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Grandparenting

When grandchildren grow up

(70 Posts)
fancyflowers Wed 22-Apr-26 09:38:56

Since she was a baby, our granddaughter has come to our house every week. She has her tea, we bake, I read to her and we play games.

However, she is now 12 ( a 'young 12) and at her secondary school.

I know I can't carry on the present formula for much longer as she grows up but I still want to see her regularly.

My question is, what do other grannies do with their teenage grandchildren when they visit?

Astitchintime Wed 22-Apr-26 13:35:47

Mine still love to bake…….and also give me a makeover, hair and makeup…….nothing is off limits - apart from back combing and anything permanent. We have great fun

tanith Wed 22-Apr-26 13:48:19

My 8 Grandchildren range between 38 and 10. 3 have children of their own they are all at different stages any my sons 2 live abroad i see them once a year. The others live closeby but its usually a meal out and if they visit we catch up on all their news its lovely. Then there are 9 Great Grands who visit and have the odd sleepovers, they love the nearby park and we do lego and drawing. Im not short of visots and i love it.

emmasnan Wed 22-Apr-26 13:51:26

I used to do lots of crafts with my granddaughter.
Sewing, painting, drawing etc. I'm not especially talented but still enjoyed giving it a go.
Even now that she's 21 she will still come over before Christmas for an afternoon of Christmas crafts.
We now watch a favourite tv programme together, catch up on news.

fancyflowers Wed 22-Apr-26 13:54:19

Kate1949

We only have one grandchild. She is 25. She asked us to join her and her lovely boyfriend for a few days in Spain. We have just come back. We were thrilled to be asked. We had a fantastic time.

Wow, that sounds great!

Kate1949 Wed 22-Apr-26 14:51:31

fancyflowers It certainly was. We are very lucky with her and the added bonus that she speaks fluent Spanish! smile

TwiceAsNice Wed 22-Apr-26 15:02:40

I have twin granddaughters who will be 17 in a few weeks time. I’m lucky that I live with them and my two daughters and have done since they were 9.

I do some of the school runs . We have lovely chats in the car sometimes/ sometimes it’s near silence if a bad day, I go with the flow. The one does drama and singing and I go to see her school performances, she is doing drama for A level. The other one is quieter and is a very good artist which I praise her for. They are both good at maths and it’s the only A level they are both doing the same. (I am dreadful at maths!)

We go on holiday together every year too although they go on other holidays without me, which is fine.
It’s lovely to be so involved in their lives and I know I’m very lucky.

Gran22boys Wed 22-Apr-26 16:59:20

Share their interests. I’ve learned so much about football that I now enjoy it. I remember my grandson, when he was a little boy, saying that grandparents are like spare parents. I loved that and think it’s true. They are busier than we are but you will never lose them. Things change and evolve.

M0nica Wed 22-Apr-26 18:42:09

As we live 150 miles away, visits are in fits and starts. We do things with them that they enjoy. I know that sounds a bit vague, but every teenager is different, what interests my DGC will bore other people's DGC witless and vice versa.

Next time DGS comes down we will be taking him to an auction, after visiting to view on viewing day, going to an antiiue fair. We used to run a small antiue stall and are always off to auctions and he is really intersted, but his parents aren't. When DGD comes we will meet up with her aunt and we will find something textile orientated to visit.

Chardy Thu 23-Apr-26 11:58:49

My theory is to do things with them not covered by parents because they haven't the time
Eg Staying up late
Midnight feasts
Making a mess, paint, cutting stuff up, mucky crafts involving glue etc
Making a mess, cooking
Letting them share their interests with you eg taking you to football, to see a play they like, you read a book they really like or simultaneously read a book from their current favourite author. Also inc their favourite foods, fave fast foods, chain restaurants etc
Playing board games
Playing digital games together

Norah Thu 23-Apr-26 12:01:52

Holidays with grandparents seem to be memorable.

Grammaretto Thu 23-Apr-26 12:26:26

If you live in a nice place invite them for a holiday or perhaps take them out somewhere.

When DGD was 13? She and I went on a day out to watch the puffins on the Isle of May. I drove to Anstruther and she was in charge of directions. It was a great day out especially the speed boat!

This year she's 16 . We met at the gallery of Modern Art and I told her to choose something from their lovely shop . She chose a print and earrings. We also had lunch in the garden café there

Definitely these times aren't as often as when she was younger.

I see the little girls too when they are staying at their other GP . At Easter time we had a wonderful full on day of Lego, pottery, a music session at the library, cooking, foraging and the swing park. I was shattered!

My other 4 DGC are far away so I rarely see them on their own.
I like being fun granny.

Juniper1 Thu 23-Apr-26 13:53:34

Shopping!

Frenchgalinspain Thu 23-Apr-26 13:54:02

We have little Anthony who shall be 1 year old in August and his older sister Carolina in Switzerland.

Then there is Ashleigh who is 6 years old and Daniel who is 4 years old in Amsterdam.

So they all come to visit during the summer and stay with us so their parents can travel about the coasts and islands.

Of course, they bring their 4 legged little ones and so Edmond, Pierre & Philippe get all excited to see their 4 legged cousins.

We take them to the zoo, the book shops, Retiro Park, horseback riding and to a football game at Santiago Bernabeú ..

It is good to see them and we enjoy very much.

Grandmotherto8 Thu 23-Apr-26 13:56:19

Baking is a really good way to maintain contact and have fun. I bought my granddaughters a beautiful hardback notebook and we write the recipes we cook in the book. We try to take photos of each bake too, then print off when we have a few and put them in the book. We do cakes, biscuits but as they got older also their favourite meals.

Nanny27 Thu 23-Apr-26 14:01:31

You talk to the side of their head while they stare at their phones and occasionally grunt in response. 🤣🤣

ArthurAskey Thu 23-Apr-26 14:33:40

They might be a large part of your life but you need to accept that you are not as large a part of their life as they grow up. Same with children.

sparkle1234 Thu 23-Apr-26 14:38:47

I don't have any grandchildren .. yet , I live in hope but time is marching on and the years are passing . I was just thinking this morning I won't be around to see great grandchildren . I'd love a grandchild to build a close bond with . My parents weren't particularly bothered and neither were my husbands . They loved the children in their own waybut made little effort . I always vowed that I would give 100% to any grandchildren I had .
I think as she gets older she mayprobably drift away for a bit just as with parents but later she will be back because those memories of baking together and the books and games you've shared will stay with her in her happy thoughts . You've left her a lovely legacy and you never know , she may learn to drive and take you out for the day and create more memories .

Essexgirl145 Thu 23-Apr-26 14:50:26

You don't do anything Fancyflowers they are the ones that set the pace, you just have to go along with it.

handbaghoarder Thu 23-Apr-26 14:51:47

Time moves on and relationships evolve accordingly and quite naturally. We just have to go with it My impish toddler grandson who lived in Thailand but visited every Christmas and summer holiday for seaside trips. Zoos, picnics etc is now 16. Due to my sons death he and his mum now live with us. He is taking GCSEs at same school his dad attended. I am his taxi driver to rugby training and matches and last year he came to 2 Bruce Springsteen gigs with us. Not what I anticipated all those years ago but both he and his brother (at Surrey uni) are here, happy and very loved. My eldest GD lives in same village and 3 young teen GDs live 3 hour drive away Thank heavens for technology ❤️❤️

Peaseblossom Thu 23-Apr-26 15:16:25

Those of you who have quite a few grandchildren are extremely lucky. I only have two aged 11 and 4. My younger daughter doesn't want children. I had three children, so would have thought I'd have quite a few grandchildren, but sadly my dear son died age 6 in 1980 and my younger daughter doesn't want children, so I only have two. I am lucky to have them, because my daughter went through early menopause and had to have IVF treatment, which didn't work, and in the end her sister was extremely kind and donated her eggs, so that is why I now have my four-year-old grandson. I am grateful for them and love them both dearly. I pick my grandson up from preschool twice a week.

jakuss Thu 23-Apr-26 15:29:20

Once
They become a teenager you wont se them again, off with their mates, they will forget you ever existed

M0nica Thu 23-Apr-26 15:43:30

jakuss

Once
They become a teenager you wont se them again, off with their mates, they will forget you ever existed

Ours are in their late teens and we are still part of their lives. They are both coming to stay after the end of term. Their own voluntary decisions

DamaskRose Thu 23-Apr-26 15:49:42

DGD is 14 and DGS is 13, their parents are brother and sister. We see DGD at least twice a week and she sometimes cooks for us now. We chat, play a game, watch telly or she might help with a job in the garden or the house. I do miss the days when she would come running out of school shouting my name with her arms spread out for a hug but we know we are so very lucky to have her still wanting to spend time with us. DGS is five hours away so we only see him a few times a year and I wish more than anything that we could see him more. But I think we still have a special relationship with him, it’s just different. We watch him play rugby, sometimes watch him gaming and just chat. Just make the most of every minute OP and don’t listen to people who tell you that once they’re teenagers you’ll never see them again, just read the posts on here!

Gran22boys Thu 23-Apr-26 16:04:58

jakuss

Once
They become a teenager you wont se them again, off with their mates, they will forget you ever existed

This could happen but it’s a good idea to contact them when there’s some news they might be interested in. Also invite them out, or to your house, for food. Food normally works.

Nanny27 Thu 23-Apr-26 16:12:19

jakuss

Once
They become a teenager you wont se them again, off with their mates, they will forget you ever existed

Our 16 year old dgd has begun to come and stay for the occasional weekend. She brings a friend, they do the 3 hour train journey and we collect them from the station. They enjoy shopping followed by mocktails and lunch or dinner in town. We love having them.