Mental health - when and where to get help?

Hi, I do empathise. Totally agree with getting outdoors, I have to make myself do this: five minutes reasonably brisk walking every half an hour, I have a number of local routes from my front door. If I have time for more than I would go to a park with trees.
I have also just ordered an SAD lamp, for the first time, so I am renting it with a view to purchasing, just to give it a go. www.sad-lighthire.co.uk/products.php?pid=36#info My sister in law has one, and she says that it helps enormously

Depression is over medicated and you can do a lot to help yourself.

Apart from us who have you told? Tell a real friend or friends and get their support.

The medicine wheel says that people must be in balance so do the things it suggests;

something physical every day....gardening, walking cleaning, exercise

something spiritual every day..........music ...dancing....poetry..art....prayer...singing

something intellectual every day learn something new, read , theatre...bake a new recipe....challenge yourself with a craft...watch a documentary....debate with someone

something emotional....give thanks for all you have, be close with friends....volunteer with some project that needs you....watch a weepy film....or a comedy

don't be afraid of emotions.......

make sure you eat well

all of the above are inter-changeable of course........

but give your inner energies a bit of a shove towards freeing themselves up

Beware anti depressants even from the GP if you can avoid them and talking therapies can make things better or worse........it is company you need and friends and a purpose.......start that purpose as taking good care of yourself.........

Don't get too down we are here...........

But isn't it possible that sometimes a little green and yellow capsule can help to kick-start you into actually doing all, or some of, these helpful things. I suppose it depends how low you gave become.

I was a STRW (support time recovery worker) and whether you take the kick start or not the principles of self help still apply, nothing works if you don't work at it.

A massive percentage of the population are on anti depressants now which I find scary.

I have had anxiety and depression and it is horrendous.........and repetitive, it is life, which really sucks some of the time,sadly.

Learning to cope it the best we can do (medicated or not) I hate the feeling whee it is coming back to sit with me a while.

Support time recovery work, recognised by NHS assist people to regain what they can of their lives in the face of mental illness.

I wish my life had more purpose and do strive to find things where I can be of use.....regret is also a great joy inhibitor, then starting of self help is at least a start.

I wish you good luck with it because it is so debilitating.

If you had to say, wait a week for a GP appointment

I agree with BlueBelle. Counselling can be very helpful. A good, professionally (BAC) qualified person - i.e. one who has studied for years rather than days or weeks to qualify! - will allow you to see the wood for the trees and make your own decisions as to how best to move forward. Your GP can get you a referral which, if not free, will certainly cost you a lot less!

I had (post divorce) problems with my then teenage son. The counsellor saw us together. He felt treated like an equal by her. It made all the difference in the world to our relationship, and I shall always be grateful for her careful and sensitive handling of what was a difficult situation. N.B.If one counsellor doesn't suit you, get a referral to another.

Good luck and take care. Things will get better!

It is very dangerous to swing into automatic anti-medication mode. Most people on here are not medically qualified. Self help is fine once the GP has made a clear diagnosis; and the OP has made the sensible decision to speak to her GP before doing anything.

radicalnan - have you stopped to think how those who have to take anti-depressants or whose lives have been saved by them feel when they read posts like yours which make them feel bad about their life-saving treatment? Sadness can be cured with self-help; mild depression can be cured with a combination of self-help and medication; serious depressive illness is not going to respond to self-help alone. Thousands of people with serious depression die by their own hand. Are you prepared to be responsible for that by encouraging people to by-pass a proper diagnosis?

Nobody is talking anti-medication. But it's too easy to just dish out the 'Mothers' Little Helpers' .

Some GPs might be more cautious and offer alternative advice, which often tallies with other self-help advice on this thread, but too many just reach for the prescription pad still. Some anti-depressants actually raise the risk of suicide,

Some people find it hard to get counselling either because of a long waiting list or they feel too shy to talk to a stranger. When I found myself in this position I took some time out to imagine what I would advise if a friend was in the same position. It's especially difficult dealing with children who are becoming teen-agers. You need to be a bit selfish and take your mind off things
I joined a choir and whilst not a great singer found it didn't matter when you sing with a group and helped me back off a little I'm my children's lives and made me less anxious

Have had depression on and off since 17. It's a funny beast, there have even hard times in my life and yet I've not been depressed, then at times when life was good I have been in the blackest despair . It may well be circumstance that is making you low, but if things worsen or continue do see your gp. Ask your family to keep a check, I don't always notice if I'm sliding towards a bout, but my daughter in particular picks up on it ( it takes DH a bit longer, natch! )

PS anti depressants have literally made my life liveable , anyone who does need them don't ever feel weak or as if you are not 'trying hard enough' , no one would suggest a diabetic manages without insulin , mental health drugs are no different.

Hear, hear Nanna58!

Would speak to your GP, hopefully she/he is a good one. As for anti-depressants, I found they didn't help at all. Gave me shaky hands and made me feel more on edge. Tried private counsellors, wasn't helpful as found them rather wet. The one that worked for me was an NHS online CBT course that I accessed through GP. Had regular contact with psychologist at local hospital. Practical, helpful.

Sorry to hear u are feeling down keeping active always helps plus joining a group. Sticking to activities that gave you a buzz when you were feeling well is best. So if singing was your thing try and join a choir etc or contacting friends for a natter. For some of us working on a DIY project lifts our mood a nice yellow bedroom perhaps. The main thing is to share your concerns and to take baby steps to improve your mood. Best of luck.

Crafticat - it depends where you live
Candlefran. - it depends upon the doctor

Generalisations don't really help.

Wishing holdthetonic and everyone with similar concerns all the best. Gransnet can often provide huge and varied support and encouragement.

Got to agree with Elrel, keep on GN you will get annoyed you will get angry but you will soon realize that their is a lot of sadness and the forums will also be help full in the simplest of ways.

I'm finding all this advice really helpful and interesting. Thank you all for taking the time to reply. I'll update you on what happens.. in case anyone is interested !

Thank goodness we never have to go back to a time before medicine was available , when you could die from a scratch or a chest infection . I despair at the anti medication brigade , it is not `giving in` or being weak fgs ! holdthetonic go to the GP , they will know from experience if you are truly depressed or just need to make some lifestyle changes .
The St Johns Wort you buy from `health food shops` is also man made/altered , how do you think it ends up in those little bottles !

Perhaps it's a wee bit unfair to use the old phrase "mother's little helpers". Things have moved on considerably since the valium usage of the seventies and eighties. Today's ssri's are a different kettle of fish altogether, thank goodness.

Retiring is a huge life change. You need some one to talk over with your how you are going to build a life that gives you the same satisfactions. Yes your GP may help but I do not think you will be top of the list.. I suggest you find a therapist who uses brief counselling methods so that you can look at what's worth while and how to build a life that brings you satisfaction.

One place to look is on the Institute of Human givens Site
www.hgi.org.uk/find-therapist

Healthy Minds are brilliant and might really help you. You could just ring them no referral needed from a doctor. Self referral.

I've stayed off this thread because it's too close to home at the moment. I have a very near and dear relative who has been suffering from depression for four years. Deep, dark overwhelming depression. The sort where staying alive every day is a struggle.

He believes in self-help, as do his family insofar as it's possible, but we were beside ourselves when well meaning friends 'encouraged' him by telling him not to 'resort' (verb: turn to and adopt (a course of action, especially an extreme or undesirable one ) to medication. Instead, mindfulness, counselling, St. John's Wort and yoga were all recommended by people who thought they knew what was needed. Meanwhile, those of us who do know him really well were desperate for him to see a GP and were praying that he would get medication. He finally, and with great reluctance, did go to his GP and was given antidepressants.

Recently things have been so bad that he asked his family to step in and help him to stay alive. After intervention from family members he has now been seen by a specialist mental health team: they have prescribed a different medication, long-term intensive CBT with a very senior clinical psychologist, a full psychiatric review, and he's also been deemed in need of regular supervision from the Mental Health Professional at his surgery. All much to the surprise of his friends who are now saying how shocked they are because they didn't realise that things were so serious!

My point is that however well meaning we might be, a GP is usually the person most qualified to assess and diagnose appropriate courses of action for someone presenting with symptoms of depression or anxiety. Go and see your GP holdthetonic, then come back on here and tell us how we can help you to keep your head above water.

Well said, ga. for you and your poorly relation.

This is exactly what I have been trying to convey ga - TBH I know that without the medication I was given two years ago I might not be here now. My dear relatives were supporting me with everything they had and I was surrounded by love and care - but that could not make things better, because I was ill. All the patience and talking therapies in the world cannot cure someone with severe depression.

Diagnosis is the key. Let us hope that the OP is just going through a difficult life patch - but no-one on here can know that and our job is to encourage her to get a proper diagnosis.

ga - I am sorry that you have the worry of a sick relative and I hope that the proper help will be forthcoming.

Excellent advice, grannyactivist.

I've suffered clinical depression for all my adult life and I've had a couple of very serious wobblies. There is no magic wand, but the condition can be managed. However, the way I manage it is probably not the right way for others. The trouble with giving advice is that people can end up feeling a failure if it doesn't work. Some people feel very strongly that one method or other is the right way and can end up making others feeling that they didn't try hard enough, whether it be mindfulness, CBT or whatever.

Nevertheless, there is some excellent advice on here. One thing I would say, holdthetonic, is that you're already part-way to helping yourself, because you've already identified what's causing you to feel low. A CBT therapist would probably tell you to address those issues, while a mindfulness therapist would probably tell you to try and appreciate the 'here and now' by savouring moments which make you happy. You could end up spending a fortune on therapists to explore your issues only to be told what you already know.

Medication can and does help, but it can't solve problems. ADs work best when you get so low that you can't get to the situation you're in now, but see a GP and be totally honest about how awful you feel. If there's a GP in your practice you feel might be more sympathetic than others, it might be worth hanging on a bit longer to see him/her.

Positive vibes to you, holdthetonic

In case anyone is interested here's a quick update on my situation.
I saw the GP and he was v helpful and has suggested CBT. Not surprisingly there are long waits to see anyone either on NHS or privately. However, I've started having some telephone counselling which is available via DH's private medical insurance so that should help whilst I'm waiting for my CBT appointment.
THANK you all again for your support.