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Competing priorities

(28 Posts)
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NotSpaghetti Tue 22-Jul-25 11:50:52

This is her choice.

I can see you have been both a big help and have enjoyed your time as a grandmother to her baby but I would not be moving house!
You have a daughter who lives near you. Do you not see her too?
What if she had children?
What if your husband needed help or you were unable to travel/were ill?

I think your daughter needs to get childcare in order locally.
OR she is the one needing to move house!

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Allira Tue 22-Jul-25 11:50:09

This might sound tough, but it's her choice and she will have to make arrangements for childcare if she wishes to have a second child as a single mother.

I think childcare facilities are fairly good in Australia, from what I know of them, although that's from a few years ago when DGC was little.

Is it possible for your DD to relocate nearer to you, so that you can help her if you feel able to? Or is her job dependent on her present location?

Much as you want to see your DGC and help, I think this is expecting too much.

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Queenslandnana Tue 22-Jul-25 11:34:17

I am in an unusual situation. I am in Australia and my 40 yr old daughter lives a 2 hour flight away. She is single but chose to have a baby by IVF 2 years ago. I absolutely love my granddaughter and have been supporting her from a distance. I fly to see her once every six weeks for a week or so and also babysit when my daughter travels for work (including overseas). I am married to my daughter’s stepfather and have another daughter who lives in the same city as us. I retired 3 years ago and fortunately am in good health and have an online business which keeps me busy. My daughter now plans to have another child in the near future and I am feeling very pressured to move closer to her so I can help out more. I would be happy to offer more support but can’t really justify having properties in both cities. And neither my husband nor other daughter want to relocate. Currently I stay at my daughter’s house when I visit .. this will be a lot harder when the second baby arrives. I feel guilty I can’t help out more and am worried about her single parenting 2 little ones and having a demanding job but also understand my husband who has health issues and doesn’t want to move somewhere much colder. Not sure how long I can keep up such regular visits financially and practically

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