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Erectile dysfunction

(111 Posts)
womblekelly Sun 31-Aug-14 18:38:49

Seems v much to be a taboo subject ... Why? My husband had an operation for bowel cancer 12 months ago and since then has suffered from this - we we're warned this cld happen and go has been great but no drug has helped just wondered anyone else has had same happen ???

berdie Mon 01-Sep-14 08:50:54

I'm glad to hear that your DH has recovered from his operation, but sad to hear that he is suffering from ED. As you have probably been told, ED affects lots of men, through all age ranges, due to the effects of operations, bereavement, psychological problems, taking medicines etc. I suffered ED sometime ago, and it was thought that it may have been due to medication I am taking for heart problems. Thankfully things are returning to normal, slowly, and this is due to lots of love from DW, so please, you and your DH, don't worry, you sound to be in a very loving marriage, and there are many ways that you can enjoy each others love.

suebailey1 Mon 01-Sep-14 09:08:10

I worked with a surgeon once who specialised in such treatments with great success. There are a number of treatments which can help best to go back to the GP for a referral to a specialist.

etheltbags1 Mon 01-Sep-14 09:20:03

surely as long as you have each other that's the main thing. Sex should be just the icing on the cake not the whole thing.

kittylester Mon 01-Sep-14 09:58:46

The icing is quite nice though, ethel! sunshine

etheltbags1 Mon 01-Sep-14 10:09:40

I can live without icing, no probs, would rather have a good book any day

suebailey1 Mon 01-Sep-14 10:15:04

I treasure my icing and if my icing were not available although we would still very much enjoy the cake I think we would be in search of a specialist in icing without embarrassment its only like something else going wrong with the body.

Mishap Mon 01-Sep-14 10:19:17

If no treatments have worked then you may just have to concentrate on the cake and all the lovely things you can do with it. Some cakes have no icing and are really good. We do lose things as we get older for various reasons, and this is just one for many people.

Be thankful that the cake has survived and give it lots of attention.

GrannyTwice Mon 01-Sep-14 10:21:28

Given that the OP raised the issue of ED being a taboo subject, could we be grown up enough to use the proper words whilst discussing what is a very difficult subject for many in a variety of ways. If you mean sex then say so and don't continue with the analogy that was ( appropriately) made in the first place.

kittylester Mon 01-Sep-14 10:57:36

Sorry GrannyTwice, but threads do wander! That doesn't stop anyone who has read the OP giving any advice they might have!

Womblekelly, it was brave to air the problem and I am sorry that you and your DH are suffering like this. I have no advice to offer but I am sure you will get lots of people posting who do have some.

I hope you were not offended by the little light-hearted detour. flowers

suebailey1 Mon 01-Sep-14 11:01:13

Oh dear!!!!!!

suebailey1 Mon 01-Sep-14 11:03:53

sex sex sex!!!!!

Nonu Mon 01-Sep-14 11:14:01

wink wink

Mishap Mon 01-Sep-14 11:20:14

A little gentle humour does no harm - and it chimes with the feelings of the OP. It's not about being grown up, but being sensitive. Some people may not find it as easy to talk about as others.

The spirit of the message is what is important.

kittylester Mon 01-Sep-14 11:33:10

Well said Mishap, as always!

Behave sue grin

suebailey1 Mon 01-Sep-14 11:55:17

Ok then never did like being told off. smile

janeainsworth Mon 01-Sep-14 11:57:28

GrannyTwice Lighten up!
The double entendre is a fine English tradition.
You might enjoy this on iPlayer

"Is the Double Entendre in Rude Health?
Duration: 28 minutes
First broadcast: Tuesday 26 August 2014
Arthur Bostrom examines the origins and colourful history of the double entendre and asks if this comic device is upholding its reputation as a firm favourite or whether its popularity is starting to droop."


Mishap Mon 01-Sep-14 12:08:45

Thanks for the link to the programme - I look forward to listening to it!

Galen Mon 01-Sep-14 12:15:19

My late husband had the same problem following his op for Ca bowel. Viagra in large doses helped. There are implants and various devices available. One involves an implant with an implanted reservoir of fluid that when squeezes erects the penis.
I miss my DH and would happily do without the sex if I still had him

Maniac Mon 01-Sep-14 13:44:09

Age Concern (now Age UK ) published a book in 2004 by Dr Sarah Brewer 'Intimate Relations' -Living and Loving in Later life.
Don't know if still available -your library may have it.
A very well written book with a chapter on 'Male Sexual problems in Later Life' -including info and advice on ED.

kittylester Mon 01-Sep-14 13:49:48

Hi Maniac [sorry - not on subject] nice to see you! sunshine

richard7 Wed 31-Dec-14 09:48:59

For all us male "MEMBERS" how apt that word is!with a touch of ED, i had the same problem, a friend suggested "cock rings" I found some on Amazon of all places, the ones I have are three simple silicone maybe rings, you get three it is recommended to put one around your testies one or two on your shaft, they are quite comfy, my lady says they make my equipment look sexy, they certainly help me get a very hard erection.

The first time we used them it was super great sex, a day or so later we were both sore, maybe friction burns Ha. we think it maybe the material they are made from that affected us, we now put Vaseline on the rings first, no more problems now, sex life is much better now, simple cure/help.

I also use them for self satisfaction too, great stuff.
They are not expensive either.
Hope this helps some of you blokes out there.

I will be 69 soon.

Happy new year.
Richard 7

Anne58 Wed 31-Dec-14 10:03:46


pompa Wed 31-Dec-14 10:30:55

Great to see a serious thread discussing a taboo problem that affects so many men. It may seem an amusing subject, but it is not to those involved.

I have problems, probably caused by a combination of anti depressants and a pituitary tumour which causes a lowered testosterone level. I did try treatment for the testosterone but the side effects were unacceptable. They will not operate on the tumour unless it causes sight problems.

I can achieve an erection, but cannot maintain it long enough. Really don't fancy asking the Dr. for Viagra. Richard, those rings sound as tough they may be the answer.

Sex is certainly not the most important thing in our marriage, but it would be nice occasionally.

I would appreciate your experiences of asking for and using Viagra.

Galen Wed 31-Dec-14 11:29:12

We found it efficient, but the GP was reluctant to prescribe the required dosage, he had to be instructed by the consultant.
He also (imo) underestimated the frequency with which it was required!