Diagnosis.

rubylady and harrigran, I've only just come upon this thread. So sorry to hear such bad news

I have also just caught up with this thread and am sending lots of love healing thoughts for both of you.

ruby, I'm sure you are being a huge help to your father and it is maybe a blessing that he forgetting as he may not remember enough to worry.

Harri, I can't think of anything to say except to send you (((hugs)) and ask you to remember that we are here if you want to offload to us rather than DH or your DC. Keep talking to us.

I am trying to do the normal things like the GC's school concerts. Yesterday we had to leave the house at 8.15 to drive 45 minutes, until 8.10 I wasn't sure I would make it, I did and it was worth the effort. DD returns to the UK, for two weeks, next week. It was awful having to give her that news on Skype.

Ruby lady and Harrigran-hugs and for you both. You are in my thoughts.

harrigran this must be a difficult time for you, sending you lots of hugs and best wishes.

ruby I think your dad forgetting what is going on is a blessing, otherwise he is only going to worry.

I had bowel cancer twelve years ago which fortunately was cured by the operation and didn't have to have chemo. Two weeks ago found something and was very worried until yesterday after colonoscopy was declared clear. Before that I had decided that at the age of nearly 93 if it had returned I would refuse chemo having seen my husband and sister both suffer the effects only to pass away after a few miserable months.

harrigran and rubylady I am truly sorry and shocked to learn of your news.

I'm another late arrival to this thread and am sending hugs, and positive thoughts to rubylady and harrigran

A bit of a turn of events. My dad has accused me of stealing his money. I have backed off for now as my health can't take it all at the moment. I know that he is suffering and scared but I have done no wrong to him, the very opposite. I have spent a full week in bed recovering over being with him last Monday. My blood pressure is sky high, medication changed to try to get it down, water tablets took onboard as feet keep swelling badly.

I know I am not in the same position as he is, but I don't want to put myself in hospital neither. God, this is hard work. Three days off Christmas and he is making me feel like a huge failure and a theif even though I have not took a penny. I have to put a smile in it as it's my DS's last Christmas at home too before leaving for university and I was looking forward to having some fun with him.

My dad apparently has phoned the solicitor back and is requesting taking control back of his own finances. Can he revoke the LPA? I am thinking of handing it over to the solicitor who is the second LPA as I don't want to be accused of stealing from him when it is certainly not true.

I was going to leave posting this until after Christmas but I feel wretched after doing all I could for him and could do with some support from my friends on here if it's ok?

Oh Rubylady. That's so sad for you. But you know your beloved dad is no longer his real self. We would all be hurt but try not to let it get you down. Others on here will probably be able to give some first hand experiences and be able to give you practical advice. But for what's it's worth, I'm thinking of you and begging you not to let this affect your own health. Glad you posted now and didn't leave it.

Rubylady Accusing relative etc is not unusual in people with dementia. I would suggest handing over to the solicitor if you can.

Rubylady we have been through similar situations. Your dad probably does not have the capacity to make decisions, to use official terminology. It takes a while to establish this with all the agencies concerned.
I found my admiral nurse invaluable help, she stepped in for me, she supports you as the carer.
Your dad needs to have been in the forces, even national service counts, if he has do take advantage of this service. It's provided by the British Legion. The Alzheimer's Society can refer you, they have knowledge of everything available to you.
Take care and keep asking for support.

It is such a difficult illness and all its manifestations are so hard for the relatives. Take the solicitor's advice about the LPA.

I'd suggest you act jointly with the solicitor on this Ruby that way you will firstly cover your own back and secondly have the suppport of another person, and one legs.ly qualified at that.

Rubylady and Harrigran - I feel for you both and send you hugs and

I have just come across this thread ruby {{{hugs}}}

harri I am so sorry I have just seen your devastating news {{{hugs}}} thinking of you xxxx

Sending best wishes to you rubylady, take care of yourself and remember it is your Dad's illness talking.

How are you doing harri? I do so hope that you are able to enjoy Christmas and have some fun with your family.

Best wishes to you too harrigran thinking of you.

Thanks everybody, I am jogging along. Have an appointment to see a surgeon after Christmas so I get to spend the day with the family which is as good as it gets.

Fingers crossed for when you see the surgeon. I'm not religious but I often think there's somthing in the power of positive thoughts. So here are mine coming in your direction.

My best wishes to anyone who has had a cancer diagnosis, I can empathise with it all. Mine was just before Christmas and this year I am fine (until the run my tests in January again), I just live for today and try not to think about tomorrow. I am happy to talk to anyone by pm if they want to have a chat or rage at this horrible disease.

My consultant rang me on my mobile this afternoon and told me to not worry for a few days and go off and enjoy my Christmas. I was gobsmacked to receive the call. I thought it was a nice gesture.

A wonderfully kind gesture harri you've a very human consultant. Have a wonderful family time. My best wishes to you and to ruby. Two neighbours are being changed by dementia, it can be an overwhelming illness. Sending you both .

harrigran how nice to be cared for by somebody who cares. That was a lovely gesture.

ruby for you also