Bereavement and Counselling

I do that too.
Have to be restrained just now as I will have to move pots when workmen come.....I am putting off asking them to come.....

Re insecurity.....after counselling I went on Minecraft and built myself a safe house...........

All very symbolic and it is somewhere to go.

I've never tried Minecraft - how interesting that you have found this positive use for it - good on you!

My grandson KN introduced me to it - he plays it with monsters and the underworld and magic - but I just build things.
It's a follow-up to the fantasy islands I used to draw maps of when I was young - in 3D!

AlieOxen I have a printout of a posting by Elegran on my freezer door. I read it every day. It reminds me that I am still here and I must go on. Some days are easier than others........

I didn't see that nannie, what does it say?

It reads.....
As a friend said to me, when something this bad happens, you have three choices: you can let it:
1. Define you
2. Destroy you
3. Strengthen you.
Even if you can never "get over it" or "move on" you can simply go on, and many days that will feel like enough. The death of someone we love becomes the start of a new "normal". This normal will never probably feel as good as what you once had, but it is whay you have and from the moment you open your eyes that first day after your loss, you have begun the journey of living with it.

nannie I have printed this out, and will give it to K.

Sorry, forgot - thank you.

Baby K lives in Oxford....if anyone can sign the online petition about the Oxfordshire family centres, please do! I just received it and have signed.

Signed

Here's the link to the petition

Thanks anno.

I was there Sunday and K was in a bad mood at first.....uptight about KN being lazy, and expecting big bro M to arrive - but I managed to make him laugh about KN, because I suddenly saw him acting like Columbo in the detective series, and K saw just what I meant! (KN uses it as a defensive strategy, I think.)
Then when M came, it was ok. He started to cry about his mum, and I haven't seen that since he was a kid. Said he didn't know how to do the thing about the stuff that Jayne has left....it is obviously very difficult for him to be in the house and she's gone.
Hugs all round, then M's partner arrived with small M, my greatgrandson, and the two babies were squabbling around the floor.........ended up ok.

Signed Anno Seems very shortsighted to close such a valuable resource

When colour goes home into the eyes,
And lights that shine are shut again,
With dancing girls and sweet birds' cries
Behind the gateways of the brain;
And that no-place which gave them birth, shall close
The rainbow and the rose:-

Still may Time hold some golden space
Where I'll unpack that scented store
Of song and flower and sky and face,
And count, and touch, and turn them o'er,
Musing upon them: as a mother, who
Has watched her children all the rich day through,
Sits, quiet-handed, in the fading light,
When children sleep, ere night.

Rupert Brooke

Maybe some day.

Thank you for posting that Alie.

In the county where I live there used to be a family centre that did valuable supportive work with families and prevented many future problems. Needless to say it was closed because of lack of funds, in spite of the fact that the fire-fighting input when things break down costs much more in both money and human happiness.

Today I have been in Oxford seeing K and Co and having lunch, all peaceful but K really quite depressed.

I have been thinking about Jayne:
'You idiot, you silly moo, you were so careless that you lost the rest of your life...............!'
I am so sorry for her that she is missing so much.

How hard for you Alie - that feeling that it need not have happened must be so difficult to deal with. I hope the counselling is helping you. x

Regret on our own behalf but more what others haven't done is so hard to take but destructive to think about. I hope you can come to terms with it and stop blaming Jayne. She did not know what she was doing and it is not fair to blame her. I do not want to be hard I just want to be factual and this does not diminish my sincere kind thought toward you and all your family.

No - at this point I am coming away from blaming her.
I have been angry and K is still angry, but now I thinking it was just such a stupid thing to have happened!

To be angry, is to think more of myself than what she has missed.

I've just had a kind of a flash vision of Jayne and K getting married....it would have been in July.
Him in a neat black suit and her in the most amazing white frills....

Things would be so much simpler now if they had.

Never forget Alie that she did not know what the outcome would be - she would have acted differently if she had fully realised the risks. She would not knowingly have created this sad situation.

Your attempts to get the condition better understood so that patients understand the dangers is the way forward. I do admire you for this.

About the only thing I can do.

It''s more than sad, though, it is very worrying and stressful. I have five grandsons, from 27 down, and I am worrying about all of them and K as well. All for different reasons.

Last night I did sleep well for the first time in about a week...and woke up feeling so anxious and depressed that I have cried for hours this morning. Some of it is to do with coming off the steroids, I have had dizzy spells and anxiety and can't do much without stopping, like I walked to the bank and then had to sit down. But this was extreme.

Looking up stuff that might help.
Anyone with experience of steroid withdrawal?
(I will put this in a Health thread, I think.)

Can't help with the steroid withdrawal question and hope thee is someone with some experience of this who can help.

Sorry you are having a bad morning and hope that things are improving for you as the day goes on.

Thanks Lucky for support.