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DH diagnosed with cancer - why am I so calm?

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KatyK Tue 22-Jul-14 17:52:28

In May this year my DH was diagnosed with prostate cancer. As a lot of you know, the shock of hearing the C word is beyond belief. He has had blood tests, a horrible intrusive biopsy, a pelvic scan, an MRI scan, a bone scan, several trips to hospitals. I am sure this is familiar to a lot of GNetters. Waiting for the results to see if had spread (it hasn't) was torture. I had always thought that if I had news like this (we have been together 47 years) that I would fall apart and be a gibbering wreck. I seem to have gone into robot mode. DH didn't want the family to know as we were going on holiday with them and he didn't want to spoil it. So for over 3 months, I have been smiley and chatty and 'normal'. We have now told people (we told our daughter on diagnosis) and they are totally gobsmacked and said that they can't believe we have acted so normally. I did this for him as it was what he wanted. I can't believe how I have reacted. I can only assume that something 'kicks in'. Has anyone else experienced this reaction? I have always been a bit of a panicker so I am rather shocked at my own reaction! His prognosis is good by the way, he has to have several weeks of radiotherapy and hormone treatment.

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ninathenana Wed 23-Jul-14 13:48:11

Thanks KatyK
I took DH to A&E because he woke up unable to pass urine. They catheterised him after a physical exam and sent him home to wait for surgery. No mention of blood tests at the time but have just remembered he did have blood taken at the pre op appointment.

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KatyK Wed 23-Jul-14 15:01:07

nina - I am pretty sure they would have mentioned cancer by now. They don't mess about. Hope it all goes well.

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Deedaa Wed 23-Jul-14 21:22:46

As part of the investigations before DH was diagnosed with Myeloma his prostate was obviously mentioned. The verdict was that it was rather enlarged but that was normal for a man in his 60's. I can't remember whether they looked at the PSA but I know the consultant said that it's not a completely reliable test and a raised level doesn't necessarily mean cancer. They may not mentione cncer nina but look out for the word "sinister" which is also used (and I think sounds more scary)

I know just what you mean KatyK I think there is just so much to organise that you don't have much time to think about why you are doing it. There was stuff to take to hospital, working out schedules of pill taking when he got home, what to do about our grandson (luckily DD has been able to work from home and take time off) sorting out money, applying for benefits and working out when and how he could retire filled weeks. And so far everything has gone pretty well. I don't know how we will both feel when he does start to get worse and with Myeloma this is bound to happen even if it takes years.

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KatyK Wed 23-Jul-14 21:53:21

Good wishes to you and your DH Deedaa flowers We are retired fortunately and family have all offered all sorts of help bless them.

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