DIL obsessed with healthy diet for child

She is their daughter and I think that you should respect their wishes .
I hope that your daughter in law was polite to you .

Gone are the old days :
I asked my mother in law to please stop covering my children's cereals in a thick layer of sugar . She also gave them lots of boiled sweets .
I heard her say that I was mean to them and completely ignored me .

None of my children particularly liked unhealthy food choices and as they've grown older completely reject them .

I work with children and also a grandmother of four. I wouldn’t go against your dear dil. It’s her child do as your told. Sorry.

Caleo

I sympathise with you Isummer. But you can do only what you can do. You alone cannot change bad cooks in schools, hospitals, old people's homes, carer agencies, and families including your in own family.

You are doing a good job just as you are and the small child will not forget your example.

I know Caleo but feel it’s sad that most of these places do not appreciate that good nutrition reflects so much on our health and well-being.
But we are hoping that home influences will encourage her to make good choices. From next week I am having her for tea 2 nights a week and already thinking about and prepping healthy teas.

When she starts school they are strict about what's in lunch boxes now.
No crisps unless baked, no chocolate, no squash only water.

If you stop looking after your grandchild because you can't give her a biscuit, you're cutting your nose off to spite your face.

Notjustaprettyface

Thanks for your help doodledog !
You missed the point about it being a maximum of once a week

Is the child emaciated, pale and weak ?

If not, what exactly are your concerns ?

I sympathise with you Isummer. But you can do only what you can do. You alone cannot change bad cooks in schools, hospitals, old people's homes, carer agencies, and families including your in own family.

You are doing a good job just as you are and the small child will not forget your example.

Don't you see that you were teaching the little girl that a food (cupcake ) that is actually bad for her health is "a treat".

Many older women don't know about or agree with up to date nutrition as it affect child care.

I think you might read up on how to rear a child to eat eat healthily.

Your daughter in law is not "obsessed" , she is correct according to proper child rearing.

Marydoll

I think is what the OP is referring to.

Must say I wouldn’t give one of those to a 19 month old. TBH I wouldn’t share it either - I wouldn’t even want it myself. And dd has always been reasonably relaxed about treats at granny’s house,

flappergirl 😂😂😂

Notjustaprettyface

Granny Somerset
Then I won’t look after her
This entitled generation should not expect any help with their kids if they think they know best
And by the way they don’t !

Parents are entitled to decide what they think is best for their child. Sadly your comment above highlights exactly why your DIL no longer wants you to look after their child.

Only YOU can change this sad situation really.

There is no dilemma, you have to do what the parents say.

You will have to stick to their rules, whether you like it or not! Please don't stop caring for your GD - that is ridiculous!!!
Having said that I do understand how you feel, but this is not your child. If you are not careful you will lose both GD and her parents so take care that does' nt happen.
Bear in mind your GD is only 19 months old as she grows older , begins pre school and after school activities your GC may begin to ask for a few sweet treats and your son and DIL will deal with that pressure as they see fit. I am a believer in Grandma caring - Grandma's rules, but that only refers to general behaviour ie. Silence in the car when I am driving in busy traffic, no playing at the top of the garden where we have an old greenhouse (not shatterproof glass) just general issues to protect their a safety and my sanity! They respect my
' rules ' and my daughter always backs me up. However in your situation I would most definitely stick to the no sweets/ snack rule. Ask your DIL which treats ( if any) you are allowed to give your GC and respect the answer. Good luck , enjoy your GD and preserve your relationship with your son and your DIL. You have had your child/ren and brought them up making your own decisions. Your son and DIL are entitled to do just that. Relax , do as you are asked .

My daughter has had a similar problem with her MIL. My granddaughter is 4 and myself and her Grandma (MIL) have shared some childcare.
I eat healthy avoid any Ultra Processed food, never have biscuits, cake sweets, chocolate, ice cream, sugary drinks in the house. So at my house GD eats healthy no snack cupboard and healthy meals. I make her Greek yogurt and fruit lollies or sugar free banana and oat muffins or hummus and carrot sticks for a treat. She never asks for anything different in my house.
At her Grandmas she can help herself to crisps, biscuits, chocolate bars etc, my daughter has fell out with her a number of times but Grandma says it’s just a treat and has threatened to not look after her.
Saying that my granddaughter started school on Monday and for 3 years has free school dinners, I have been horrified at the offerings this week, pizzas, fish and chips, all day breakfast and for dessert doughnuts, choc chip cookies - they can choose fruit which she has some days but given the choice most children will pick the sweet things.

If you do read these posts, OP, I hope you'll have a rethink and not cut off your nose to spite your face.

Ps Don't give your DGD grapes. Yes, they are healthy but a choking hazard. If you do, cut them in half first. Best to ask your DIL for advise or ask her to send snacks.
In fact, are snacks really necessary?

Stick with your DIL rules, as it's just once a week.
My DIL had "Rules" by the time baby 2 came along, things had changed, those original rules mostly went by the way side.

What a strange post, Notjustaprettyface.
Most parents and grandparents fret that their children / GC are eating too many sweets, cakes, processed food, etc. and try to get them to eat fresh fruit, healthy snacks, etc - which will stand them in good stead for their growing needs. Odd thing to focus on too. Do you enjoy looking after the GD? Do you play with her / take her to the park / do an activity with her?

Surely you can't be serious! Just feed the child healthy stuff as requested - it is not difficult - problem solved.

So your son is "completely under the influence of his wife" is he? How incredibly strange. Who would have thought that a man would choose to support the woman he married, who he will share the rest of his life with, who has borne his child and whom he is in love with, rather than his mother. Good god, I've never heard anything so outrageous.

If I was you, I'd not only feed the baby cupcakes and calippos but I'd sit my son down and tell him that his wife is clearly an entitled idiot. I'm sure he'll see the light and realise that you know best. He might even start to love mummy again more than he does her, which (unless I'm mistaken) is the major problem here.

We now look after our 14 month old GD for 10 hours a day, twice a week. Our son doesn't want her to develop a liking for a lot of processedsweet food such as cake and biscuits, so we feed her healthy, fresh foods. She has bananas, strawberries, yoghurts, etc., and I make muffins with grated
apple. I would rather stick to the parents' rules than not be involved in seeing this little girl growing up. The OP seems to be willing to lose being in her GD's life

kircubbin2000

This sounds like a wind up post. Do you think its real?

Knowing some GMs yes it is real, they deliberately spoil GC, it happened with mine, my wife was ill and the kids had to stay with granny for a few weeks. Getting them back to normal routine was quite stressful.

Your daughter in law has stated, for very sound reasons, no sugary snacks. Why do you have to go against her wishes; she is certainly endorsing a very healthy diet, but if you deliberately contravene it it will cause problems for your granddaughter as well as you. You do seem to look for confrontation

Notjustaprettyface

Granny Somerset
Then I won’t look after her
This entitled generation should not expect any help with their kids if they think they know best
And by the way they don’t !

That makes me feel so sad, why on earth would you continue to insist that you know best and give up on the chance to have a loving relationship with your grandchild

And no she’s not obsessed, she wants a healthy diet for her child .

Your dil isn’t entitled at all . She wants her very young child to have a healthy diet with no sugary snacks . As a dental
Hygienist I’m totally on her side and wish more parents would be like her.
Tooth decay and obesity is increasing even in young children.
I’m absolutely stunned that you would go against your dil wishes.