greek Yogurt w/blueberries
Cherry Tomatoes and Cucumber slices
Baby Carrots
Snap Peas
Frozen Yogurt (made at home)

I could go on….

Just abide by your DIL's instructions. If your granddaughter cannot have them at home and you give them to her at your house then it could cause problems for your daughter in law when your granddaughter starts asking for them at home and says, 'grandma gives them to me'.

GrannySomerset

Repeat after me - This is not my child. If it is too difficult to obey the mother’s rules, however misguided they seem to you, then don’t look after her. You really have no alternative!

This right there. And also you dot have to be afraid of getting your granddaughter who is not even two yet a cupcake or a biscuit. You just don’t do it. It’s that Simple . You don’t live in fear of it’s the cupcake gonna sneak out of the cupboard and surprise you.

I can’t believe what I am reading. I feel so sorry for your DIL and your son. Also your granddaughter who has the benefit of an intelligent mother who cares for her child's health and teeth and yet has a grandmother who is thwarting her efforts. Glad to hear your son supports his wife.

Let's be real here. We all know who the entitled one in this relationship is and it ain't the DIL. You sound like a know it all, I'm always right kind of MIL and I feel sorry for your DIL having to put up with you. Did you apologise or did you double down on being right and "it's just one". It doesn't matter if it's one time a week or 10 times a week. You were asked NOT to give something to her and you did it anyway.

My own mother gave my child a Cheeto puff when asked not to. She did it behind my back in the other room anyway and my child choked on it! She also gave her a peanut butter biscuits after she was told not to and put her in hospital. Don't EVER go against a mother's rules. You are not the mother. What a laugh to call her the entitled one. Seems like it's all about YOU and what YOU want.

For goodness sake if DIL says no sweets just do that, or the child will always pester granny for treats, if mummy doesn’t let her have sweets it will be “granny lets me”. To maintain the relationship you MUST be consistent with DIL, not just food everything else as well.

I agree with everyone else. You need to follow the parents instructions to the letter. I would have been furious if my parents gave my children something I had asked them not to. Just enjoy looking after your grandchildren and spending time with them and aim to keep the peace!

This sounds like a wind up post. Do you think its real?

Gosh OP, are you for real? What you have posted sounds like the plot of a story. Honestly. I have a granddaughter and right from the start her parents had very strict rules about what she was allowed to eat. When I look after her I abide by those rules.

kircubbin2000

This sounds like a wind up post. Do you think its real?

The OP has another thread on GN. I think she is genuine!

"My daughter says I should stop looking after the child altogether" - so you own daughter thinks it is ok to give any child sugary, unhealthy snacks!! Words fail me!

kircubbin2000

This sounds like a wind up post. Do you think its real?

Unfortunately not. The OP has form for causing upset with her children.

Their child, their rules. I would not dream of going against my DD or DS if they had requested no sweet treats.

Apple, Pear, Banana, all perfectly acceptable as a treat. I am sure that as she is older, the odd sweet treat may be allowed, but sadly by then you may not be seeing her.

I thought so too but some people are entitled and selfish like OP. She's now upset because she's been called out on her behaviour and attitude towards rules that were in place. Sounds like she's had problems in the past, if she were my MIL I'd cut her off. DIL is a saint having to put up with this one.

I have the same thought about the DIL. It must be very stressful having to deal with a know it all MIL. Poor woman.

I was the same with my children I never had sweet things in the house. Of course when they went to friends that was another matter but I expected the grandparents to respect my wishes. They are in their 40’s now and neither have fillings.

You have been given clear unambiguous feedback here NJAPF.
A number if grandparents, from a variety of perspectives have given you good advice.
I hope that you take it.

Unfortunately I think notjustaprettyface is not going to listen to any advice at all this is not the first thread where she has gone against all good sensible replies
I mafraid you will end up not seeing your grandkids because you are being so pig headed about it all

Get some help with ‘how to be a good grandparent’ and listen to all the advice given Its quite rare for everyone to agree on a subject on GN and everyone here says you are wrong and your daughter in law right Can you accept that and change your ways? I m not too positive about you changing

Your dil isn’t entitled at all . She wants her very young child to have a healthy diet with no sugary snacks . As a dental
Hygienist I’m totally on her side and wish more parents would be like her.
Tooth decay and obesity is increasing even in young children.
I’m absolutely stunned that you would go against your dil wishes.

And no she’s not obsessed, she wants a healthy diet for her child .

Notjustaprettyface

Granny Somerset
Then I won’t look after her
This entitled generation should not expect any help with their kids if they think they know best
And by the way they don’t !

That makes me feel so sad, why on earth would you continue to insist that you know best and give up on the chance to have a loving relationship with your grandchild

Your daughter in law has stated, for very sound reasons, no sugary snacks. Why do you have to go against her wishes; she is certainly endorsing a very healthy diet, but if you deliberately contravene it it will cause problems for your granddaughter as well as you. You do seem to look for confrontation