In a Dilemma

May I ask why they live in your house?

The way I see your post is that your telling your sister is what broke the camel's back, it may seem small but it is not in your son and dil's eyes.
The reaction your son has now comes from issues ingrained in the past

"He also said that I was not a good mother and how can i be a good grandmother" - this is key

The birthday is the least of your problems - it is like worrying about the curtains when your house is on fire.

I would address the root of the issues with your son instead of concentrating on your grandson.

Gurms you have had issues with your family since you posted in 2023 and were advised then and subsequently to get some help. Did you do so?
I do hope they are now at least paying you rent, but it sounds like they still have no respect for you, isn’t it time they got their own place?

I think 2 months notice, so that they can find somewhere else to live might be the answer to this one.
How dare they make you stay in your room because you feel so uncomfortable in your own home?
If the house is too big for you, get some Estate Agents around and put it on the market.
Entitled or what!

In your background, they have been living with you for 5 years and always reporting issues with you.

They live in your house, don't pay rent, use their child as a blackmailing tool and make you so upset that you are confined in your room in your house?

This sounds like elder abuse.

I do what Oopsadaisy1 suggests.

JenniRen

They live in your house, don't pay rent, use their child as a blackmailing tool and make you so upset that you are confined in your room in your house?

This sounds like elder abuse.

I do what Oopsadaisy1 suggests.

Yes indeedy.......
You got it Oopsadaisy 👏😊

Why should she move out of her own house though ! .
If you give them notice you will never see your grandson again that’s for certain.
I do think you need to stand up for yourself and maybe get your sister on your side and tell them they are being unreasonable and treating you poorly
Do they pay rent ?

* We have not spoken since May and I have not seen my grandson although they live in my house. Any thoughts?

It's time for them to move out to a place of their own.

They have lived with me since they got married. I am a widow and my son feels that this house belongs to him as well although they do not contribute any bills or maintenance. I do understand that the current issue is not the actual issues but son is generally very difficult to talk to and he gets very angry if i want to discuss with him and generally he blames me for every wrong. I think the reason why we have problems is that he and his wife do not accept accountability for their own actions

It is true that I have been having ongoing issues with both my son and dil. I have approached them many times but they just ignore what i say. They do feel entitled and I am actually scared of them.

I think your grandsons birthday is the least of your problems.

Get some legal advice, Age Concern maybe able to help you.

The house is your house not your sons.

You are the victim of two manipulative bullies.

You have been through all this before, sought advice and done nothing.
Is there any point in giving you advice?

You need to get them out Gurms preferably before the baby is born so get legal advice and get the ball rolling. If you're scared, this is definitely elder abuse so please get help now.

Unless your son owns half of the house then no, it is not his, it is yours.

You do need advice, as Sago says, contact Age UK as a first step.

"Why should she move out of her own house though !"

Oopsadaisy suggested giving them notice and then putting the house on the market only if Gurms finds it too large for her.
Easier said than done, of course, but perhaps getting advice from Age UK will be a first step.
Sadly, they will probably continue to use access to grandchildren as a blackmailing tool.

They really are taking the proverbial.