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To die in her own way.

(28 Posts)
etheltbags1 Wed 08-Jun-16 10:48:57

My elderly mother of which I have made many references to over the last few years, is getting worse with her breathing probs. She has been warned that she should be on oxygen for 16 hours a day to avoid going into heart failure. She cannot walk far and gasps continually.
She has refused any more help and she would rather live out what life she has left rather than be confined to a chair or bed on oxygen. At present she is quite well, does her garden, goes out with her cutters pruning things, she grows things in her garden and cuts the hedge. Also she does voluntary work once a week and does shopping and has a reasonable quality of life. Am I wrong in wanting her to have the treatment that will restrict her so much to prolong her life or should I encourage her to just enjoy life as it is and just live for today.
I saw a man in the supermarket the other day with an oxygen bag and a tube to his nose, he was doing his shopping and looked ok, I pointed him out to her and said that she could adapt and take her oxygen out with her. Her response has been to say that she couldn't do it. I have had battles with her over using a stick to help her balance, a wheelchair to take her to places she cannot walk to and now the oxygen, I cannot argue any more, I just feel guilty.

Jomarie Wed 08-Jun-16 22:37:28

Feeling for all of you at this most trying of times. I just hope that as and when (not if) the time comes for me that I will be allowed to end my life as I want to, not how "they" want me to.

etheltbags1 Thu 09-Jun-16 14:34:46

alima I feel for you, just take each day as it comes you may have quality time yet and that's what is important.

Thank you everyone for your advice I have said before that my mother is a cantankerous old so and so, however she has not been so bad lately and has been listening to what I say but as to wether she acts on it I have yet to see. !