Mental health - when and where to get help?

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I am with Anya here. As a first step, keeping very very busy is a great help.During a time of incredible stress some ten years ago I think I would have needed a straight jacket had it not been for almost non stop activity. Evidently, Charles Dickens suffered from 'Black Dog' (I think Churchill coined that phrase for his own low feelings) and he used to walk every day, sometimes for about twenty miles. He felt so much better afterwards; he had unwittingly hit upon a great idea, as brisk walking evidently releases all the right chemicals in the brain. I do wish you well, 'holdthetonic' as you may find that your own measures are 'the tonic' and you won't need any help from the GP. I do hope so - but there is no shame in asking for some treatment to get you over a bad patch. Life is now, and we must do what we need to move on - all best wishes. x

I started taking a multivitamin with probiotics from boots, and I really do feel a lot more positive since. Hope you find something that works for you.

Good to hear you will be talking to GP. Why not try the online NHS depression questionnaire before you go? It will give the GP something to get a grip on.

Hopefully this will pass (with or without treatment - talking or medication)and I wish you well.

By the way, if you think you may be affected by the dark nights, I've found daylight lamps to be effective.

I am not sure that, beyond survival and reproducing the DNA, there is any purpose to life. When you are older, have had your children and given up work it is easy to see that feelings of worthlessness might arise.

However, if you turn it around, so that 'nothing has any meaning' is rendered as 'everything has some meaning' then the less important things become imbued with value. I was a teacher, daughter, wife, sister and mother and it was easy to see the value in my work and efforts. When I retired and the children left home there might well have been a gap in my life.

However, I have created a dull, solitary, pleasant world which is much contracted from when I taught and it is full of small pleasures and satidsfactions.

I advise you to have a routine and plans. Make a schedule for your day so you can get pleasantly tired out. Have occupations to distract you from bleak thoughts (books, reading, radio etc.) Exercise and getting out of the house for at least an hour a day or more, if possible, is essential for physical and mental health. I also find continued HRT a boon for my mental well being.

It sounds that in your case, holdthetonic, you need more company and it might be that a small part-time job, further volunteering or something like a walking club would help.

I would go to your GP but they are variable as to how well they deal with depression.
Some areas have a drop in mental health clinic and you may be able to find details online or your GP should know of one.
I rang Mind once and they asked me quite aggressively what I wanted. I said that it had been suggested to me that I rang them and asked what help they gave. They sent me details 18 months later which were things like local support groups. I am sure some of their offices are helpful but some aren't.
Don't delay because even if it is mild now, help is not always available quickly and you might have to wait a while for an appointment. Don't be discouraged from the idea of using anti-depressants if they are prescribed. It is really no difference to taking other kinds of medication and they are milder nowadays.
I hope things improve for you soon.

So sorry you are feeling low, have been in that position myself. Getting out really helps, I took a job in the local charity shop and it helped quite a lot, meeting new people and also helping others.

Good luck

Sorry to hear you're feeling sad and lonely holdthetonic.
Gp may be the place to start.
It took me many years and many different counsellors to find one that I gelled with. It really is trial and error.
I am clinically depressed, so I have a chemical inbalance that I take medication for. It's not for everyone though.
Exercise, family therapy, help from the school all may be beneficial.
I have found a relaxing massage helpful too ?
Good luck, I hope you are feeling lifted soon ?

My late DH had depression for many years, anti-depressants didn't work for him & Psychiatrist he saw told him to stop taking them. He was referred to Pschologist helped very much & gave him coping stratagies - we had large 4 bed house with huge garden & he was overwhelmed by DIY etc needed, he was advised to start a weekly diary - put down appointments, decide what jobs he was going to tackle & when - BUT not to "beat himself up" if he got up & said I don't fancy that today. It really helped him. At the depths of his depression he would not leave the house, I coped by going out on my own even if it was just into Town & "mooch" around the shops.

holdthetonic glad you're going to see GP, as has already been remarked don't rely on Alcohol (my DH did), try to get out, my salvation is gardening, very theraputic. I hope you find some answers, life changes when you give up work - I love it. I was my DH's Carer for 12 years, I took early Retirement to care for him. My life has entered a new chapter, now a Widow, moved house last year, nearer DD & DGS with another GC on the way, I've had some "down" days with the stress but live in a beautiful part of England. Sorry to hear of your Relationship problems, things will get better for you I'm sure

On that note I'm off to the Re-Cycling Centre with a car full of garden waste, it's sunny & I shall love the drive

Retiring from work is a huge change that takes time & organisation to adjust to. In my own case I found work helped me get distraction and a break from stresses at home, so left with just them & time without social contacts provided by work was upsetting & miserable.
I followed the advice given above about getting a new routine that involved contact with others outside home - exercise classes, voluntary work, church - whatever suits you best.It just gives you a break from home & provides social contact. Now, years on, I find that the new friends I made through doing this have become a network of support for each other as we get older and frailer.

I totally agree with Anya try self help first. Wouldn't let gp put you on pills straight away, that's an easy option for a lot of gps these days. Try one thing at a time and see if you can lift your mood. Hope you feel better soon .

Really good post Legs55. And sounds like your late DH had a very good psychologist. Sound advice IMO.

Thanks Tessa I was beginning to think I was a lone voice in the wilderness

I'm not agin getting help from GP for problems be they physical or emotional, but prefer to try to deal with them first myself. So far it's worked.

There are some who are at their GP surgery for colds, constipation, aches and pains, tummy upsets, dandruff (I kid you not) etc. when there are perfectly effective OTC medication available - and pharmacists are excellent sources of help too. Then there's Dr Google. And life style changes.

Common sense should dictate whether a condition requires a GP visit.

I'm not of course talking about all our well-informed and aware GNetters, but those I'm sure we all know who clutter up systems like A&E where a plaster would do the job

Sigh.

GPs in the main do not prescribe anti-depressants for no reason. It is not an "easy option" - it is a clinically proven treatment and the right option for many. The OP needs to know whether she is in that category before she can make decisions as to how to tackle this difficult phase of her life. You do not "let" your GP put you on medication - you take his/her advice (or not). Sometimes it is good to have a combination of strategies, but medication should not be seen as a bad thing per se - or, as many erroneously feel, a "giving in."

Self-help is good - it is the way forward for many; but not all. We cannot which category the OP falls into.

"we cannot KNOW"

Self-help is good - it is the way forward for many, but not all. We cannot (know?) which category the OP falls into.

Good post Lucky I agree with that.

Suggest you see your GP as a starting point.

Sounds like your counsellor didn't suit you. They are not all the same.

When you are feeling a little better you will be more able to deal with other problems. And be kind to yourself.

Lilyflower, I agree with your post, about finding small pleasures.

I read a very interesting article in yesterday's Telegraph about depression, being caused by the "inflammatory" hormones caused by stress.
www.telegraph.co.uk/women/health/are-we-thinking-about-depression-all-wrong/
Before you jump into the anti-depressant route, however useful, read this and think a bit...

I wonder if the varying views on GPs relate to people's personal experience? I don't visit the GP often but in the last 30 years I can only think of one helpful doctor, the rest have been fairly disinterested and unhelpful. My mother died because the GP failed to recognise pneumonia but maybe that was not unusual a while back.

Anyway if those who wholeheartedly embrace GP visits could give a hint as to what the best approach to be listened to might be, that would be really helpful.

I've just remembered the friend diagnosed with ovarian cancer last year who had to battle through 3 months of GP visits before she got taken seriously. Enough to make anyone head for Dr Google!

Azie your question is not directed at me as I rarely bother my GP with visits, but I am always taken seriously when I do go.

Perhaps this is because I visit so rarely? Or is is because when I do I won't be fobbed off?

You mention anxiety in your OP. Are you still suffering from that, along with the low mood? I think a visit to the doc's would be a good thing. They no longer give out drugs willy-nilly. Go and talk to him/her. And don't be afraid of modern day antidepressants. Many people have no side effects whatsoever. They just feel the benefit after the first couple of weeks.

Yes- get to doctor- most GPs now have counsellors attached to practice & you should not have to wait long to see one.
From much experience with DH's problems do NOT stop seeing whoever they suggest until you feel you no longer need them. It may be just a case of a session or 2 but don't rush onto pills unless you want to - talking therapies work very well in most cases.
Good luck- I will be thinking about you & wishing you well- which you soon will be.

To Azie09 I would say, a doctor can pick up on a person suffering from anxiety and depression as soon as they walk through the door.