soop's friendly kitchen for like-minded folk and pampered pets.

ann, your post arrived while I was thinking about mine. You could be our neighbour so I see the situation you describe on a daily basis. I see the physical and emotional pain she is in caring for her husband. It's a cruel illness indeed. I so wish you could have the practical help our neighbour has, she has respite three times a week knowing her dearly loved husband is in good hands for a few hours. She also has help with her housework. I so wish the same could be there for you. The pain of caring is on so many levels. With love.

for maw too.

I think we are in a very similar situation though annsixty but looking at it from different aspects. What I fear is not the "end" but the decline -which with liver disease can include mental decline, my greatest fear. With huge respect to you and all partners of dementia sufferers, the mind to me embodies the spirit of a person. Losing that is more frightening than e.g.physical debility, however distressing. Paw has always been a "cerebral" person, rather than a physically active man , preferring to watch the rugby, or better still read about it!
Won't go on as I worry about being tactless and upsetting anybody which is the last thing I would want to do.
Anyway, today is another day and yesterday 's blip was perhaps prompted by filling in the AA form which obliges you to focus on the negative instead of the positive as I think we all do in the Kitchen!

Reading your this morning post, ann, I am thinking of the day care centre where I do some volunteering. There are several "service users", as they are called, whom your DH sounds just like. The centre means that their dear ones (that would be you) get a break. I wish there were some similar service near you.

Woke up thinking about maw and ann, then considering the unsung heroes amongst our neighbours. We do what we can to help in little ways, but the burden is theirs, carried with love and mostly such good humour. I'm full of admiration for all. grannyqueenie is spot on, love isn't always pink and frothy. So wishing, ann, maw and anyone with a burden a lighter space somewhere in their day to re-charge just a bit.

All I can see outside this morning are the local cats, some sheep would liven up the view no end baggs, having said that I recall the devastation when sheep invaded ma-in-laws garden many years ago. In her case the perils of living on a Welsh mountain. Hope your visitors were better behaved.

Know what you mean n&g, the same thing happened with our family in Manchester, I try to think of it as them being cared for but it left a shiver in me. The little boys certainly had a wonderful day. Imagine everyone slept well . If you need a home for left over curry a very willing one here.

Just had a re-charge moment. Mr C is carrying on with his decorating plans and has on what he views as appropriate clothing. He has a stock in a drawer I am not allowed to empty! I'm still laughing. He can't see why shorts three sizes too big pulled in with a belt so they look like a skirt and an equally overly large tee shirt should trigger mirth. He looks like a little boy in his very much older brothers clothes. . Think it's time for me to beat a tactical retreat.

Take care all.

Thank you all for your very kind thoughts and wishes and love, so freely given.
I appreciate every one.
Let me say, my problem is nowhere near as bad as Maw's that is evident. My H is fitter than I am , so no worries over his health, my problem is losing the man I married, living with a stranger, who doesn't remember anything of our past. Not a single holiday, the places we have lived and our C's young lives. He doesn't even know how old they are.
He says the same things every day at the same time, he is obsessed by time and the weather, is it raining, how hard is it raining, has it stopped raining, has it started again?
Day after day it gets mind numbing.
I can and do cope but not forever, Maw must worry about losing Paw I agonize about dying first and what will happen then, out of my hands I know but it is still there.
My other knee and my hip are getting worse but he will not get up and help me, watching me limp around, he just does not realise.
Maw poured her heart out yesterday and now I have done the same but we know you lovely people understand, that is why we can do it.

I echo grannyqueenie's beautiful post completely. Maw and Ann you are both in my thoughts.

Maw, please make sure you get all the help you need in terms of benefits and help.

I'm finding it difficult to keep up with GN as DD2 and her 2 daughters here and I am exhausted but realise that we will never have these times again and some people don't have the chance to be worn out by their family.

We met up with our other daughters and their children at Clumber Park yesterday. DH'S brother and sil came too. We were all so shocked to see the deterioration that has taken place in DH'S brother since last we saw them. He has really severe rheumatoid arthritis and can hardly walk. He seems to be in total denial and refuses to see a pain specialist, use a mobility scooter and so over played the distances he can walk that he was refused a blue badge. His poor wife is worn to a shadow!

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Morning all ! and sheep !!

Get your Bo peep dress on Baggs !! I can lend you Sam he's a good herder and corrals the kids when they are running wild.

Hope the day looks a tiny bit lighter and brighter this morning Ann and Maw.

I watched the news about the attack outside Buckingham Palace with horror last night. Not 6 hours before the little boys had been talking to the armed police officers in that very spot. Just shows you never know !!

Anyway, they popped in on the way home and told me about all the wonders they had seen ( of course I've added a couple of pictures) and the things they want to do next time . So a very tired, and happy family as they left to go home last night.

I'm off to make 2 sorts of curry and do all the prep for dinner tonight to celebrate my sisters arrival. In honour of their adventure I feel some bubbly coming on too.

be rude not to

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Morning sheep. That's morning sheep, not "Morning, sheep". First two pics thru kitchen window as I made my morning tea. The lamb will now be known as the Woodshed Lamb. These are the same three ewes plus a tup plus one lamb, with another lamb left bleating in the field for its ma, that were in the. garden yesterday morning. I thought I had fixed where they were getting in but I think it's more a case of where they are getting out of another field where the rest of the flock is.

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I've had a truly lovely day today and reflected as I pottered around here and there, taking photos along the way and unexpectedly bumping into a couple of friends en route, how fortunate I am at this moment in time. An elderly neighbour, mid 90s and with Alzheimer's, is in hospital after a fall. He had surgery today to pin his hip, his wife also over 90 is anxious, grateful he's being well cared for but wondering how she'll cope.
Seeing posts today from Ann and Maw particularly, strangers yet folk who somehow feel like friends, reinforces that sense of life not necessarily staying the same for any of us. My heart is heavy for you both with the uncertainty and anxiety you are facing and others here who also have big worries at the present time. The stuff of true love and enduring commitment isn't always heart shaped, pink and frothy but most often shows itself in the messiness of ordinary life.
Like others all I can do is say I'm thinking of you, Praying you'll find fresh reserves of courage and strength and have those around you, either here or in "real life" to offer support and a listening ear.

Back from Provence but still down south with DS1 and tomorrow will move on to other family in Didcot. I'm trying to catch up on the past four weeks' news. So sorry, Maw, that the long tale of Paw's up and down illness hasn't made as much progress as was hoped for. Ann, I hope the news about DD's investigations turns out to be good. Been there and survived to tell the tale. It's an anxious time.

ann and maw please keep popping into the kitchen. We can't offer physical support but we are all thinking of you both and want to help in any way we can. ((hugs)) and prayers all coming your way.

I can only reiterate what others have said, Ann and Maw - though we cannot physically do anything to help, and all wish that we could, we are with you in our thoughts and hearts.

So sad to read about MawBroon and annsixty's trials and tribulations. It's a very difficult stage in life. Courage mes braves!

Maw and Ann ? and ? for any other Kitcheners who are in need of support x

Sending my love to dear Maw and ann, and wish there was something I could do to help in RL. You are never alone here, there is always a supporting shoulder and listening ear when you want them, and someone to just sit quiet with you and hold your hand in the dark times.

Many years ago when stationed in Germany, with husband and young baby, I spent many lonely, difficult times when he was away on exercise for weeks on end. One song kept reverberating through my mind and kept me going, and that was The Mamas and The Papas 'Dedicated to the one I love'. There's a bit in it that goes -

"While I'm far away from you my baby
Whisper a little prayer for me my baby
Because it's hard for me my baby
And the darkest hour is just before dawn"

It may seem soppy rather than practical but it helped me get through those dark times

I agree, it is such a buggeration for Maw and ann- different kinds of buggerations but neither feels herself.

While Paw is in hospital, could you not spend half a day at home with Hattie, quietly catching up on much needed sleep? You cannot continue as you are, you will be of no use to anybody, especially yourself. us lot are always here to listen.

Dear Maw, I've popped in to say goodnight. Your message and ann's have made me understand yet again how fragile our minds can be during stressful times. You have so much on-going muddlesomeness to deal with. We all wish that we had the magic remedy that would make the buggerations drift away into the ether. Life isn't like that. You are going through the most trying of times. All I can say is...keep sharing your thoughts with us. We may not be able to do anything other than listen but that is the least we can do for you.

oh I do feel for you , I have spent 2DAYS trying to chase up a prescription for oh , this morning 10 yr old gs managed to get the pharmacist to find it .DD usually helps but she is havong a well earned break . House is like a disability shop , but I got used to it , it is only when visitors exclaim I remember what normal is for most people ....... sigh

All good wishes being sent to you Maw and Paw, I just wish I could help.
I washed my kitchen, lobby and bathroom floors earlier, left the back door open to get them dry, went in a little later to see a neighbourhood cat just leaving, after scoffing Mia`s dinner. Oh well, her fault for not eating it herself.

We are always here Maw .

For whatever you need . Offload away !! There are people here who understand fully what you're feeling and will never tire of listening .

I just wish there was something practical we could do to support you but for now a virtual hug will have to do xx

Much love, maw. I can understand your thoughts and worries . We're here when you need us x

Not this one I hope annSixty

But if I am being honest it could be (black) Crufts in the kitchen as there is a black dog on my shoulder too , much to Hattie's astonishment. Today, I feel myself simply runnng out of steam
Spent three hours this morning completing the AA form and Paw signed it without a murmur. He was asleep when I arrived and only woke up 45 minutes later. He has a friend from church visiting this afternoon so I felt I ought to rouse him, but like dogs and babies, sleeping DHs are often best left.
Looking ahead is a bit like staring into the abyss.
Carers, physios, mobility and incontinence aids, no time off for good behaviour, disturbed nights ,the fear of confusion, early mornings , matters medical 24/7 I am already a total medical bore and catch myself banging on about nurses/HCAs/etc as I see my friends' eyes glaze over.
And ultimately there will be no happy ever after ending.
It may get better but it WILL also get worse.
Of course I will do it all with good grace as it is what I signed up for but those of you who have seen partners or siblings decline will understand how I do not look forward to that. I want Paw to have as contented, peaceful and buggeration-free life as possible but much is beyond my powers. What I CAN do, I will do if it breaks my heart.
Oh dear, sorry.
I have run out of RL friends I can offload on to and you, dear Kitchen friends may feel free to ignore and move on, but it is a lonely path sometimes.
Thank you all

Beware of the sugar high after the M&M store. When my GD was much younger she giggled all the way home on the train. I don't know how many she ate.

ann I have wangled you an invite when the Queen comes to tea. The boys would be delighted to entertain you. I hope you have laid in something nice to eat for the weekend - if only to spoil yourself a little.

They have just sent me a short video from the open top bus or as Cooper said' Its a whopper bus with no topper Nana' !

I think they are just restoring steam in the M & M store in Leicester Square ( courtesy of Grampy's money!!)

Charlie , Sam is of course , back in his rightful place on the sofa - all is well in his world !