Competitive gran? 4yr old torn/coerced

It’s not your fault, so I don’t know why people are getting annoyed. No-one can choose who a baby likes most (except the baby, of course!). My granddaughter was exactly the same when she was little and all you can do is gently guide yours to her parents when she singles you out and she’s wanted elsewhere.
You and she have clearly got a special bond. I have it with my granddaughter too. She is 23 now with a baby of her own but still visits as often as she can, and she says I’m her best friend. I feel blessed that we are so close.
Be thankful, and if others don’t like it, tough!

You are at the other GM house.

Personally I would be putting my foot down a bit with the GD. Assuming the others in the house are treating her well.
Tell her you can tell stories etc when she is at your house.

You have other relationships going on here, besides your GD.

Why are you still in bed when everyone is downstairs for breakfast 🤔

It's lovely that the other grandparents invited you to stay, even though you don't seem very keen on them.
Just tell your granddaughter that you're getting dressed so go downstairs for breakfast and you'll be down shortly.

Ps did you ever move house? If so, did it go well?

Sounds like you enjoy being the ‘favourite’ gran, well, we all like to be popular, don’t we?

Not very nice for the other GP’s though, especially in their own home.

Perhaps be kind, encourage GD to bond more with them whilst there.

I would tell her you're busy,
"Why not ask xyz"
As someone said upthread you have to back off a bit here as you are in someone else's home.

And what does this title mean please?
Competitive gran? 4yr old torn/coerced

Maybe take yourself out shopping/lunch for the day, you're obviously the distraction and they'd all probably appreciate your thoughtfulness

And what does this title mean please?
Competitive gran? 4yr old torn/coerced

Very strange.

I think your DIL's parents are very kind to invite you to stay, hope they don't know you're posting about them in this way on Gransnet. Are you sure other Gran is not a member? Thst could prove embarrassing.

The others may be less conscious of it than you are.

Sounds to me like someone who protesteth too much.
Are you sure you’re not enjoying this?
If I were the other gran I wouldn’t be inviting you back!

My advice is to encourage our GD to play with and have stories read by her other GP's. TBH you don't come across as embarrassed more like you're enjoying being your GD's centre of attention.

You could solve the immediate problem, but getting up at the same time as the other grandmother.

Surely, it is only manners to eat meals at the time it suits your host to make them?

Or if for some health reason you cannot get up early, sent your grand-daughter down to the other adults, or get one of them to fetch her.

Surely, it is only manners to eat meals at the time it suits your host to make them?
Absolutely!

Or if for some health reason you cannot get up early, sent your grand-daughter down to the other adults, or get one of them to fetch her.
Yes, easy enough to say that you need another half hour's snooze or were going to have a shower.

Kids do have their favourites - it can all change in a few months so don't be smug about it - agree with others - just tell her to go downstairs as its breakfast time.

Not clear to me why you are with other GP during their time with their granddaughter? Perhaps decline any further invitations?

How kind of the other GM to invite you.
I think the title of your post is rather provoking - the word ‘coerced’ is so unnecessary.

Sorry but I do not like your post.I do not like your attitude towards your daughter's in-laws.

What would be a nice thing for you to do would be to involve the other GM in games with your GD. Say to your GD let’s ask Grandma xx to play this game with us, she’s looking a little bit lonely. If you can get the other GM to join in it might teach her to be a bit more child centred and then perhaps she will find it easier to interact with your GD. I understand that you might feel a bit jealous of the other GM, even if you don’t admit it even to yourself, but don’t be. Your GD loves you and nothing is going to change that but you will be doing her a favour if you encourage her to spread her love a bit further.

Grand - parenting isn’t a competition, it’s a privilege and scoring points off another one isn’t an attractive trait.

Do encourage the GC to involve other GP with your activities together, she is only young and very impressionable, how she is nurtured now will influence how she matures

Norah

Not clear to me why you are with other GP during their time with their granddaughter? Perhaps decline any further invitations?

Me neither.

I have a very close relationship with my GD but when other GPs are there I leave them to it, they live some distance away so am happy to give them as much quality time as they need and wait my turn. My daughter says my GD doesn’t have as close a relationship with them but I assure her that will change as she grows older and can go and stay with them, and I really hope that happens because she needs a good relationship with both sets of GPs.
I think you are secretly glad that you are the favourite but that isn’t good for your GD, I would encourage her to get along with them by absenting myself or suggesting to my GD that her other granny is really good at telling stories as well etc.
And get up for breakfast, chivvying your GD along to go down for breakfast with you.

I have no words😱

You posted regarding your reluctance to relocate in September last year.

You received lots of good advice but didn’t have the courtesy to respond.

I feel this thread is going the same way.

Come back please mrsbirdy?