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dealing with sad and happy news at the same time..

(149 Posts)
bikergran Fri 27-Jun-14 14:34:09

as most of you know Mr Biker is very poorly (he hasn't got a bike by the way)!
this week we have had the hospital bed delivered, and lovely nurses coming and talking and sorting OH out, he is under the impression I am going to get him better like I have always done in the past when things have take a turn for the worse, but unfortunately yesterday when certain drugs arrived from the chemist It sank in that I can't make him better this time,the nurses are coming later to talk me through the drugs and side effects etc, they really are so kind, OH half has managed three spoonfulls of custard today.

On the other side of the coin my DD whos has one and only GS announced 3 months ago she is pregnant (after being told it was unlikely she wouldnt have any more children) GS is 7.
OH was sooo ....... chuffed to hear the news ( I didn't announce it any earlier as DD has had 2 scares) and has now had 20 wk scan and it seems we are to have another GS smile she has to go for another scan as baby was lying awkward, but apparently he likes "showing his bits!
I am finding really hard to concentrate on either situation, I feel so sorry for DD having to cope with her dad so ill,s it's difficult to focus on the baby, a few days after OH had heard the news he said "I want to hold this baby"..but the way things are going it is very unlikely.

I do think things happen for a reason and maybe that having a new life to focus on will ease the way.

Sewsilver Thu 03-Jul-14 22:28:50

Biker, I am thinking of you tonight

Mishap Thu 03-Jul-14 22:57:00

Me too.

durhamjen Fri 04-Jul-14 00:00:44

Biker, so sorry, but not sorry in a way. You knew that once those medicines came into the house, that it would not be long, as I did when it happened to my husband. Doesn't make it any easier, and for a long time I wondered if it was right, and should I have tried harder to keep my husband alive.
I know how you feel as this was how my husband died over two years ago. I have managed to see that it was a good way to go, eventually, and no longer blame myself, or anyone else, for how he died. It sounds like your husband was peaceful at the end. That's all we can hope for ourselves.
When my father died, he had just been told that my youngest son's partner was going to have another child. He was very happy for them.

bikergran Fri 04-Jul-14 18:32:01

Thankyou once again for all your kind words,

things have been arranged, music sorted, and the day has been booked
for early Tuesday morning, DD (the one who is expecting) came last
night and we went to see Mr Biker...we wasn't sure what to expect and it
was a shock seeing him again, and I just wanted to pick him up and bring him home, he was so cold, he hated being cold, but we were happy with how he looked,I have just been up to see him on my own, and felt a bit better this time, if that is the right word. Our elder DD went up this afternoon, but couldn't cope and was distraught when she came back.
Bye for now all you lovely people, and will pick up GN again in the near future I'm sure, take care all. flowers

Purpledaffodil Fri 04-Jul-14 19:12:23

It is good you have an early date. In our area it is about a three week wait and you are in a sort of limbo for that time. Will be thinking of you on Tuesday together with the rest of GN I suspect. flowers

ffinnochio Fri 04-Jul-14 19:25:16

Such a gentle and moving post biker. Thinking of you. flowers

Faye Fri 04-Jul-14 19:28:19

So sorry to read your sad news biker. flowers

Mishap Fri 04-Jul-14 20:13:47

We will all be with you in our thoughts on Tuesday morning. I am sure that you will have organised a fitting farewell, and you will have your family and those he loved around you.

glassortwo Fri 04-Jul-14 20:30:20

Thinking of you all flowers

GadaboutGran Fri 04-Jul-14 20:59:57

I've only just picked up this thread & been moved reading through your story & the comments. I do hope all goes well for all of you on Tuesday & send lots of love & support. Give your grief time to flow so you'll be able to enjoy the baby & support your daughter. It will be a time of joy tinged with sadness that MrB isn't there but a time where the future is full of happiness - & probably lots for you to do too.flowers

sparkygran Mon 07-Jul-14 18:34:57

Will be thinking of you tomorrowflowers

kittylester Mon 07-Jul-14 19:14:30

Very moving biker. Thank you for posting. I will be thinking of you tomorrow! flowers

Scooter58 Mon 07-Jul-14 19:35:13

Will be thinking of you also x

mrshat Mon 07-Jul-14 19:42:21

Biker just caught up with your news. So sorry. Hope all goes as well as it can tomorrow flowers

whenim64 Mon 07-Jul-14 19:54:07

Best wishes for tomorrow, Biker. I hope it all goes well flowers

Crafting Mon 07-Jul-14 20:02:50

So sorry Biker. Like everyone else big (huggs). flowers So many of us are thinking of you.

MiceElf Mon 07-Jul-14 20:06:14

Thinking of you too, Biker. I hope the knowledge that all the Gransnetters are with you in spirit, will help a little bit.

Gagagran Mon 07-Jul-14 20:34:32

Be brave Biker. We are with you in spirit and sending lots of vibes to get you through. flowers

Lona Mon 07-Jul-14 21:28:54

Best wishes for tomorrow biker, a sad day for you all flowers

NanKate Mon 07-Jul-14 22:14:52

If ever there is a tomorrow when we are not together,
there is something you must always remember.
You are braver than you believe,
Stronger than you seem
And smarter than you think.
But the most important thing to remember, even if we are apart,
I'll always be with you. flowers

Winnie the Pooh
A.A.Milne

Thinking of you NanKate

rosequartz Mon 07-Jul-14 22:28:57

Hope all goes well tomorrow, biker, when you say your au revoirs. Be strong for one another and the new baby. flowers

bikergran Mon 07-Jul-14 22:31:11

Once again a big thank you to you all, one of my dds and myself went up earlier to say goodbye for the last time, my other dd couldn't face going again, I don't know why but I don't feel upset tonight, I feel calm and peaceful, Mr Biker looked so peaceful as though he was just sleeping, we went up this morning as well, but having gone up after tea, his features had changed slightly and I felt that it was right to make it the last visit, the funeral is at 9-40 tomorrow so quite early, not sure if that is good or bad, at least we won't be moidering all day getting into a tizz, as my stomach tends to start if I am stressed.
I let one of our dd choose the one piece of music, not my choice but!

"Heaven needed a hero" as the first piece
" Love is blue" by Paul Maruit
and the end song "somewhere over the rainbow, Eva Cassidy"

Cant believe that in approx. 2 hrs time, it will be a week since that awful night, I just cant remember what I have done this last week.

I must get to bed now and prepare for tomorrow, goodnight all. take care all.

gillybob Mon 07-Jul-14 22:38:16

I have just returned to GN after being away for a couple of weeks. I was so sorry to hear your sad news bikergran. Not sure what I can add to what others have already said, other than that I am thinking of you and your family. flowers

mcem Mon 07-Jul-14 22:43:58

So sorry to hear your sad news. So many Gnetters will be thinking of you tomorrow morning. If you should feel a little shaky, think of the loving family surrounding you, and then, in the background, a big crowd of virtual friends offering support - distant maybe but there for you nevertheless.

kittylester Tue 08-Jul-14 07:25:21

Thinking of you today biker. Remember the happy times. flowers