My daughter died ten days ago

Look after yourself.

Alie, the sad day is behind you now. It's good to have plans to go out with your friend M and do keep coming on to Gransnet. you have so many friends on here who have been thinking of you over recent weeks. Keep strong. X

Ali

Trying. Some of me doesn't even believe it yet.

Alie - that sense of disbelief is so common in this situation - and so understandable. Stay strong, and take all the help you can get from friends and family. Look after yourself.

Alie, not really believing stays a long time - we all feel that about the really special people. In my case it slowly evolved into that faint and comforting feeling that some part of them is still here - I often (though not as much as a few years ago) find myself saying something like 'Oh look at this Mum', when I see something that would have amused her. It brings me close again for a while, but I do know she has gone.

XX

Part of the disbelief is because, in the nature of things, our children shouldn't go before us. When an old person dies, that is easier to accept, but the death of a younger person is much harder.

You must be physically, mentally and emotionally drained (((hugs)))

Alie this may have already happened, but if not, just to say be prepared for "the dreams", not every one has them, but apparently many do. Speaking from personal experience, some of them can be quite comforting.

Love to you all,xx

Alie - whatever happens, remember that there are people walking beside you on this difficult journey. xx

Thanks folks.
Was ok yesterday, went to help M in the afternoon with sorting stuff of hers for removal....came back and went wham down.
Still down.

On top of which I find this morning I seem to have left my ID papers - passport, birth cert and decree nisi, all needed as I have changed my name twice - SOMEWHERE!
(We still have to deal with a Santander account.)
I hope they are at K's house and safe.....! but he is busy at the moment and can't ask him.

Alie

Ah, the dreaded paper chase hey , mix it up with all the other 'duties' and you start to become a human dustbin of numbers, dates , appointment times etc. don't you.

I hope the grandchildren are doing as reasonable as can be expected. [hugs]

You are doing a great job of things Alie, so many hurdles kicked out of the way but that ruddy finishing line will always be in the distance won't it but you know that without me telling you don't you.

Found my papers - in the car.
And also managed to go to the bank and sort out the money I got through being next of kin, and pass some on to K for the kids.

This is a relief. Also M phoned and cheered me up, so feeling far better than earlier. Spoke to eldest GS too. He says 'up and down' which is just about where I am too........

I'm glad that you have a good friend there for you when needed. Respect too for the way you're coping.

I keep watching this thread and send you my very best wishes

Lost things always have a habit of turning up in the end, Alie. Keep in touch with us all. X

Alie,phoenix and as I have just learnedDaisy we share the same bond,the dreams are a comfort,the paperwork trail eventually dries up,I am sure phoenix will agree there are many stages to travel through before acceptance and peace return,one day you will smile again,but as you said in you OP and I also said at the time a Hole has appeared in your life. you have to learn to navigate around it,it isn't right to have to bury our children,sadly have done this twice,so speak from experience we too share a similar pain and understanding of your journey through...haven't spoken to you before as haven't found the right opportunity but have quietly lurked since my return ( I used to be Nellie,guardian of Lils bar) one day at a time

Not a great morning.
Tired and miserable.

My son died ten years ago. I did have a dream about him....he appeared and said 'I'm okay, Mum'.

He was at peace at last, I know, But we weren't ok, and I was angry that he had chosen to leave us.

to Alie and others who share her very sad experience. Hope you can comfort one another.

Oh Alie not a good day.

Hold onto our best wishes

On Alie such a lot of grief for you deal with (((hugs)))

Alie, it seems so unfair that this terrible loss has visited you twice now. There are no words, just so much love and (((hugs))) for you.

Oh Alie....goodness knows where the strength comes from to live with these awful losses, but perhaps having a good friend who can hear you when you want to talk and to be sitting quietly with you when you don't, will give you a bit of comfort.
As Gransnetters, we are spread far and wide, but we'll be here sitting quietly for you. xx

Thank you all.

I am still going out this afternoon...
..........not sure I even want to, but I must face people sometime.

How awful for you.

That's a very positive step Alie