I don't hope the dil was "polite" unless it was with incisive chilliness. I hope her incisive chilliness tore a strip off this recalcitrant granny who is behaving like a spoilt teenager.
Blusters in corner if my mouth
WORD ASSOCIATION - 9th May 2026
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My daughter in law and my son have a beautiful little girl aged 19 months
I try to look after her once a week , she is lovely
My son is completely under the influence of his wife
She is obsessed with feeding the little girl only healthy foods
So my granddaughter is not allowed sugary snacks ever
I think it is good to have a healthy diet and I agree children should not have too many sugary snacks but my DIl is taking it too far
When I look after my grandaughter for the afternoon like I did today , I am told to not give her any snacks
We shared a calippo and she stained her cardigan so my DIL told me off by text
I am in a dilemna : I want to see my granddaughter but I can’t have this fear that I cannot give her a biscuit or a little cupcake in the afternoon
I respect my DIL and DS ´s choices of what they want their child to eat etc but surely I ve got to have the flexibility of feeding my grandchild the odd treat especially as it is a maximum of once a week
What do you think ?
What would you do ?
My daughter says I should stop looking after the child altogether
I am lost and deeply upset
I don't hope the dil was "polite" unless it was with incisive chilliness. I hope her incisive chilliness tore a strip off this recalcitrant granny who is behaving like a spoilt teenager.
Which is not to say I don't think a lot of people obsess about healthy diets, often based on mistaken ideas. But that's another issue.
It sounds like you are sneakily trying to turn your GD against her mother.. a very risky strategy that will surely fail as the mother sounds much more intelligent than you..
Have you seen the ingredients in a Calippo? They are high in sugar and have other rubbish added to them, good for your DIL to want her child to have a healthy diet, if you were my MIL my reaction would be the same. There are plenty of healthy alternatives if you use a bit of imagination!
What would I do? I'd do as the child's parents ask.
I'd send a note with an apology for my horrid behaviour.
What does your son have to say about this?
If the child is healthy and growing then there is no need to worry.
It's better than them eating nothing but sweets. I do wonder what some posters would say if someone posted that their grandkids ate nothing but sweets, would they still stick to parental wishes then?
What a minefield!
WAIT
On second thought, as we all agree, perhaps we are all wrong.
Run on ahead doing whatever you wish - you certainly won't have to look after her or perhaps even see her or her parents again.
Why do you have to give her a Calippo or a biscuit or a cup cake? Why can't you just stick with what your daughter in law has asked you to do? Is it that hard to follow the child's routine? At least she will have a nice set of choppers when she is older and not the rotten teeth many children have nowadays!
Well , thank you all for your very unpleasant and nasty comments
Gosh ! I never imagined people could be as nasty as that
It’s a wonder I am still alive after all this shooting down
It must be nice to be as perfect as you all are
Sadly , God didn’t make me like this
You all missed the point that once in a while , it couldn’t do any harm
That is common sense
Yes I was hoping you would agree with me but it wasn’t to be
I wish you well with your wonderful healthy GCs and even more wonderful DILs
I will now close this debate
DiL is not "obssessed". She simply loves her child and wants her child to only have nutritious food enter their body. If a child eats sugary sweets, there will be less room for nutrition plus why set them up for nutritional failure when their bodies are growing so fast. Sugar can be classified as a drug since it is a mind-altering substance and what's worse is that it's addicting.
You asked for our what we thought and what would we do and don’t like the consensus of opinion, your choice.
What a load of self righteous ladies you are. Talk about ganging up.
I am not talking about the rights and wrongs of what you posted just the manner in which expressed yourselves.
If I were Notjustaprettyface I would tell you all to .............
....... Give it a rest.
Indigo8
What a load of self righteous ladies you are. Talk about ganging up.
I am not talking about the rights and wrongs of what you posted just the manner in which expressed yourselves.
If I were Notjustaprettyface I would tell you all to .............
The comments were honest about the cause of this problem, not self righteous! Dear me!
Whilst I absolutely agree that the OP should follow her DiL’s rules regarding treats for her child, it seems to me that as previous generations we have made a rod for our own backs.
Why are cake and biscuits always available at a coffee morning?
Why do we insist on making birthday cakes?
Who remembers ( dare I say it?) sugar sandwiches?!
When did you last see savoury healthy snacks on offer at an adult event?
Food for thought.
Who remembers ( dare I say it?) sugar sandwiches?!
Made by my maternal Granny. That's all I can remember about her.
I suppose, with rationing, sugar was a treat.
Why do we insist on making birthday cakes?
Once a year, not as part of a normal diet.
I'm going to chop up some carrot sticks, peppers and cucumber with humus for the decorators who are coming next week.
No-one has been nasty, NJPF. It seems you simply don't understand the actual issue, which is that you must stick to the parents' rules even if you think they are silly.
This applies to all grandparents, not just you.
Or, if I allow my wicked angel to speak: if you'd removed the stain from your GD's cardigan no-one would have known about the Calipo 😈
Seems to me that both sides could lighten up a bit. If the grandmother is helping her dil by looking after the granddaughter once a week, and the grandmother has a biscuit at teatime is the sky going to fall in if the child has one too? I think the mother should be grateful for the help and realise that looking after toddlers is exhausting and may call for more than grated carrot (with respect to whoever suggested this).
On the other hand the ice lolly was prob unwise, esp if the cardigan was tricky to wash, and by way of a truce the OP could agree not to repeat that.
My DIL was very strict about what DGD ate when I looked after her. We went out to her favourite cafe one day and I wouldn’t let the poor thing have the Biscotti biscuit that I was given with my coffee, only to find her mum did allow her to have them. I found the tv ban more difficult as sometimes I just wanted to be able to sit in front of the tv and chill out for a while sometimes. I was pretty obsessed about what my two ate when they were little ( eg carob instead of chocolate) so I understood how she felt about food, though. They now eat some sweets that I think are awful for them!
Orange juice is the 😈 to get out of knitted cardigans. Advice from my Sis-in-law about 45 years ago before we parents knew right from wrong re diet - "only give them lemon squash, it doesn't stain".
I wouldn’t let the poor thing have the Biscotti biscuit that I was given with my coffee
Not even a dear grandchild would get my Biscotti biscuit.
the single biggest reason for young children being admitted to hosp and undergoing general anaesthetic is for tooth extraction.
most of these are first teeth.
young children do not go out and buy tooth-rotting substances with their own money.
they don't even go to and fro school by themselves.
i often see adults picking up children from school and immediately giving them confectionery, biscuits, and to the child in the push-chair too.
and ignore the wrappers thrown on the ground.
or, as they would say, the 'floor'.
Allira
^I wouldn’t let the poor thing have the Biscotti biscuit that I was given with my coffee^
Not even a dear grandchild would get my Biscotti biscuit.
I still remember the look on her little face
. She’s pretty obsessed with all things Biscotti these days; there’s so much choice! Spread and everything! Mind you, she’s the one that introduced me to the cafe which used to make her favourite bagels with cream cheese and salmon, something she introduced me to!
Spread and everything! Really?
I'm off to look at Tesco website.
Of course, I'd hide it from the grandchildren.
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