Gransnet forums

Health

non stop talking

(32 Posts)
etheltbags1 Sun 17-Jan-16 19:38:55

I not only have problems with my DGD re eating but with my elderly mother too, she is getting worse. I know this is similar to another thread about older people being rude because they think they are entitled to at their age. However my mother just doesn't stop talking. If we are in a shop and she sees someone she talks non stop, I can see them edging away . She is a bore.

If she rings me to tell me for instance that shes bought a bargain at a shop, she starts off with the whole story of how she got up that day, what she wore, what the weather was, who she sat next to in the bus and then what shops she went in then finally what she bought and the cost of it. Everything becomes a story, She is getting worse and can be quite aggressive too, if I tell her to be quiet she will say that she will soon be quiet for ever and makes me feel guilty. I love just coming home from work and lazing on the sofa relaxing but she will have left messages on the phone to which I must reply. She is not lonely, she belongs to groups/has friends and has a busier social life than me. She is aggressive and tells everyone off for not doing as she has said, I challenged this and she says that if people persist in doing the 'wrong thing' then they must be spoken to. I tell her to mind her own business and she says people like me are no good they allow others to walk over them. Help !!!

elena Thu 21-Jan-16 23:49:09

She might be kind hearted. But she's also rude, thoughtless and not very nice! Thinking that everyone likes her ramblings and thinks she is a character makes it sound like she is selfish and self centred too smile

And she makes fun of your failings? She's a real darling, isn't she? Blimey. Now is the time to stop putting up with her!

It's not expensive to use a mobile these days. But whatever. You can still switch off your answering machine.

Maggiemaybe Fri 22-Jan-16 09:28:26

elena, you made your point the first time. With all her faults, this lady is still ethel's mum and she obviously loves her. And knows all her good points too, which the rest of us don't!

Teacher11 Fri 22-Jan-16 11:51:13

There seems to be a real divide between people who wish to engage with others and who ask questions, listen and contribute to talk but know when to stop and those who just want an audience on whom to 'vent'. I had a meeting with some retired work friends and of the four of us one took up about ninety per cent of the conversation despite our all wanting to hear about everyone's news. This speaker used to hold forth at work and never give anyone else a look in and I was forcibly reminded about how bored, annoyed and angry I used to get having my attention mugged when I wanted to hear what everyone had to say, not just her. I am married to a lovely chap who, if not reminded, can launch into a stream of non stop anecdotes about himself and his own life going back over forty years. He has managed to put several potential friends off by doing this!

I have jokingly now got the '30 year rule' for a time limitation on anecdotes and remind him that you talk for 30 seconds and then stop as it is your interlocutor's turn. Not that this stops him!

What I wonder is whether bores realise that they are not as amusing as they think they are and that their assumption that they are more interesting than the company in which they find themselves is generally wrong.

I am commenting generally here as I guess your mother is a lovely person really.

jennyvg Fri 22-Jan-16 12:59:12

Rubylady I am with you on this one I too tend to talk more or less non stop and over the years I have made some lovely friends who were once strangers and I won't change either take me or leave me it's the way I am.

Bez1989 Fri 22-Jan-16 13:25:09

I know someone who can "Talk for England" Once when I was out from the house I phoned her for a quick chat on
my mobi. I was listening to her for so long
my batteriy died smilewink

etheltbags1 Tue 26-Jan-16 08:46:16

when my mother tells one of her stories she tells what she wore that day, what the weather was like, who she met, where she went and before she gets to the point I just want to scream 'just get to the point will you'. I could shake her, will she ever change.

I sometimes tell her about other older people who never stop talking and she will say, in a maudlin voice, 'ahhh but shes 80, poor soul'. That seems to be the general idea that if you get to be 80 you can say what you like. Shouldn't the normal rules of good manners be kept no matter what age someone is.