Please say no before you collapse with health issues .
It's slave labour .
They pay your health insurance and expect you to work long days and now into the weekend.
Sit down and work out how much per hour you're getting !
Child caring is one thing .
House cleaning another.
And all this checking up on you .
Is totally unacceptable.
It's very hard when you love your grandkids and are hopeless at saying no .
Give yourself a break .
I could hardly believe what I was reading! It’s no wonder you are feeling being taken advantage of…because you most definitely are!
As you say. time to grow a backbone, overdue for your daughter and SIL to find one whole lot more appreciation and gratitude and also time for you to set boundaries.
You are either trusted to care for this little one or not. I would find being on camera simply dreadful. I understand the parents concerns, but they really are taking the p as Bluebell says, they truly are!! Nothing changes, if nothing changes.
THANK YOU! I needed validation from other grandparents. After I wrote the post I meant to add that it really is taking away from my other kids too. They are all grown, but I do have good relationships with them, and spend time with my sons regularly with dog walks and lunches. And my mother used to pass me off to any of her sisters or mother who would take me so she could party - and even as a wee one I could sense a resentment in my aunts and grandma, and that is the LAST thing I want my grandson to feel from me. I meant to add that at the start, before the baby was born, I was told that it was only 8-4, her husband would have a flexible schedule, be home right away, and if I ever felt sick or needed a break he could come home. Total opposite now. Last week I was told if I wanted a day off or a vacation I would have to give them two months notice and they would consider it. AND...her husband is a "boss" at work and I think he tries to make me feel like an employee, or have that dynamic. I have a doctors appointment this Thursday afternoon (daughter doesn't work Thursday afternoons), but she wanted me to come back after my appointment so she could go to the gym. My appointment isn't fun and I want to go home and rest afterwards. Things are going to have to change, and I'm going to have to grow a back bone. With your advice and support on this forum, it is really helping already. I want to find a solution that will be fair for everyone, flexible and most important of all, have wee one's care front and center!
This is madness!!!!
Why did they have a child if they do all they can not care for him.
Just say NO
Absolutely stop this nonsense! Your daughter is a selfish madam and needs to be told a few home truths. It sounds as though you don’t get quality time with the rest of the family, only the little one anyway, so what have you got to lose by saying ‘no’? She won’t stop you seeing your grandson because she would be lost without your help. Give it to her straight. You are too ill to continue in this way, and things are going to have to change big-time. If you become so ill that you can’t babysit for a very long time, where will she be then?
Be strong. Show this entitled daughter of yours what the real world is like. Oh, and put your charges up!!
Sorry but I find this totally unacceptable I wouldn’t be scrutinised as you are if they trusted me so little they could pay top whack and get a full time nanny
Absolutely no way would I be on camera all day watching me like a criminal She leaves you a list of housework you have to do , she’s a cheeky mare
If you don’t want to be truthful and tackle her fully, then tell them you’re too ill to do these hours
She is taking the pee completely
Greetings! I need advice. I'm a month into nannying our first grandson, he is 3 months old, our daughter and son-in-law little boy. I signed up for it, said I would do it, and love him to pieces. No clue how exhausting it would be. I clean and do laundry for them too, and she will leave me a list of things that need to be done. I start at 7:30am, end at the minimum 6:30pm. They are appreciative, pay my monthly health insurance at $250 a month, and at least my daughter expresses thanks, the son-in-law, is very judgmental and just plain odd, but maybe he has issues since his mom is 3 hours away and is distant emotionally as well. Ok, I'm on a nanny cam while I babysit, watched the entire time. She will take screenshots and send them to the entire family. And, just as soon as I get baby boy to sleep I hear "HI, I want to see him!". So, then he is awake, and the day goes on and on like this. No schedule or break because of the random check-ins. And she is constantly on the cam at work, she checked if my husband tested the temperature of the milk on his wrist while I was at a doctor's appointment, so it makes me feel like she thinks we have no clue what we are doing. I just feel very scrutinized. We have four grown adult children who all survived our child rearing, so it is kind of insulting. We love children and all that it entails. It was always kind of a joke that I was a baby whisperer. If there was one thing I could do it was take care of a baby. No, I'm not up on all the latest gadgets, etc. But you get one-on-one care with hugs and kisses and a sense of responsibility that you won't get if you outsource. That said, she sent me a message with a screen shot of a forum conversation of how much a sitter costs, telling me, "see how much money you save us!". I felt like, ok...glad I save you money, too bad I'm not up to your standards, at least I'm better than having to pay out. I couldn't figure out the straps on the car seat once, and oh the eye rolling. They wanted me to go to their church with them, he comes from a (for show) religious family, and is all into proper formality, so I did once, they said I could go again but they would have to ask permission from the pastor (?). So, I just feel so awkward and less-than. I've been sitting overnight when he travels, works late, etc. Sitting for Christmas parties, after work business dinners, and now was asked at 9pm last night if I could sit again today, on weekend, so he could go watch football with his buddies, and my daughter could work. My main concern is that I'm so exhausted (I've had a migraine since Friday, and they know it, I missed my son's 40th birthday party last night, but they still ask for me to sit), but I'm so exhausted in general that I don't enjoy my grandson, which is why I signed up for this, to spend the time with him, that I didn't with my own kids. But I didn't say 24/7, it is kind of ruining it. I thought that it would be easier if he lived here and they just pick him up once in a while! I don't want to get so burned out that I don't enjoy him, as I won't get these years back, but I feel they are taking advantage of me. I've never been good at saying no, and I think they know that, and my daughter will push to get as far as she can. I'm going to ask they he comes to my house two days a week so at least I can catch up on things at home and not be on camera while I eat my lunch. I know the eyes will roll. Thanks for letting me vent. I have no one to talk to, my husband is a blabbermouth, and pretty clueless anyway. I want to enjoy these years, and have my grandson remember me as the one who took care of him, but quite frankly, I'm worried I'll fall asleep driving some days. I'm sorry for the long vent, but it is a weight off my shoulders to hopefully get some advice. Any advice would be appreciated. Thank you!
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