Parentage

A father is the one who has loved and help raise a child whether biological or not. He was there for her during his life and cared. Does it really matter if he was her biological father? I think not...

A quick Google to see when Easter was that year could save a lot of money and possible heartache.
Here's a list of Easter dates from 1901 onwards: www.maa.clell.de/StarDate/publ_holidays.html

Provided she had a good, happy childhood, what does it matter. I have often thought that my eldest sister was my mother (she was 18 when I was born) and would have been delighted if it were so. However, she sadly died a couple of years ago so the ‘moment to ask has passed’.

Thank you GrumpyGran, interesting.

I hope your friend finds some peace whatever she decides to do, fizzers

Quite right Theoddbird I get so annoyed when a biological parent is deemed the 'real' parent and not the one who brought up and loved the child.
Tell your friend to be careful what she wishes for fizzers there is the capacity for people to get hurt here.

On the year of your friend's birth, EASTER could have come early....March instead of April. Still only eight months but closer to nine at least.

Perhaps her parents met during Easter Season instead of Easter Sunday. Lent begins forty days before Easter (around February), so that narrows the gap even further and makes nine months feasible after all.

My own grandparents got married on Christmas Eve and their oldest child was born on September 25th, of the following year (you do the math).

I don't think it's that expensive to have a DNA test now. She is going to fret until she knows the truth, and mum is nearing the end of her life, so she'd better get on with it. Then if her "dad" isn't her biological father she has time to ask mum for the truth!

If I had questions like that I think I'd want to know the truth. Having seen programmes such as 'Long lost family' I know that often adopted people seek out their birth parents after their adopted parents die. They don't want to do it while they are alive as they don't want to hurt their adoptive parents but there is a need to know their history. Often they find step siblings they didn't know they had and have their lives enriched in many ways, though sometimes they don't find what they want. However good the parents who raised them have been there will always be a deep curiosity and I'm sure that will be stronger in some people than others. Only your friend can decide if knowing all the details is something she needs to do for her own peace of mind, or whether she can live with the uncertainty.

I think OP is probably right, and that the friend's mother got the year wrong. It is certainly the wisest thing for your friend to try to believe.

We were rather astonished to discover that my paternal aunt's date of birth was a year earlier than her daughter had thought, but that turned out to be a mistake on my cousin's behalf.

There’s an old saying ‘ it’s a wise child that knows it’s own Father’ but in any case, at this age, what does it matter?
As others say, it’s the man who raises the child that matters, the biological one, not much at all.
And yes, it’s easy for older people to confuse years.

I would want to know! Yes ofcourse you love the father who raised you but the glossing over your heredity is fobbing off IMO.
I have a family story that DGF was not the biological child of his parents but back in those days, 1870s, it was hushed up.
I think now, after researching with cousins that he was the son of his older sister, who must have been only 15 at the time, and he was brought up as her brother.
I wouldn't know whose DNA to test!
The rumour is that he was the son of a local landowner....

it seems there was quite a lot of cases of daughters having children and the parents bringing that child up as their own, happened on my father's side

Just a thought that the elderly lady might actually like to talk about it. Perhaps if it was someone else's baby she might after all this time wish to talk to someone about it before she passes.

It could be important to know if there is a history of inherited disease, particularly if she now has doubts that the father who brought her up is not her biological father.

Unless we have experienced not knowing our parentage it is unreasonable to expect someone in doubt of theirs to just brush it aside.
Yes your friends dad was the man who raised her, and it doesn't sound like she was made to feel anything less than his daughter, which to me makes it sound more likely that "mam" got her years mixed up.
A DNA test is not the devil incarnate but peace of mind for a lot of people. Yes there has been upset at times as a result but that is not the fault of the test but of the personal reaction to the test.
If your friend has a test done it is probably going to reward her with nothing but an answer to her doubts. If her dad turns out to not be her biological father then how would she find her biological one, assuming he is still alive.
It is probably hard for her now to let her mind and heart rest on all that she thinks has happened or is true, but personally I think it would be a rock she could regret looking under.

I supposedly have a half brother somewhere, according to my mam, but definitely not according to my dad. I used let it take over my thoughts sometimes and wonder why my dad wouldn't tell me the truth. then I realised it didn't matter and was not important enough to damage my relationship with my dad.
My friends mother was always treated badly by her dad, and probably because she was conceived whilst he was away for a few months, it has tortured her from time to time that she doesn't know who her dad is, as no one would speak of it and so she has no information to go on, none of her siblings will do a joint DNA test with her to help her answer the many questions she has always had. It is partially believed that she was her mam's first husbands child.

I hope your friend resolves her own issue successfully one way or another, Fizzers and I hope that she is happy with whatever the conclusion is.

I would like to know, but only really out of curiosity.
I love a mystery, so I would be intrigued enough to want to find out the story.

If I found out my dad was not my biological dad I would more likely blame my mother more than him!!! He was a real dad to me but I struggled with my relationship with her. I have the looks of both of them so there is probably no question but they never celebrated a wedding anniversary. I know it was February and I was born in May which would mean that I was probably conceived before they married. A throwaway comment once suggested that my dad too was born shortly after my grandparents were married and I too married when 6 months pregnant so hey it must run in the family!!

At 85 even with all her mental capacity still working it's hard to get dates right - I'm sure my parents would have struggled with the date they met even before dementia took over. If it's really bothering her a proper DNA test might solve the mystery but after all this time does she really want to go down that road possibly opening a can of worms in the process?

I think most of us fantasise as children that we were adopted and were actually the offspring of fairy princesses I could never understand why I was an only child and was sure I had secret siblings living in nobility somewhere! However at around 8 years old I found a letter from my dad to my mum about my birth so knew this wasn't the case

I agree Willow50 at this stage of life does it really matter. I speak as someone who has never met or had the inclination to meet my biological father and family.

My husband's father was conceived on his parents first date in 1923!

My father was born 2 months after his parents were married - and it was nothing to do with how long they'd been together etc. We found out that it was because her father wouldn't agree to her getting married ( this was 1914 so her father's decision had to be obeyed). He was just a horrible man and he held up the wedding through sheer nastiness. My poor grandmother had to wait until she was 21 and 7 months pregnant , before she could legally marry.

I'm sure there were plenty of examples like this, where the marriage was held up for various reasons. Your friend shouldn't assume anything .