non stop talking

Sounds a proper character! Lol. However I wouldn't tell my Mother to be quiet, maybe let it wash over you instead? only answer messages when you want to, and don't answer all her calls.If at the shops and she is yakking away, chivvy her gently somewhere else?
At least you know that she isn't lonely, and has plenty to do.

My MIL talked non-stop, she didn't live nearby but I phoned her often. After a day at work, looking after the family etc, I would be so tired but she would chat non-stop about inconsequential things, her neighbours, the buses, the local Council, the local shopkeepers etc. I would lay my head down on the kitchen table and nearly nod off, once she caught me when I mumbled 'Yes, of course' and I should have said 'no'.

I do talk to people in shops, must stop myself, I am becoming an old biddy.

My mum can be really embarrassingly rude. She often says hurtful things, mostly directed to her grandchildren, e.g. Telling them they are getting fat etc., she too feels she's old enough to say exactly what she wants.
My DD told her that she was pregnant a few year's back and her answer to that was "bad luck". Unfortunately a few days later she miscarried and I will never forget that.
As for the non stop talking she is a little guilty of that but I just put that down to her age.
ethelbags my grandson also has problems re eating

I'm the non stopping talking person you are complaining about! My family walk away from me too, hey ho, I won't stop, it's who I am.

My grandson says "Do you have to talk to everybody?"
I say they are being friendly, and it's polite. But you do not talk to everybody, only those you know.
Anyway, when you live on your own and there's nobody to talk to a lot of the time, it's good to talk to someone every day.
Nothing worse than somebody being found dead at home and nobody noticed they had not been seen for days or weeks.

I have had experience of this with friends and relations, and have found one factor in common. People who talk alot usually live alone.The reason some cannot be argued with is - they have no one at home to tell them if they are right or wrong. So alot of the time they assume they are in the right. There is no one in the house to disagree or tell them any different.

I have a friend who lives alone and when we meet up she talks alot but I do not mind, sometimes she can go for days without seeing anyone. There are no family nearby and she never married.

So are you saying that if there are two people in a house who argue a lot, they do not talk when they go out?

I do tend to switch off from time to time, the two things that really cause arguments are when I have a visitor, I usually ask her along and she monopolises the conversation to the point that everyone is sneaking glances at the clock, and I feel invisible. I have tried to point out that conversation is a two way thing but as she has hearing problem, she cannot hear anyones replies so she just trundles on with one of her stories until she runs out of steam. Boxing day, I had a visitor and she hadn't seen him for a year, so he got stuck with her update of all her happenings for three hours, when he went away she fell asleep and woke at 11 oclock when she immediately went home (two doors away). I felt like Id had no company that day.
The other thing is that her main subject is how useless I am, Im a bad cook, accident prone etc and she tells everyone about me, I have got into the habit of playing up to her for a laugh but underneath I feel hurt.

btw, she ahs to have tests soon and I think she has cancer so I know I will be so guilty for discussing this on here but it does help to tell someone. Apart from talking she is the most generous person on earth and a really good Great gran.

It wasn't too much talking with my mother but more inappropriate language. She didn't swear but seemed to come out with more racist statements as she aged. I think it was a generational thing but there were times I could cheerfully have dragged her out of shops. She thought nothing of going to the 'P...s' to pay her papers and the little hardware store had been known to her for decades as the 'J.. boys' (I do apologise most sincerely for any offence caused) She was oblivious to the inappropriateness.

ethel, could it be an early sign that your mother is developing dementia? Dementia isn't just forgetfulness, it can present in many different ways, including the behaviour you describe with the aggression and feeling she has a 'right' to air her views regardless of how other people respond and talking on and on regardless of other people.

I have a sister in law who is notorious for her verbal diarrhoea. We love her to bits, but when she's on the phone, or even face to face with you, a two way conversation is all but impossible, so you just give up and listen. I could say "oh dear, DH has just fallen out of the window" and she would hardly miss a step before continuing with what she'd been going on about. I marvel at how much she actually finds to say! I think it stems from the fact that she has lived on her own for a good bit of her life, although she has a large social circle. She has always been like this, but we have noticed lately that she is repeating things a lot, and her manner towards the people who live around her can be slightly more abrasive than usual. We are tryng not to read too much into this other than old age!

My Mil and Sil would sit side by side on the sofa and talk simultaneously the whole time. Neither listened to the other and both of them wanting to be the one telling the story. It was like a comedy sketch! If I said I can't follow both of you talking at once, they would look surprised, shrug their shoulders and carry on. Often the TV would be on as well.
No wonder I used to come away with a headache.
And I never got a word in edgeways!

But you do not talk to everybody, only those you know
I talk to people I don't know in shops sometimes, depends if we are both looking at the same thing and catch one another's eye!

I left DM and DMIL together one morning when I had to go out; when I got back DM looked exhausted (she was not well) and whispered that DMIL had not stopped talking all the time I had been out - about 3 hours!
DMIL told me brightly that she had been 'keeping your mother company'.

Commiserations ?
My FIL was an expert at this, most famously managing to talk non-stop for the whole 4 and a half hour journey from the Royal Show; trapped in the car I had a migraine by the time we got there and told DH that unless he told his father to shut up I would get the train home.
It was pure torture......

I have listened with interest to the comments and I can see some similarities with my situation. It is not easy. I have tried to ask her quietly not to chatter all the time but she says people like her.

Also she is most indiscrete, if I am ill or DD is ill for example she is off on the phone telling her group of friends. I don't like this, she tells me stuff that should be kept private such as when her friends have been to the doctors, she tells me everything the doctor has said to them, Im sure they would not like me to know this. I always insist that she says nothing when I tell her stuff. Don't know if it works though

My MIL tells all and sundry variations of her life story ad nauseum. You'd think she won the war singlehandedly. My DH cringes when she lauds his achievements , many of which are made up, to complete strangers. She is also incredibly rude and aggressive in shops, poking staff with her walking stick to get attention. She can't stand silences so fills them with minute details of her day, what she thinks of anyone, gossip about people no one knows she is talking about, horrible racist comments about neighbours etc., never listens to anyone else. I don't think it is all an age thing, she has always been aggressive and rude,particularly to members of her family.

Oh dear, I sometimes feel I'm heading that way too! My sister and I used to be fairly quiet, mainly because our mother rarely let anyone else get a word in edgeways, and yes, she would talk to anyone, often about family matters and many a time about us when we were standing next to her, cringing with embarrassment. But she was never aggressive and was often entertaining with it. I have to say I'd give a lot to hear her chattering happily away now.

My mum's sister was like that. She talked to the end of the incoming message tape on my Ansafone once. On another occasion, she was talking to a friend on the phone when my mum went to work one morning, and was still on the same phone call when she came home.

Well I feel a bit better now I know there are many others. Husband is a nonstop talker, it seems as if he's thinking aloud and it comes out in a stream. He does let me get a word in sometimes though.
Also my best friend, but with her I think it's because her husband tells her to shut up if she gets going.
But with both of them, it's often interesting, and I'm not a big talker myself anyway.

I find that after living alone for 3 years, I like the peace and when I come home from listening to anyone, not just my mother, I don't switch on tv, I just sit quietly and relax. I don't think I am a particularly endless talker, I like to listen to others too.

ethel, your mum does not sound like a very nice person. It's rude and thoughtless to go on and on and on, without a genuine dialogue. I would be telling her this, myself, old age or not old age. And if it didn't work, I'd keep on telling her, and walk away if she droned on and on.

One thing you could do would be to switch the answering machine off.

We no longer use ours - not because of loquacious family, but because of our mobiles. If anyone really, really has to speak to us, they can call or text. No need to leave messages.

I know that underneath she is the kindest person on earth, she just thinks that everyone likes to listen to her and likes being a 'character'.
She likes to make fun of my failings but perhaps I have not been strong enough to stop her. I just like a peaceful life. btw she wont use her mobile, says its too expensive.