Grandson over reaction

Poor little boy! If someone splashed me like that I’d be likely to lamp them, in shock. The little lad needs sympathy, not bullying and punishment. An apology from the grandfather would be a start.

Is the grandad your husband?

Poor little guy. He's only five years old!

There’s lots of focus on the splashing here. I’d say consider the wider implications.
Your GS has said stop/no to an adult who has done something he disliked and wanted to stop.
This should be recognised and encouraged. A child should be able to tell someone if he doesn’t like what is happening.
This experience will have taught him that adults have the power, he can’t say stop and if he then reacts in frustration he will be punished.
Really not a good lesson nor one that will protect him in future from others.

I wondered if this was that old "toughening boys up" thing, where they treat little boys a bit roughly so they "learn to take it."

Which would give it a context, at least. If the parents agree with this, even though they might not be aware of it enough to state it, that would explain their reactions too.

If this is the case, it might give you a starting point in considering how to address it, if you plan to do so.

Do you think this would have all happened the same way if it was a little girl instead of a little boy?

Grandfather of the year /sarcasm

The parents should support their child, not the bully

My father had been a PE instructor in the army. He swam well, but neither my mother nor my older siblings could swim. My father splashed my face, nothing and it terrified me. I did eventually take lessons when I was 18 and can do a very panicky breaststroke, but if I’m splashed by another swimmer I’ll leave the pool. The grandfather splashing a child who has asked him not to is a cruel, stupid and thoughtless bully.

I don't think this family are the right people to "encourage" him! Leave it to the professionals!

Crikey that grandfather is well out of order blooming bully and the mother and father should be supporting their child
Poor little thing
A 5 year old can’t articulate that the grandfather is a bully so he does what a 5 year old can do in protest and that is have a melt down and the stupid parents instead of kindly supporting him punished him A great way to confuse a little child
Is the grandfather your husband ? I hope you gave him a good dressing down, stupid man

So poor child isn't confident in water and idiot grandfather thinks splashing water in his face will help! Being punished for being upset makes everything worse and he will probably hate the whole idea of going to the pool now.

Poor grandson, bullied by his grandfather and his parents take the bully’s side. He will resent everyone in this situation.

I’d be having words with your child that is the parent and your husband about this situation. They should be apologising to your GC not the other way around.

I mean the parents are in charge of their child here even if I don’t agree he was in the wrong. But I’d be telling grandad he was in the wrong too - and in the moment I’d have probably stood up for the little guy and said loudly “grandad he has asked you to stop and you’re being a bully, we should respect grandsons words “

crazyH

It’s probably teasing, but bordering on bullying

Ah, the “only teasing/joking/banter” defence.
It was not bordering on bullying, it WAS bullying.

NannieN

Sorry, missed saying, I didn't take his privileges away. I'm his Nannie. His parents took privileges away. He was screaming for me n had to step away to let parents do there job.
I have said that splashing was out of order but have been told it was only splashing and DGS needs to learn to control his emotions. I don't agree.

I’m not sure where you stand OP, from your description you seem to be saying,- that your grandson was overreacting as per your original post but let’s face it he was provoked by stupid bullying immature behaviour.
You don’t overcome fear by being made to feel more fear and your DH was entirely in the wrong.
If DGS “needs to control his emotions” he could do with a better example than that of his grandfather.

The child is five years old and will be perfectly aware that water on its own is harmless. After all, he washes, has showers or baths.

It’s the depth of the water that is scary to a small child whose feet won’t reach the bottom even at the shallow end. Splashing won’t make a jot of difference in alleviating that fear.

Presumably he’s wearing water wings. Far better to lift him off the side and into the water with a series of gentle dunks going deeper and deeper each time so he learns that he will quickly bob to the surface.

I’m a very confident swimmer but anyone splashing water in my face deliberately and repeatedly would get very short shrift.

All the child’s parents will achieve in punishing him will be to make him fear the water and dread being taken to the pool. It’s rare to find a child who doesn’t love the pool but they need to build their confidence at their own pace.

It’s probably teasing, but bordering on bullying

Sorry, missed saying, I didn't take his privileges away. I'm his Nannie. His parents took privileges away. He was screaming for me n had to step away to let parents do there job.
I have said that splashing was out of order but have been told it was only splashing and DGS needs to learn to control his emotions. I don't agree.

Lots of concerns here but principally about a grown man ignoring the feelings and welfare of his grandson.
It’s not almost like bullying -it IS bullying .
And it’s not the grandson who needs to “lose his privileges “ - although this too sounds draconian and straight out of some Victorian handbook of parenting.
Wrong on so many levels.

Have you simply tried stopping splashing him in the face? Grandpa is creating this issue. So stop it.

I hate water in my face. I would have been pissed the first time and livid the second.

I am aghast that you took his privilege away after his Grandfather bullied him.