My daughter died ten days ago

Had to pay a man to get in as well.

That's all you needed right now. Glad you got it sorted even if it did cost you!

I think grief can have an incapacitating effect making it hard to think straight.

I am sure that you are right petallus - so much of one's mind taken up with other thoughts than the day-to-day.

I hope that cards and keys get sorted Allie.

Sorry - I meant cars of course.

Changed my trousers = and forgot to change the key over.
Yes, some of the time I am not functioning very well.

Trouble is now, the man got in so easily past the Yale that I realise I will have to find and USE the key for the big lock!!!!
And get another to give someone else too..............

Frustrated and tired.
It would be Sunday, can't do anything to get any further!

I hope you will b able to get some relaxation time today Allie - if you are tired, please just rest. You probably need it.

If you know you can't advance things today because it is Sunday, would it be impertinent of me to suggest you try (?) to just relax, have a break from worrying, sit in the garden with a lightweight book, listen to some nice music or watch some rubbish on TV and get some rest? I know keeping busy is meant to be therapeutic at times of crisis, but there is only so much a body can take.

I have just rested for an hour with book and music - got fed up with the book. Maybe some different music, later.

What I have done is take all the old rubbish out of the old car, bring it in to sort out and keep stuff I want in the new car....since the old one is going in P/E anyway I have to do this. Got tired though.
I sound awful restless, and I am.

This crisis will run and run. Doesn't go away.
I go over and over what happened and it's always the same.......

You are right Alie that this will go on for a while. Your pain does not go away, but it really will change in its nature as time goes by and you will be able to remember the good things. I know that that seems impossible now, and for the time being it is, but you are doing so well.

You would not be human if you did not go over and over what has happened. You might feel it helpful to have a plan of action for dealing with this - to let your mind dwell on it all for a certain length of time, and then consciously say - OK time's up, I will concentrate on something else for a while. Going over things is a way of processing what has happened and not a sign of weakness - it is a useful part of the grieving process and not to be shunned. But giving it a time limit sometimes helps to put you more in control. The thoughts will all come back of course, which is as you would expect, and then you can just let them be for a while then concentrate on something else again. I have known people who have found this useful - it may not be for you, but worth a try.

No-one can take away your pain but we can all walk beside you,.

I will try.

The worst thing is that this need not have happened....

Alie my dear,my DS2's death should/need not have happened, but the awful truth is that it has, and we have no choice but to plough on. It is so very hard, but we have to carry on. There is nothing wrong in having times where you want to weep and wail, shout at the moon or curse every person on the planet (including yourself) for not being able to change things, but ultimately you have to accept things as they are. It's not easy, especially in the early stage, so weep and wail, shout at the moon, curse, then take a deep breath and do what you can.

Much love (and some understanding) to you. xx

Life is so fragile....and we don't realise that until it happens..

Alie may I suggest that you have a keysafe fitted outside? Admittedly this will only house a yale key but it may be a start. It is a tiny black box fitted discreetly outside your house. When opened you apply a 4 number code which opens it and reveals your key. It was fitted for me free of charge in 2009 after I had my ankle pinned and plated. If you google keysafe you may get an idea of prices but it should not cost too much.

There was one here when I came - and we couldn't get into it! I don't think it would solve the problem as I would still have to have the other key to get in......but thanks for the thought.

I've had a long phone chat which helped.

Life is fragile and bad things do happen to good people

Doctor this morning, then a visitor - and I have developed a sore throat overnight and feel dreadful!

Please let us know how it goes with the doctor. I hope there will be some help there.

Alie Hope you feel better soon.

Resting up today. Started on steroid pills for the flareup of colitis.
At the moment feeling shivery and sweaty at the same time.
(Paracetamol is us!)

However the garage just rang and the car is MOT'd, so if I can get to the bank in the morning (crossed fingers) and sort the insurance, I can get it. Then I can get to Oxford - WHEN I reckon I am not infectious.....

Resting up sounds such a good idea Alie.

Get well soon Alie.There are some nasty virus things going around.

alie you are going through so much it is hardly surprising your physical resistance is low. I hope the steroids do their stuff and that the paracetamol brings your temperature down - don't try to do too much until you are a bit better.

ALie my thoughts are always with you although I don't often come on here. You have such a lot to contend with. Your immune system is probably compromised by all the stress you have been under. Hopefully you will feel physically better soon. As others have said, do try and rest especially now that you probably have a bug. Can you sit in the garden with a book and just relax, even for a short while? Take care xx