Parentage

There must be many people whose biological father is not the man they thought it was.

Before your friend goes down the DNA route I think she should just make a few discreet enquiries and do some digging around.

How does she know she wasn't premature - her parents could well have had sex on the first day, it's not a new thing!

If they'd met the previous Easter, some 19 months before she was born, it's likely they would marry before her birth not after, unless one or other was already married but that would show on the marriage certificate. So many possibilities.

Well she would not be alone if that were the case. I believe that DNA testing has caused a lot of upset.

Ignore my last paragraph, I've just realised you say they were married before she was born, not after!

No she was born after they were married.

Oh, right, well re-instate my last paragraph!

as you said in the OP that she was born a couple of months prior to their wedding.

Easter is a moveable feast - it could have been very early that year. It can be as early as 22nd March and she could have been premature.

Good point callistemon. A quick Google to see when Easter was that year could save a lot of money and possible heartache.

I bet lots of men have raised children that were the offspring of another man.

If your friend was treated well by her father, perhaps she might want to think twice before stirring things up as it could cause her heartache.

I hope things turn out well, whatever she decides to do.

fizzers You did say in your first post that she was " she was born a couple of months prior to her parents wedding" so she was born before, not after.

I would imagine that they had known each other for several months "courting" before sleeping together, They may well not have leapt into bed immediately - not everyone a generation or two ago did. I think your friend is too quick to look for complications, a hastily arranged wedding was much more likely to be to the father of the baby than to someone else.

The parents could have met the previous Easter, 19 months before she was born but it did not become sexual for quite sometime, not unusual then when many women were virgins on their wedding night.

Even though the relationship had become sexual, they could either have risked it with unprotected intercourse and got away with it for several months or used protection and either been carelss or suffered a failure. Either way her mother became pregnant 11 months before the wedding and had the baby two months before it took place.

In the story you tell I can not see anything in it to suggest your friend's father is not her biological father

When I was a little girl I had this fantasy that I was a princess in danger who had been given to poor peasants to be looked after( actually my dad was a policeman and my mother had been to boarding school.) I remember telling a teacher that I was a Persian princess, and that one day my true parents would come for me and I would go back to rule my country. I had a very vivid imagination. Actually, I was born seven months after my parents married.

Yes, I used to have fantasies about being adopted, especially when I was at odds with my mother over anything, but there is such a strong family 'look', which I had, that it was quite clear, even to me, that this was sheer imagination.

Sorry Riverwalk she was born before they were married.

My friend did say that she had checked up when Easter was that particular year, that how she knows she was born 7 months after her parents met, 2 months before they married.

She's done a little bit of digging but come up with nothing, after all this was over 60 years ago, the people who might have known anything have passed way, growing up she wasn't treated any differently to the other siblings. Only the boys look alike, the two girls do not.

More than likely the mother got the year wrong, I think it mustve been the previous year, I've suggested she gets the mother reminisicng again, going over old stuff, see what her mother says

They could have met at Easter years before. Did her mother specify which Easter?

Callistemom I had asked her that, she said her mum said the year, it was the same year she was born, but am pretty sure it would have been the previous year. I mean I have trouble remembering years, I could name the year but not the exact month when I met my ex husband, I couldn't tell you when I met any of my other exes though!

I'm not 85 yet but I can remember the exact date I met DH!

He may not remember though.

I have, on a couple of occasions had similar conversations with women - both were mid-eighties, neither at the time showed obvious signs of dementia, although both later developed it. So I imagine the muddling of dates (and on one occasion the actual husband!) was an early sign.
For various personal reasons I knew the details they were giving were wrong. Had I been less certain, I might have wondered if I was being told about a 'secret'.
It seemed strange to me that something so personal, so deep, would be muddled, but I can tell you it was so, and I'm posting in the hope that you can share this with your friend, and it may be of some comfort.

I can't remember the date I met my husband either. I think it was in the summer though

Well, the answer is to clarify the situation with her mother (I'm assuming the father is dead). Say she saw the wedding certificate and wanted to know if she was premature to get the conversation rolling.

She should most definitely not get one of those ridiculous DNA kits.
The man who raised her, loved her, paid for her upkeep, looked after her interests IS HER FATHER.
Parenthood is not about who shagged whom

Probably the Mother meant the Easter before the year she was born but in any case, what good would it do now, opening a 'can of worms' like this?

According to Ancestory.com, my parents were born a year and a month after they told us which would mean that my sister was born before they were married. They never celebrated their wedding anniversary. I can't ask my mother but I have wondered if my sister has seen it and clocked it. It is very confusing when everything you have though about your childhood is off key. It is possible because my father was very young, just turned 19 and he did national service around that time.
I don't have any doubt that they are both, both of our parents and would find it difficult to cope with if there were and I understand how she feels but knowing isn't always better than not knowing.

I believe I am pretty unshockable and I would love to get to the bottom of a mystery such as this if it was my family.
I agree that your mother or father is the person who brought you up as such but would very much want to learn about my biological ancestry.

I don’t have any doubts about my father, but if I were to discover that he was not my real dad, I would not care a hoot and would not be interested in making any enquiries. He was my dad and I loved him to bits. Genes cannot compare with a lifetime of love and caring.