Grandchildren in their twenties

I have 5 DGC . The youngest is 14 at the end of December, and gets presents up to £100 . Two DGS are 19 , and two DGD are 20. They all get £100. Next year youngest DGD will get money like the rest of them as she has a pony and there is always something equestrian to spend her money on . I’ll continue to give them money as long as I can afford . Two of my DGC live two hours away and I only see them a few times a year but despite that I know they love me as much as I love them . The rest of them I see a lot .

monami

just imagine if the 3 wise men had taken money instead of gifts, and i bet you get old peoples slippers in return for your generous gifts whilst their mates get fancy goods. christmas has lost its meaning

Or brought a fluffy camel, a lucky sixpence and some zinc and caster oil cream.

monami

just imagine if the 3 wise men had taken money instead of gifts, and i bet you get old peoples slippers in return for your generous gifts whilst their mates get fancy goods. christmas has lost its meaning

Not in this house monami 🎁
Agree BlueBelle ✅

Smaller gifts at Christmas, bigger ones at birthdays, for all ages and stages.

We tend to give presents until the young adults are out at work.

My 7 range from 19 to 8. It'll be money, not a vast amount, to spend in the sales or for driving lessons for the older ones. Maybe a tiny gift as well. The younger ones still get something to open on Christmas day. I'm knitting a jumper for the 10yr old.

I will always give my children gifts or money for birthdays and Christmas, I prefer to surprise with gifts but its not practical when you are out of touch with what they like, so it will be a gift plus money as usual..

Quite BlueBelle

My children and grandchildren all get the same amount birthdays and Christmas whether it’s presents or money I can’t get my head around it being any different If they are earning £10 or £1000 a week makes no difference I love them the same and treat them the same and will till I die.
I dont have a lot I can’t buy them apartments or cars but I can treat them all as equals whether I see them every day or hardly ever they are still my flesh and blood and still loved

I'm absolutely 💯 percent with Bluebelle. I can't understand the notion of not giving anything to your own child for Christmas. I love them as I have always done and couldn't think of prioritising grandchildren over my own children.

I give a small present to open, then cash in a card for them to choose

My 7 are aged between 14 and 27 they all get cash for Christmas, they get to a certain age and they tend to prefer cash, unless of course your budget runs to cars and suchlike.

My GC are aged between one and 21. They all have the same budget for presents for birthdays or Christmas. Some might get money some get toys but all to same value within a few pounds.

Caleo

I don't know what I should do. Three oldest grandchilren are in their 30s, well established in well paying jobs and much better off than I. They never contact me.
The youngest grandchild is mid 20s is highly qualified graduate, and is struggling to get employment. This is the only grandchild who keeps in touch with me.

When they are young I think they should be treated equally but once grown up I'd be very much inclined to bear in mind how they treat you, especially if they are not siblings and are less likely to compare. Also be aware of their cicumstances. Both my children keep in touch with their elderly grandma even though they live at opposite ends of the country. My DD rings her regularly and both visit her when they are able to be in the vicinity. They see her more often than one of her sons who lives abroad and didn't even visit her the last time she was in the UK. She is currently looking into moving nearer my ex and if she does I'm sure my adult children will visit her more as they will visit their dad. I think it's very sad that GC often don't keep in touch with GPs when they are grown up and I'm glad my kids do. I hope I'll be as lucky with mine if I live long enough. I certainly kept in touch with my GP when I visited my mum as they lived fairly near her, although I lived 200 miles away.

I don't know what I should do. Three oldest grandchilren are in their 30s, well established in well paying jobs and much better off than I. They never contact me.
The youngest grandchild is mid 20s is highly qualified graduate, and is struggling to get employment. This is the only grandchild who keeps in touch with me.

just imagine if the 3 wise men had taken money instead of gifts, and i bet you get old peoples slippers in return for your generous gifts whilst their mates get fancy goods. christmas has lost its meaning

We have secret Secret santa this deals with the older grandchildren

I have no understanding of stopping at a certain age they are still my same children and grandchildren whatever age they are I still give my children money or presents from their list they re still my children they don’t stop being my children and grandchildren when they are 18 that’s just sounds so alien to me All my children and all my grandchildren earn far more than me but that’s not the point at all

Don’t you buy anyone over 18 anything ??

I think as teenagers they appreciate money so they can use it how they want. The amount would be the equivalent of an actual item you’d give them. But once they’re adults and earning for themselves I wouldn’t give them anything. ( unless they’re genuinely struggling).

Three grandsons. Two aged 18 and 20, they always get money by bank transfer.

The youngest, aged 10 always has a present chosen by d d who knows what he would like. So much easier for me.

My family always stopped giving presents at age 18 or 21 so the last present I received from my GP was at age 21. I still treasure it! My GC are still young but I expect I'll do the same. I save money for them in a kids bank account and I would intend for them to be given it at age 18 or at graduation if they go to university, if I'm still around then. At the moment I consult with the parents about gifts and as they get older that will be more necessary I'm sure. Once they are teenagers it will probably be cash. My mum gave us cash to spend on the children so we could get what they wanted and she saved money for my children too. They received their bank accounts when she died. Both were students at the time and my DD used hers to buy her first car when she graduated. My son left his in National savings and used it later when studying for his PhD.

My eldest is 23 and earns good money, but all over the world, so he gets a little money, and if he is home, a small under the tree gift.

I felt that 18 was the cut off, but I did not see much of him growing up as his parents and grandparents did not celebrate Christmas and he was separated from my son. Also the other 3 are much younger, but last year 2nd dgs asked for money towards a much bigger item - he will get money this year.

DH is somewhat mean about money, so they have got used to smaller gifts than other grandparents give (mind you they offer holidays, bikes, games consoles etc)

I give all mine cash and a small personal present, and will continue to do so. I’d have no idea what to buy, so they can do it themselves!

At the request of our daughter in law who has a large family we stopped buying major Christmas gifts for adults several years ago. We do rebel a bit in that each adult has a small treat food item.

In consultation with their parents we’ve agreed the same for the grandchildren. Once they are adult and working full time a token gift only. It will be a while as one is mid way through the first university year, another has just begun college and the third is not yet a teenager.

I found it odd at first but now it’s settled in me life is certainly easier and it means they get a more substantial gift for a birthday.

Incidentally Mr C and I no longer buy each other substantial gifts. A £10 limit for something to open on the day and a day out in December or January which is our gift to each other.

Each family has different traditions. They evolve as ours have. As long as everyone is happy that’s fine by me.

Well said Bluebelle - my GD was here earlier. She is 22 and has just started her first job and probably has more income than I have. I told her that and she smiled her usual sweet smile and I said “Nan will still give you the same amount as I’ve always done “
I have 6 GC , youngest being 7years old. They all get the same -
the little lads will get a couple of toys and some spending money for their winter holiday. The little girls are spending most of their money on clothes 😂

P.S. started this yesterday and got distracted