Empty nest grandparents

Wrong thread, sorry!!

My GC are aged between 2 and 22 so it's like rinse and repeat. We are particularly close to eldest as he's more like a son than a GC and closer in age to our youngest than our eldest is. The trouble when you have 8 is how much it costs Christmas is expensive with several birthdays in December and January adding to the bill.

We looked after our grandson two days a week and found it really sad and hard once he started school. But we've got a wonderful bond with him - we see plenty of him in the holidays and he often asks to come over for sleepovers.

He remembers clearly lots of the things we used to do and asks to see some of the videos from that time. We also have our 'in' jokes too.

Luckily I feel we still play our part in his development with days out to museums, art galleries, and other fun activities. He is an avid reader and he got used to going to the library for activities and books from babyhood.

With grandchildren, you get out what you put in - so while it's hard once the day to day caring stops, you will always have a close relationship with him. For us, it's been several years now, we're well into the next stage. You do adjust and will be glad to see them thriving at school with their friends and other activities.

I guess also any grandparent is lucky to live near enough to do day to day care. We actually moved to be nearer to our daughter and it has been the best thing ever.

Can't say I feel particularly bereft. Children grow up, things change, and that's how it should be.

Look on the positive side and think about all the things he will be to tell you about as he starts his school journey and the projects, fancy dress, world book day, that you can help with. You’ll soon be saving old magazines, loo roll inners, plastic bottle tops……..oh what a joy!

I have looked after both Grandchildren either 3 or 4 days a week.
My Grandson is now 6 and in school, his sister starts in September.
I feel I'm going to be lost too, we did something everyday and the people we met at plygroups etc became my social life really!
We will still pick up 4 days a week, but my days will be very different.

Hello!
I'm feeling exactly the same. My five year old grandson is starting school I September. His parents have split up and my son moved back home. Therefore, my gorgeous grandson stays at mine for half the week. He has autism so he has needed a lot of input. He's going to a SEN school. I adore the time we spend together and we are very close. Although we've had that extra year with him, I'm going to miss him when he starts school. He will be my only grandchild so I've made the most of every second with him.

My five grandchildren spent a fair bit of time with me, sometimes all of them together. The youngest is now thirteen, and very independent, so childcare is over now. I confess to being envious when I see children out and about with grandparents. You learn to do other things for them
Eg finding things relating to their hobbies and interests, taking them, individually, out for lunch. I have hundreds of photos of their time spent with myself and late DH, and they all have albums with these pictures. I hope they’ll enjoy these memories in the future. I’m currently supplying one who is a student, and leaving home to go to a flat share, with a lot of the things he’ll need. We’re going shopping soon to get things he thinks he might need, that I’ve missed.

Not quite the same, but I used to look after my younger nephew (who was 21 on Saturday) for two weeks every summer from the time he was born up until he was 16 or so - although the later years were more chauffering him about than actually looking after him - in the school holidays to help out his parents. We are still pretty close now but I did miss it at first. Apart from the obvious things we used to do silly things like where does this road go especially if I driven past it many times and didn't know where it would end up.

I did also have my stepgrandchildren down to stay for a week or so for a few years, and I would go to theirs.

grannybuy me too. I've had to develop a keen interest in rugby (awful sport!) to keep my end up with the DGSs.

Bith GC have lived far from us. Did visit often and when they reached 3 years old we'd collect and take them away on a holuday. We tried to collect both during the summer and either took them away or just brought them to us. They both experienced their first flight with us. Fantastic times.

As Luckygirl says. Our elder two are 12 and 10 now and we still see them regularly, it is a wrench but the relationship is still strong it just evolves as it has to. We have another 2 little ones coming along now so we feel very blessed. I feel for my friends whose grandchildren are far away. Don’t be afraid I heard lots of how they won’t want to know you as they grow but honestly there is no sign of that happening.

Ah that’s so lovely. I know how you feel with grandchildren we get the best bits. What about spending more time with the other grandchildren now you’ve got more time on your hands maybe go and stay in a hotel near them and take them out for days out and get closer to them. 🌸

We’re in the same position and I was very emotional on what I thought was our last day just with our 4 year old DGS. But the week after I found out that because our DGD’s school broke up a week later than I thought, we actually had another day just with him. I felt very silly and funnily didn’t feel emotional on our real last day.
Our duties carry on for another 3 years because there is a baby brother. After being with them all for a few days I’m now worried that I’m too old to chase after a baby and carry him about.

NanKate

My two grandsons are now 15 and 13 and I miss dreadfully the times we looked after them when they were younger. They live 70+ miles from us and have busy lives which we understand is natural, but I grieve for the time we were with them.

We do have a family WhatsApp and so I do still feel part of their lives, such as when the eldest was in Sweden recently at a football tournament and he text me to see if I saw the video of his winning goal. I had already watched the video at least 5 times 😉

Last line is my fav ❤️🥰😍❤️

If you feel it is too much (babies grow so fast and get so heavy)…you must tell the Parents !
I speak from experience, I cannot physically do as much lifting as I used to. But still have fun with DGC doing puzzles, cooking, playing imaginatively, Park and Outings and am very close to all the DGC ❤️

I feel the same. Felt like school stole my little buddy. I now volunteer at the school listening to children read. Schools are crying out for caring adults. We still have fun days in the school holidays. Our relationships is still strong and she loves me coming into the school

You looked after your grandchildren for one day a week, I looked after the last 2 for 5 days a week, imagine how bereft I felt. They are 4.5 and 7 now. It is important to keep in touch with friends so that you still have them when the children start school and I became a friend of a park and go there every Tuesday to look after and water the plants. I also joined a walk in another park just to fill my days

The love we share with our children and grandchildren is Big and special. I wonder am I the only mum and grannie who has been delighted in all stages of development and increasing independence.
We loved our day caring for grandchildren and were equally happy to wave them off to primary early years.
I love the freedom now ours are older as much as I love being emergency grannie at times. I adore my children and grandchildren and I enjiy the time to live my older life

Jules2000 - this will be the start of a new era for you. Your routine will change but the relationship with your grandson won't and he certainly won't reach a stage where he won't want you anymore. You'll be picking him up from school, making friends with other parents/grandparents, watching him make friends, and there'll be little school events that you'll be going to such as special assemblies, concerts, gym shows, sports days etc. This is all very exciting. I did love that time with both of my grandchildren and have a store of wonderful memories. You will have those too.

If it’s any consolation

We looked after our elder grandson when he was younger and I had a wonderful relationship with him. I thought he’d naturally grow away from us as he got older but in fact, although he likes spending more time with his mates, he still likes going away with me for a couple of nights even though he’s now 16

I hope the relationship with our two younger grandchildren (his cousins) remains just as strong.
I’m blessed and I know it