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Overnight sleeps

(68 Posts)
JaydeeTas Sun 19-Jun-22 08:53:01

My GS is nearly 3 months old.. My Son and DIL are very keen for me to have him overnight as they are still struggling getting him to bed. It seems to be one night a week this is occurring.

At the moment, I don't have an issue with this. He's the easiest baby! My family though thinks I am doing the wrong thing and setting a bad example..

I think if they ask and I agree, how is this a bad thing..

Liz46 Sun 19-Jun-22 08:57:40

I think it is a good thing for you to have your GS and can't imagine why your family is objecting. Have they given a reason?

I used to have my grandchildren overnight while my daughter and her husband had the chance to go out.

MawtheMerrier Sun 19-Jun-22 08:58:34

So, can you share how what you are doing works and theirs doesn’t?
Babies need routine and I would have thought consistency in the bedtime routine was fundamental.
That said, D and SIL used to have to stay with GS until he fell asleep- usually not more than 10-15 minutes. Not realising this (!) , when I was babysitting once when he was about 18 months I read him his (obligatory) two stories, turned on the musical nightlight mobile thingy, said “Night night” and went downstairs. Not a peep!

Grandmabatty Sun 19-Jun-22 08:59:59

Who is your 'family' referring to? Surely your son is family. Do you mean husband or partner? Perhaps they are worried you are being taken advantage of or are concerned about lack of sleep. 'Setting a bad example' is a strange thing to say Or is it a daughter feeling jealous?

lemsip Sun 19-Jun-22 09:03:08

oh, I would not do that at such a very young age.. parents responsibility.
3 month old baby should be with mother and father

JaydeeTas Sun 19-Jun-22 09:04:50

My partner is the main one. He firmly believes they should not be asking me to do this. I thought he was put out by it as he still wakes for a night feed but we have a spare room he is not interrupted.

There is no routine had my Sons house. In a previous thread I spoke about how they just live their lives and my GS just needs to fit in.

JaydeeTas Sun 19-Jun-22 09:06:53

Lemsip, to be honest, I thought that was what I would be like. My mother raised me that way.. your child, your responsibility.. honestly, I really enjoy having him here..

Jaxjacky Sun 19-Jun-22 09:10:01

I wouldn’t have a problem as long as any other plans you have don’t get disrupted and it is only one night, no gradual extending to more.

JaydeeTas Sun 19-Jun-22 09:11:40

I have been to their home many times and walked them through the routine of how to get them to bed.. I showed them once and have talked them through it since... they are co-sleeping in the same bed which makes me nervous.

Musicgirl Sun 19-Jun-22 09:20:02

JaydeeTas, if you enjoy it and it helps them, it can only be good for everyone, especially the baby as he gets the benefit of a routine with you - by three months old a routine should be firmly established. I remember the best piece of advice my mother gave me before my first baby was born was to get him into a routine as soon as possible. Not having a routine is very unsettling for a baby and this is why your son and daughter-in-law are having problems. Hopefully, they will soon realise that a baby does not fit in with the parents’ lifestyle, the parents have to change their lifestyle to fit in with the baby.

Ladyleftfieldlover Sun 19-Jun-22 09:27:56

My son or his partner still sit with my six year old granddaughter and wait for her to fall asleep! When I’ve looked after her, we’ve had a story, quick cuddle and I’ve got back to the Lounge. Not a peep.

ElaineI Sun 19-Jun-22 09:45:41

Actually 3 months is quite young to have a settled routine per se. It tends to change quite a lot the first few months then settle down into an earlier bedtime. Depends on feeding too. However if you enjoy it then go for it. I'm sure they will benefit from a night's rest on their own.

LOUISA1523 Sun 19-Jun-22 09:51:37


oh, I would not do that at such a very young age.. parents responsibility.
3 month old baby should be with mother and father

Surely it depends on what works within your own family ...I've had all 3 of my GDs from 1 month for overnights so parents could go out...its worked just fine for our wider family this is very normal ..... in fact in all my friendship groups its very normal

Curlywhirly Sun 19-Jun-22 10:25:49

We had our granddaughter for an occasional overnight stay once she was 12 weeks old, her younger brother from when he was about 5 months old. No problem with either. They are now aged 4 and 8 and love a sleepover. I was just happy to give their parents a rest, and it's lovely having them over - but we're always glad to hand them back!

NotSpaghetti Sun 19-Jun-22 10:30:20

I wouldn't want to do this. I think the baby should be with mum and dad at this age.
I suppose this comes from the way I parented though.. .. wouldn't have left mine anywhere at 3 months.

However, if you are happy to do it, can you do it "now and then"? Once it becomes every week you will struggle to change it.

timetogo2016 Sun 19-Jun-22 10:31:26

JaydeeTaz, ignore comments and enjoy.
Same here Liz46.
And i loved every minute of having them too.
They are teenagers now,yet they still remember the fun we had which is very heart warming.

Chewbacca Sun 19-Jun-22 10:36:23

If it suits you, and it suits the child's parents, what does it have to do with anyone else? If you're happy then do it!

GagaJo Sun 19-Jun-22 10:39:56

My DGS lives with me, but if he hadn't, I would have adored having him one night a week.

It might hopefully set a pattern where you will be able to have overnight stays as he gets older. How lovely!

They are babies for a such a short time. Enjoy every minute.

Grannyheartache Sun 19-Jun-22 10:45:04

I would seize the opportunity to be involved and be very thankful you’re so trusted especially with a DIL. We have 2 grandchildren we regularly have overnight (although not from such an early age as they were breast fed) and 2 we will probably never be trusted to look after. We are hardly allowed to see them. Enjoy the experience even though it is exhausting.

lixy Sun 19-Jun-22 10:45:06

I also had GS overnight so parents had a night off from very early on - they appreciated it, we enjoyed it and still have a very special relationship with him.
Neither GD has been happy with a bottle so couldn't do it with them, though we all enjoy a sleepover now.
If it suits you and the parents then it's a real privilege , so enjoy it.

eazybee Sun 19-Jun-22 12:23:48

This post needs to be read in conjunction with Jaydee Tas's post Where do I draw the line to understand this family situation.
Not a straightforward one, and my sympathies are with her partner.

Elizabeth27 Sun 19-Jun-22 12:27:59

It is nothing to do with those that are not involved.

JaydeeTas Sun 19-Jun-22 13:51:18

I am so glad I came across this forum... it is so relieving to receive advice. I was starting to think I waa doing something terrible!
I appreciate your advice and feedback smile

Lucca Sun 19-Jun-22 13:54:26

There are some who advocate very strongly not letting GC stay over until they are practically at secondary school!
My view is you do what works for you !

I’m not a fan of co sleeping y the way but each to their own.

JaneJudge Sun 19-Jun-22 13:58:35

I left both of mine with my parents for the occasional night when they were little and I'd forgotten all about it until my Mum produced some old photos of them at her in laws house whilst I was away somewhere blush I don't think my older children had much of a routine either, infact i don't think i was very good at any of it!