DIL obsessed with healthy diet for child

Orange juice is the 😈 to get out of knitted cardigans. Advice from my Sis-in-law about 45 years ago before we parents knew right from wrong re diet - "only give them lemon squash, it doesn't stain".

My DIL was very strict about what DGD ate when I looked after her. We went out to her favourite cafe one day and I wouldn’t let the poor thing have the Biscotti biscuit that I was given with my coffee, only to find her mum did allow her to have them. I found the tv ban more difficult as sometimes I just wanted to be able to sit in front of the tv and chill out for a while sometimes. I was pretty obsessed about what my two ate when they were little ( eg carob instead of chocolate) so I understood how she felt about food, though. They now eat some sweets that I think are awful for them!

Seems to me that both sides could lighten up a bit. If the grandmother is helping her dil by looking after the granddaughter once a week, and the grandmother has a biscuit at teatime is the sky going to fall in if the child has one too? I think the mother should be grateful for the help and realise that looking after toddlers is exhausting and may call for more than grated carrot (with respect to whoever suggested this).

On the other hand the ice lolly was prob unwise, esp if the cardigan was tricky to wash, and by way of a truce the OP could agree not to repeat that.

No-one has been nasty, NJPF. It seems you simply don't understand the actual issue, which is that you must stick to the parents' rules even if you think they are silly.

This applies to all grandparents, not just you.

Or, if I allow my wicked angel to speak: if you'd removed the stain from your GD's cardigan no-one would have known about the Calipo 😈

Why do we insist on making birthday cakes?
Once a year, not as part of a normal diet.

I'm going to chop up some carrot sticks, peppers and cucumber with humus for the decorators who are coming next week.

Who remembers ( dare I say it?) sugar sandwiches?!

Made by my maternal Granny. That's all I can remember about her.
I suppose, with rationing, sugar was a treat.

Whilst I absolutely agree that the OP should follow her DiL’s rules regarding treats for her child, it seems to me that as previous generations we have made a rod for our own backs.

Why are cake and biscuits always available at a coffee morning?

Why do we insist on making birthday cakes?

Who remembers ( dare I say it?) sugar sandwiches?!

When did you last see savoury healthy snacks on offer at an adult event?
Food for thought.

Indigo8

What a load of self righteous ladies you are. Talk about ganging up.
I am not talking about the rights and wrongs of what you posted just the manner in which expressed yourselves.

If I were Notjustaprettyface I would tell you all to .............

The comments were honest about the cause of this problem, not self righteous! Dear me!

....... Give it a rest.

What a load of self righteous ladies you are. Talk about ganging up.
I am not talking about the rights and wrongs of what you posted just the manner in which expressed yourselves.

If I were Notjustaprettyface I would tell you all to .............

You asked for our what we thought and what would we do and don’t like the consensus of opinion, your choice.

DiL is not "obssessed". She simply loves her child and wants her child to only have nutritious food enter their body. If a child eats sugary sweets, there will be less room for nutrition plus why set them up for nutritional failure when their bodies are growing so fast. Sugar can be classified as a drug since it is a mind-altering substance and what's worse is that it's addicting.

Well , thank you all for your very unpleasant and nasty comments
Gosh ! I never imagined people could be as nasty as that
It’s a wonder I am still alive after all this shooting down
It must be nice to be as perfect as you all are
Sadly , God didn’t make me like this
You all missed the point that once in a while , it couldn’t do any harm
That is common sense
Yes I was hoping you would agree with me but it wasn’t to be
I wish you well with your wonderful healthy GCs and even more wonderful DILs
I will now close this debate

Why do you have to give her a Calippo or a biscuit or a cup cake? Why can't you just stick with what your daughter in law has asked you to do? Is it that hard to follow the child's routine? At least she will have a nice set of choppers when she is older and not the rotten teeth many children have nowadays!

WAIT

On second thought, as we all agree, perhaps we are all wrong.

Run on ahead doing whatever you wish - you certainly won't have to look after her or perhaps even see her or her parents again.

What does your son have to say about this?

If the child is healthy and growing then there is no need to worry.

It's better than them eating nothing but sweets. I do wonder what some posters would say if someone posted that their grandkids ate nothing but sweets, would they still stick to parental wishes then?

What a minefield!

What would I do? I'd do as the child's parents ask.

I'd send a note with an apology for my horrid behaviour.

Have you seen the ingredients in a Calippo? They are high in sugar and have other rubbish added to them, good for your DIL to want her child to have a healthy diet, if you were my MIL my reaction would be the same. There are plenty of healthy alternatives if you use a bit of imagination!

It sounds like you are sneakily trying to turn your GD against her mother.. a very risky strategy that will surely fail as the mother sounds much more intelligent than you..

Which is not to say I don't think a lot of people obsess about healthy diets, often based on mistaken ideas. But that's another issue.

I don't hope the dil was "polite" unless it was with incisive chilliness. I hope her incisive chilliness tore a strip off this recalcitrant granny who is behaving like a spoilt teenager.

Why on earth would you want to share an ice lolly or give such a little child sweets and cakes? If it is because you think they are "treats" find other treats. My little grandson loves strawberries and also choosing an apple off our tree or a tomato from grandads greenhouse. Treats don't have to be food based, sit down and share a book instead of an ice lolly.!

Esmay

She is their daughter and I think that you should respect their wishes .
I hope that your daughter in law was polite to you .

Gone are the old days :
I asked my mother in law to please stop covering my children's cereals in a thick layer of sugar . She also gave them lots of boiled sweets .
I heard her say that I was mean to them and completely ignored me .

None of my children particularly liked unhealthy food choices and as they've grown older completely reject them .

It was my mother in my case. She said I was cruel 😳

The child is still a baby and doesn't need to be offered sweet stuff for quite some time - if at all. Give the child's future teeth something the parents would agree with. Sweet things as a baby are not a good idea! Come on now, take notice of the baby's parents

This thread is so ludicrous I think it must be a silly wind-up.

Just in case it’s genuine, you have your answer here. You MUST abide by your daughter in law’s wishes with regard to what her toddler eats.