Distant daughter

Oh, you made me smile! I always hear from mine when they want something or if something is amiss. I'm currently numero Uno when it comes to troubleshooting!

The universe must be listening as my daughter text me today .....to ask if I want to babysit ?

ninathenana

I empathise my daughter has moved out of this area twice and both times contact was very limited. She was working 12 hr shifts and her excuse was she didn't have time or was too tired. It could be weeks between texts and then only if she needed to ask something. I don't think it's uncommon. They lead such busy lives.
Yes, I could have rung her but never knew when she was working.
How long does it take to text. Hi mum, hope you ok.
She's now back in this area and I'm needed for child care and dad is needed for odd jobs so plenty of contact.

Exactly this situation ,she does work but part time but then has my grandson to look after. I just don't hear from her unless she needs something. When I was looking after my grandson I would only see her when she dropped him off or picked him up. I get to see them socially if it's an occasion like birthdays, mothers day or Christmas. That's why I started phoning her to keep up the contact but now I've stopped there's nothing ?

Daisymae

It's difficult, possibly she is so busy that she just assumes everything is ok? I wonder if there have been any major rifts - divorce - or something that had had a major impact on your relationship? Not much you can do except keep up with the regular contact and hope things improve.

She is really busy and so am I but I think what I find upsetting is she manages to find the time to FaceTime the in-laws or meet for walks etc but not for me. There hasn't been anything major happening in our lives apart from covid. I haven't been able to look after my grandson because of the restrictions so she has had to look after him herself so maybe she was annoyed about that but that's not something I could do anything about really

Soozikinzi

I don’t have a solution but just read the post and didn’t like to just scroll by . Can you just ask her to fit a regular time in for you ? Be straight about it ? Ask if you’ve done anything to offend? Is there anyone like an auntie or sibling who can have a word ? It’s still so strange at the moment with covid I’m sure things will improve . Just hope others will be along with some good advice for you soon .

I have tried that but nothing happened unless I sorted it. I am sure I haven't offended her we do get on really well when we are together and she is also the type of person who would say at the time if she didn't like something. I'm sure our present situation is making things worse so I will see if things get better over the next few months

Ro60

A few years ago my daughter said, "You never ask me how I am" .
I realised it was probably true. I'd ask what she had been doing, etc. etc.
Hormones don't help either. Do keep contacting her & give her some leeway.
Maybe suggest a meet-up now that were nearly out of lockdown.
Its hard when our girls turn into responsible adults with their own commitments & lives.

I've just realised I do this too, I always ask what they've all been up to but not how she is ?I will try it out and see what happens

Hi everyone and thanks for the replies,lots for me to think about ?

I empathise my daughter has moved out of this area twice and both times contact was very limited. She was working 12 hr shifts and her excuse was she didn't have time or was too tired. It could be weeks between texts and then only if she needed to ask something. I don't think it's uncommon. They lead such busy lives.
Yes, I could have rung her but never knew when she was working.
How long does it take to text. Hi mum, hope you ok.
She's now back in this area and I'm needed for child care and dad is needed for odd jobs so plenty of contact.

It's difficult, possibly she is so busy that she just assumes everything is ok? I wonder if there have been any major rifts - divorce - or something that had had a major impact on your relationship? Not much you can do except keep up with the regular contact and hope things improve.

A few years ago my daughter said, "You never ask me how I am" .
I realised it was probably true. I'd ask what she had been doing, etc. etc.
Hormones don't help either. Do keep contacting her & give her some leeway.
Maybe suggest a meet-up now that were nearly out of lockdown.
Its hard when our girls turn into responsible adults with their own commitments & lives.

I don’t have a solution but just read the post and didn’t like to just scroll by . Can you just ask her to fit a regular time in for you ? Be straight about it ? Ask if you’ve done anything to offend? Is there anyone like an auntie or sibling who can have a word ? It’s still so strange at the moment with covid I’m sure things will improve . Just hope others will be along with some good advice for you soon .

Message withdrawn at poster's request.