Is it too much to babysit 3yr old and 2 month old

Babysitting for long periods on your own is not a good idea.

Is there a friend who could share it with you?

2 of us had DGD1 overnight while the DP were at a wedding. She was 10 months old. I thought it would be a doddle. After all we had 4 grown up children.

It was awful. She woke vomiting and after several changes, cuddles and water we tried to phone her DP. Noone could hear the phone at the venue. Anyway she ended up in A&E and was quite seriously ill. It was a nightmare.

Just a cautionary tale. She's 19 now and away at uni.

The baby may be fine but the 3 yr old could be unsettled.

My DGC are a bit older but I’d rather look after babies than toddlers or pre-school age! They’re lighter to carry, and stay where you’ve put them!

I think you should take someone with you. Also have phone numbers of anyone who lives nearby that you could ring in an emergency.

Thanks everyone. I do think 2 months is too young to be left for so long, even though it’s easier because she is light to carry. I did look after her last week while my daughter got some sleep. About 4 hours, fed her , changed her. But my daughter was only upstairs, and my other granddaughter was at nursery. I am seeing my other daughter tomorrow and will ask her if she can help.

2 months is very young to be left for that amount of time . Is your dd breastfeeding?
When mine were that age , my dh and I would take turns , so that one of us was with the baby . And I was only out a few hours as I was breastfeeding and couldn’t pump.

You are clearly not happy about this. You don't need to justify your position or apologise. The baby will still only be just over three months old and I don't think it is fair to ask you if you don't feel you can do it.

You may be used to looking after your GD by herself but seven hours with a tiny baby as well, especially as you are not 100% fit, is too big an ask for you to tackle on your own.

It might be feasible if you can have someone with you even if it is not for the full seven hours but you should not feel that you have no alternative but to agree.

Letthefunbegin

Thank you, yes I expect I will do it, I have never said no. I am more worried about if something happened with the little one. But probably over stressing.

A two month old baby will sleep a lot, and you’re used to looking after the older child.
Do it and see how it goes, if it’s too much for you then you can tell your DD and not do it again.

Actually I find babies easier to take care of than young children.

I fully understand why you have doubts. A 3 year old needs constant watching (you will needs eyes in the back of your head!! ) this coupled with a small baby is not a good mix. The baby will need your time too! Can you suggest to your DD that you can only safely manage one of the children . Ask her to to find another person to take one child. You have your doubts so that is telling you something! Do not take on more than you know you can manage. You are also able to just say " no "!!! Having one child may be possible but if you have both it will be emotionally and physically taxing. You have said you don't think you are up to it, so follow your instincts.
Do not feel obliged to do this, you already gave your GD each week. These are your DDs children and her responsibly , this is her problem not yours . DD is expecting too much , please either say no or decide to have one of her children. Imagine changing or feeding the baby and the 3 year old disappears from your sight, she may be safe but what if she is not!? It's too much,
tell your DD. Good luck.

You say they will be out for about seven hours. If your daughter is breastfeeding, she will be very full and uncomfortable after that long.

I think it’s too long to leave such a young baby.

If you do not think you can manage then you must say 'no' and explain to your daughter. Aging is such a problem, some age faster than others, some have problems like arthritis, but are otherwise doing fine - and some seem ageless. So tell your daughter, explain your problems. I am sure she will understand..

The important thing is, the poster does not feel confident dealing with a three year old and a newborn for seven hours, and I don't blame her. Doesn't sound as though mother will be close by, either.
Nappy changes, feeds, naps and a three year old to occupy.
Mother should go for lunch OR drinks OR the escape room (?) not all three.

I would take a 2 month old out with me to be honest.

I was treated to an Escape Room last year. It lasts an hour max and is great fun. Very safe space, although cramped, and fire regs mean you’re not actually locked in and can get out at any time. So wondering if the baby could be popped into a front carrier for the duration? And pram for brunch? Or sit out the Escape Room and join in the rest? Just a thought, but I couldn’t leave a baby for that long.

Exactly, Lovemylife.

Letthefunbegin

Thanks everyone. I do think 2 months is too young to be left for so long, even though it’s easier because she is light to carry. I did look after her last week while my daughter got some sleep. About 4 hours, fed her , changed her. But my daughter was only upstairs, and my other granddaughter was at nursery. I am seeing my other daughter tomorrow and will ask her if she can help.

I'm confused. It's not up to you to make arrangements. It's the job of the parents. Just say you cannot do it as it's too much and they can organise something. They are full grown adults and can manage their own babysitting needs.

I would find a 2 month old far easier than a 3 year old...

Lovemylife

I was treated to an Escape Room last year. It lasts an hour max and is great fun. Very safe space, although cramped, and fire regs mean you’re not actually locked in and can get out at any time. So wondering if the baby could be popped into a front carrier for the duration? And pram for brunch? Or sit out the Escape Room and join in the rest? Just a thought, but I couldn’t leave a baby for that long.

But lots of people are happy to leave young babies... its not 'wrong'

Louisa1523, I didn’t say it was wrong! Just that I couldn’t do it.
The OP says she’s concerned about managing to look after the baby as well as her GD, so was simply trying to come up with alternative ideas.

Yes. I am 61 and would never have asked my parents never mind a singular parent to babysit for this length of time. Maybe with support from another family member. You have done your child rearing - time for your children to do theirs!

I’m 70 and would only do it at their house, not mine, and if there was a cot and changing mat downstairs. (I wouldn’t be confident carrying the baby up and down stairs.)

Im at exactly the same point as you. Same age and with arthritis. My grandson is 3 and the second is 3 months. If she asked me, which she wouldn't as baby is breast feeding, I would decline. It would be too much. In fact I only started caring for the first one a day a week, after her maternity leave had finished. I think 2 months is too young. Also if the baby is a crier and wants mum, it will become very stressful and with a 3 year old to entertain.
Its a tricky one as they deserve a break and we hate to say no, but we also have to consider our wellbeing too.

I think you should have a practice first, just with the baby, for say 3 hours. You are completely used to caring for your 3 yr old granddaughter, so know you can happily care for her but the 2 month old is a new addition! See how that goes, what it actually involves and consider if that care can be added to what you usually do with your gd. I think you will be fine, because you are an experienced grandmother who is already caring for a whole day for a lively and lovely gd. Before the day, if you go ahead, have everything planned and prepped ready. Your daughter will obviously be responsible for giving you the baby's bottles & requisites, but you can prepare your granddaughter's meals, snacks, drinks & activities for the day. A 2 month old will (should) spend most of their time sleeping, even if they are a little cranky because they are not with mum, it will pass! I think you will cope with this and be able to look back on the day with a lovely reminder of the love you have for your daughter and grandchildren.

Baggs

I would do it in an emergency but not otherwise.

What is it with mums wanting to leaving tiny babies for that long? Seems odd when so many talk about how important bonding is.

What is an Escape Room, by the way?

I agree with you about leaving young babies. Far too young at that age to be left for seven hours. Very vulnerable and needy.

Would take priority if it was my child.

It’s a big ask and whilst I’m sure you’d manage it if you had to, maybe ask your daughter to make it a bit easier…like…having things to hand….havjng the baby sleep downstairs ….is the older child toilet trained and is there a toilet downstairs…bringing any toys downstairs etc etc. then I think I’d have my other daughter come round too, to share the load. Perhaps explain all of this and see if she’s still asking you. It’s a bit selfish really when they probably could’ve had a shorter outing and I hope they appreciate it!