Grandchildren moving away

RobertaDanversWalker

Has your daughter said what she thinks of your idea to trail after them wherever they go?

It could be rather embarrassing for both daughter and son-in-law.

It reminds me of the song by Ivor Novello and Dion Titheradge, "And Her Mother Came Too"

Haydnpat

Ive come across you begore. Nasty

Posters have tried to be helpful and give you a different perspective. I wonder why you posted if you’ve already made up your mind? I suspect you are still not quite sure and are reeling in shock. This isn’t just about you though as dh doesn’t want to move. Why not wait until dd and sil have settled in and then go down to stay for a bit either with them or in a b and b. Get to know the area and see if you like it. I imagine dd is feeling uncertain about moving as well and wants her hand held so this will give her chance to adapt. Then you can all consider your options and decide what’s best for all of you. Good luck with it. Hope it works out ok

It's hard but you still have your husband and also your son at home.

You can visit, and perhaps your son-in-law may get moved nearer where you live for his next posting.

I've never had my grandchildren close by. The day my DS and DiL found out the first was on the way they also found out that DS had been offered a job abroad for 2 years! I helped with the move as DS had to start work before the baby had a passport and I retired and helped DiL move. I had intended to stay for 2 weeks but it was during lockdown and then Germany locked down so I had to come home after 6 days!
They have lived 200 miles away since their return to the UK but recently moved 100 miles closer. As soon as I'm confident they are staying I will move nearer but need to declutter more before I can downsize. The other grandparents live at a distance too, in another direction, but we all remain close. Obviously it isn't the same as living nearby, but I visit when I can, and I have a very busy life where I am. I guess it is harder to lose what you have - I never had that so I can look forward to maybe having that in the future. If you choose to move be prepared for there maybe being other changes in future. There may be things in your life where you live now that you would miss if you move, so make sure you don't do something you may regret later.

Haydnpat

Ive come across you begore. Nasty

Just throwing out remarks like this which don’t actually say who you feel is nasty or why is rather odd. Have read through the comments and cannot single out a nasty one. Most don’t agree with your decision but are doing so from a place of concern.
You might feel disappointed that more of us don’t see things your way but that’s life.

My son and family live in Essex we are in Yorkshire. We visited each school holiday, more when they were babies. They have a very busy life ,son was abroad working Dil working . Their childcare was organised. Dc are now teenagers and have for several years had many after school activities.
We made the right decision staying put. Time spent with them is organised so we have quality time. We on the other hand have friends commitments an allotment a parent. Would miss all this. They have a wonderful life of which we are a part of but not a hinderence to them. We're all happy

I feel your pain,but staying at home with your husband and son is a better arrangement.You are the constant.The one your daughter can come up to.She can bring the children for holidays.To your daughter that will be coming back home.If they are moved around ,your home is the place they know they can come to.My daughters have lived miles away ,but come “home” whenever they can,like Christmas,or school hols for the children.

As a many many years military wife I can assure the op that an RAF base is quite self contained with wives forming a close community as husbands are often away. Have never heard of anyone's mother becoming part of anything.

Nanny27

As a many many years military wife I can assure the op that an RAF base is quite self contained with wives forming a close community as husbands are often away. Have never heard of anyone's mother becoming part of anything.

and its always been like that,

Haydnpat

Ive come across you begore. Nasty

This is very strange. I don’t think anyone is being nasty. I do think posters may be disagreeing with your plan, though, or advising caution, which you might be finding hard to accept?
Anyway, you do what you feel you must do.

Both my GC were born while my son was in the military. Faraway. We had some visits. Finally, son got out, they moved back "home" - close to us. I loved it. It lasted 6 years. They moved 3 yrs ago. I was bigtime heartbroken. But... I got through it. I know I'm missing out. I know they're missing out. Life is not what we want it to be. That's life. We learn to accept what we cannot change and find ways to cope. Luckily, I've always had a strong social network.
I wish for you to find ways to cope that do not involve uprooting your life.