Can you go without booze for 31 days?

Strangly enough after reading what granjura wrote, had a conversation last night with someone that pointed out that my ex is a high achieveing alcoholic. It was always assumed within his family that his drinking was due to being married to me [both the fact that I'm not easy to live with and the fact he was unhappy in his marriage]. Two relationships on from me and he's still the same and latest relationship is going pear shaped. I hardly ever drank when I was married [with the children I always felt that one of us needed to be totally sober at all times] and hardly drink now. He needs help but none of us know how to help him [and, it isn't really my problem any more, other than the fact that I still care about him]. His drinking started during his student days and has carried on from there.

Tegan I think many high functioning alcoholics are very good at blaming others for the fact that they drink. I grew up with a high functioning alcoholic whose alcohol use killed him (though he never blamed anyone else and I loved him dearly). I have others in my family who seem hell bent on repeating the same course of events to my great concern and grief. I agree with baubles and have to admit I find it difficult to be objective about alcohol in general. That's not to say that I don't have the occasional alcoholic drink but I have a deep-rooted fear of ever becoming dependent on it. The fact that I don't really like the taste does help. I do hope some will take this challenge.

I do like the taste unfortunately; polished off loads of Sainsburys Mulled wine over the past few days, after my daughter brought some over at Christmas. Saw it was on offer so bought two more bottles and just kept drinking the stuff. Same with things like advocaat, tia maria and cherry brandy; I can just knock it back. If it's not in the house I don't bother but, once it's here and it's opened it just calls to me [like an opened box of chocolates or, when I smoked, a packet of cigarettes]. If I didn't have the strength of character to do without totally I think I'd have a problem [would be a fat, chain smoking alcoholic ]. I can see how easy it is for some people to go across the dividing line, especially when they have a stressful job. My ex was once brought home by the police, having been found lying in the road [and I still never realised he had a problem]. I'd been sitting up with the children waiting for a call from him [pre mobile phones] to pick him up from the station .

I think if people want to have a drink , that is okay , I am partial myself .
The reason I want have a dry January is to drop a dress size !

I've had to experiment over the last year or two as I found the increasing alcohol in wine didn't agree with me. So I stick to spritzers. I actually just measured the amount of wine in the glass I just poured. 100ml. That's less than a measure. However, the fact that I really hate not having my nightly fix rather suggests that I should still give it up for a bit just to break the dependence. (When the DC were little I did go through a period of swigging sherry from the bottle - first swig around 9.30am. It's not the amount I think with me, more the dependence.)

I was going to stay off this thread for a while but Nfk - that made me laugh the thought of you swigging sherry from the bottle at 9.30 am! Makes me feel better somehow!

Nfk that's a good point. It has nothing to do with the amount a person drinks but whether or not they 'need' that drink.

Must admit when we put Turkey lurkey in , on Christmas morning , we do not have a slug of the port that we pour over him .
Well it does enhance the gravy big time !

I'm a high functioning alcoholic.There...I've said it. give up alcohol for a month? I think not. Since the day my OH died I don't think I've gone a day with out it. Eight years! It's been my friend and pain killer. every morning the head pain and nausea makes me want to stop but by night fall im at it. I went to re-hab in the US twice.Lost two brilliant SO's and all but one cousin because of it.I only have the cousin in the U.S.and a few new friends here.I don't keep them long.

Respect to you Fairhair for coming out and saying that !
Hugs to you !

Fairhair that's a really sad post I'm sorry you haven't managed to break the cycle, do you even want to? Until you want it, it'll never happen. I wish you well (flowers)

I don't drink anything alchoholic as a rule - not for any medical or ethical reason, but because I am usually driving. The last time I had anything alchoholic would have been last August Bank Holiday when we were away in the caravan and I'm sure I had a couple of beers with a BBQ one evening.

Fairhair ((((hugs))))

Fairhair do keep coming on here, you may find some friends to help you want to start on that road to giving up. Saying it might even be the first step. ((hugs)) and strength to you.

You are brave, telling us. Hugs and from me

I sincerely hope you find that road to recovery Fairhair. (((Hugs))) Please keep posting.

fairhair hugs and flowers.

Maybe consider joining an online group of people in recovery? They'd all have been where you are now, at some point, as the website says, you are not powerless:

www.thefreedomtorecover.com/

www.intherooms.com/

Keep in touch.

Thank you all.I closed my computer after posting and went back to bed.knowing when I came back there would be comfort. I put all I had in the bin but I know I can always get more. wish I could not afford more but then I would probably just not eat.I will think on all that was said.

Fairhair a brave first step. I've sent you a pm. It can be done, believe me.

Fairhair I agree, a courageous move. Good luck.

As an update from me, once or twice I've nearly succumbed, stopped myself just in time from 'saving the last mouthful for the cook' after slopping the contents of a half bottle of wine into a casserole the other night. On other occasions, I've simply fleetingly fancied a glass of wine, but made do with Elderflower Presse instead. I don't really miss alcohol on the whole.

Anyway I've been invited to an event at the House of Commons to celebrate the end of Dry January and the speaker is Alastair Campbell. I've read 2 of his books, the one about his breakdown, and problems with alcohol (The Happy Depressive) and also his novel "All in the Mind". Love him or hate him, he writes well. So I'm really looking forward to hearing him speak.

One day at a time Fairhair. One day at a time. You're not alone and, as Baubles says it can be done.

(By the way, I did manage 12 days alcohol free! Better than nothing!)

Fairhair, On your profile you state you are a part time childminder.

I do however hope you find the support you need to deal with your addiction.

I keep a couple of children after school for no pay.I was a teacher before I married.I manage to be capable of being with them and love them dearly and wouldn't want any harm to come to them.They are 6 and 7.

Thank you baubles for the PM

How brave of you Fairhair. Life can be very hard. People who don't need some sort of crutch at some point in their lives are very lucky.