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Grandparenting

The love for grandchildren

(75 Posts)
Ava25 Thu 24-Oct-24 01:50:37

I'm new to the forum and a fairly new grandmother. My granddaughter is 9 months old tomorrow. Does anyone else find it hard to explain to people just how different the love for a grandchild is? We waited 7 years for her my daughter had a loss, and I don't know if that's part of how strongly i feel for her but I feel overwhelmed with love and happiness when I see her. I can't think of anything more wonderful. I have friends who are not grandparents who just don't get it when I gush about her. I've found myself not talking about her as much as they roll their eyes. I just wish people could understand what it means to me after all these years

Mirren Fri 25-Oct-24 13:17:07

I absolutely adore my 4 beloved grandchildren and would go to the moon and back for them but the love I have for them is totally surpassed by the depth of love I have for my own 4 children, 2 of whom are the parents of the grandchildren.
I was overwhelmed with love the minute my son was born, 42 years ago and that has never, ever changed.
It was exactly the same when his 3 younger sisters , now 39,37 and 32 arrived.
Nothing has changed even thoughthey'readults. .
There is nothing that feels lovelier than loving and being loved by my children. Their hugs still have the power to make my heart melt.

jocork Fri 25-Oct-24 13:15:14

I have learned that some friends are keen for updates and like to see photos of my grandchildren while some less so. I have a friend who is single but constantly talks about her nephews and neices and even their children so I expected her to want to see pictures but when I saw her she was too preoccupied with all her own issues and troubles and I never showed her any. I was a bit disappointed to be honest but before I had grandchildren I wasn't interested in other people's so I just share my photos with those I know are interested.

Musicgirl Fri 25-Oct-24 12:51:48

I am not a grandmother yet, but have many friends who are. I am always pleased for them and happy to look at a few photos and be accordingly complimentary. However, I do not appreciate "gushing" and thankfully my friends do not usually indulge in such behaviour. Remember the old saying: there is only one beautiful baby and every mother/grandmother has it.

MissAdventure Fri 25-Oct-24 12:31:52

Me too.
My girl was my girl.

Cossy Fri 25-Oct-24 12:31:31

Congrats to all recently being blessed with GC thanks

Cossy Fri 25-Oct-24 12:30:27

Sparklefizz

I love my grandchildren dearly but no love surpasses the love I feel for my own 2 children.

That’s exactly how I feel x thanks

Babamaman Fri 25-Oct-24 12:23:55

Ava25
I have 7 grandchildren - 5 live in France, 2 in Kent (who I see more often). I adoré them. Even though there are two in France I never see. But I always let them know just how much I adore them (sod their parents)!!!!
Being a grandparent is the best exclusive club in the world.
Mine are grown up now from 23,22,18, 16 x 2 13 & 12!
Next week I’m taking my 12 yr old who lives in Kent to see Stranger Things in London, birthday/Chanukah treat. Treats and making memories are what I do as they all have enough “stuff”!
Oh how I love them all.
Ava25 you enjoy your grandchild as much as possible and tough on your ‘friends’ who just cannot understand that special love.

Haidee Fri 25-Oct-24 12:06:50

From far away Cape Town, when my first grandson was expected,I was looking for a site/group /chat group where I could learn about grandparenting as I was uncertain about this new role, so Ava25 you are at the right place. 18 months later , a week ago I had the huge privilege to be present at my little granddaughter's birth. So now I have two at the age of 75.

Cateq Fri 25-Oct-24 12:01:40

Congratulations on the safe arrival of your GC. It’s hard to put into words how you feel on the arrival of a GC. Before my eldest DGD was born my Dh warned me not to get too close to the baby, this was due to her mother’s behaviour towards us, ie happy to take everything we offered, but didn’t want to interact with us. Once DGd arrived there was no one more attached to her than him. We get to see her when she’s with our son. Thankfully the parents are no longer a couple.

Daddima Fri 25-Oct-24 11:33:50

I feel like ‘bad granny’ here, because, although I do love my grandchildren, I honestly can’t relate to the talk of overwhelming rushes of emotion like nothing felt before etc.
I am happy for all those who do have these feelings for grandchildren, but don’t feel I’m missing out, as I’m happy with the way I get on with all my grandchildren.

NotSpaghetti Fri 25-Oct-24 11:28:49

I do not feel like that Grayling1

All different.

Grayling1 Fri 25-Oct-24 11:27:18

I was given a quote from a friend "you love your children but are in love with your grandchildren! which is the way I feel.

cookiemonster66 Fri 25-Oct-24 11:23:57

I used to cry when leaving my first born grandchild after a weekend visit. I was present at the births of both my grandkids it was such an honour to be there when they took their first breath. My eldest daughter died a few yrs previously and I was just a shell of myself, numb, just existing through each day. When my first grandchild was born to my second daughter, it was like someone had put a defibrillator on my heart, it was that intense, when put in my arms only seconds old, my heart felt a huge burst of love and I came back to life again, and could 'feel' again, it is hard to explain, they are my world, I love them so much, so blessed to be a nanny.

MissInterpreted Fri 25-Oct-24 11:19:36

I love my GS dearly, but it's not the same kind of love for my own children. Now that he's seven, he's also very challenging. Don't get me wrong, I love spending time with him, but he is extremely hyperactive and I'm always exhausted when he's been here.

bevisp1 Fri 25-Oct-24 11:14:29

My first grandchild is almost a year old, from the minute he was born I have so much love for him. It’s a love no one else can understand until you become a grandparent. I love him like I do my own adult children. It’s an immense feeling, and does so much for my soul. Enjoy every moment with your grandchild

Sara1954 Fri 25-Oct-24 06:24:00

It’s worth remembering, as Pinkprincess says, that they aren’t little for long, and that they might turn out to be challenging over the years.
If you show off and gush too much, and appear too smug, you might feel a bit silly if things go badly off course.
Having said that, let’s hope it doesn’t, but regardless, as with your children your love will be unconditional.

Romola Thu 24-Oct-24 22:03:51

One of my mother's friends told me that she went on and on about our children, so I've tried not to gush about our two GSs.
They are nearly grown up now, but the temptation to gush is still there.

Cabbie21 Thu 24-Oct-24 18:59:31

I love my grandchildren “ to the moon and back” as we used to say, but all the more because they are not my responsibility! I think I am so much more relaxed than I was as a young, new parent to my own children.
I don’t expect other people to be interested in them, however.

pinkprincess Thu 24-Oct-24 18:50:26

I have grandchildren and great grandchildren.I love all of them it was wonderful to see them from being tiny newborn babies to grown up, as my grandchildren are now.My two great grandsons are still at the young children stage.
Congratulations Ava I know and share your joy.You are a new grandmother just like I was over 30 years ago when my first GC was born.
Remember please that they do not stay newborn babies for ever!.The newborn stage is very short compared to the years ahead.None of my GC have turned out to be saints but I love them all the same.One in particular came to live in my house when she was a teenager, if I say any details it will "out" me
She was no angel at that time.
She overcame her difficulties and now lives an independent life but I still see her often.
When I became a great grandmother, I felt my age for the first time, as I suddenly realised I was the mother of a Grandfather!

DiamondLily Thu 24-Oct-24 18:17:01

Congrats. 🍾 Enjoy being a granny. But, don’t overload them onto others - people really aren’t much interested in other people’s children/grandchildren. Or, dogs come to that lol 😉

Just enjoy your own experience. 🙂

Hithere Thu 24-Oct-24 13:13:41

Op
Different people have different priorities - of course what is important for you will not rate same for them

Beware of putting all your eggs (or lots of eggs) in one basket regarding your gc

Sara1954 Thu 24-Oct-24 13:12:45

My grandchildren are quite a big part of my life, the local ones I see quite frequently, my best friend doesn’t have any yet, so I’m careful not to make them too big a part of our conversations.
She knows them all, and is interested in them to some extent, but I’d be stupid to imagine she wants to hear every in and out of their lives.
I know she considers I’m lucky, despite all the dramas along the way.

AreWeThereYet Thu 24-Oct-24 12:45:21

Sorry if this sounds harsh but I don't really understand why you need people to understand what your GC means to you. It doesn't affect anyone other than you. Maybe they do know what you mean but they're not as 'gushy'. Or maybe they have other things going on and haven't spent seven years of their life waiting on something they can do nothing about.

Enjoy your grandchild. I think the bond between grandparent and grandchild is quite special, and different to the bond between parent and child. Not better, just different. Maybe when the next one comes you won't feel the need to be quite as gushy. You'll adore him/her anyway because babies are easy to adore even though you haven't waited seven years for him/her. And hopefully you will still have some friends talking to you.

lovesreading Thu 24-Oct-24 12:35:28

Congratulations, enjoy being a grandma.

My husband and I have ten grandchildren who we love dearly. They all live nearby and we have family get-togethers regularly which are total chaos! I realise how lucky we are and my heart goes out to those who aren't as fortunate.

SueDonim Thu 24-Oct-24 12:26:23

Congratulations on the arrival of your granddaughter, Ava.

I’m not sure why you feel the need to explain to people why you love your GD or why they need to understand what she means to you? However delightful your little GD is, other people are not going to be as interested in her as you are - why would they be? We each have our own pleasures in life and to be honest small babies are supremely boring to some people!

Just enjoy the addition to your family - what they say about them growing up fast is true! smile