Daughter has breast cancer

Silver lining there are different treatments for different cancers I can't recommend breast cancer forum I enough I found it very supportive
My treatment was biopsy then grading I had two tumours so mastectomy followed by chemo which started sept 14 finished jan15 no further treatment for my type of cancer
See surgeon and oncologist yearly mammogram yearly I am able to access breast nurses if I have any worries you can email me if you want . Hope your daughter soon gets plan sorted as it is always better when plan on place . Take care .?

Silverlininn the word cancer is always a shock. The C word is associated with many, many different diseases that have many different patterns. Some are very serious and some are not.
I had a breast cancer removed when I was in my 40s - about 20 years ago.
It was a hard lump, about the size of a mint imperial. I had a partial mastectomy.
I then had radiotherapy and tamoxifen. I consider myself to have been cured.
The statistics are very good for cancers that have not spread beyond the immediate area of the lump.
Once they have the lab results they will tell her what other treatment they recommend. But this news does not sound to me like any cause for huge alarm. Any more than if she had had a dodgy mole removed.
One of the most difficult things when I had my treatment was coping with the emotions of others - particularly my mother, because she was such a worrier.
It is possible she is not as worried as you are - people respond very differently. For some a diagnosis like this stops them in their tracks and others are very matter of fact and treat it as just damned inconvenient.
The hard thing is to get over your own shock, and take your cue from your daughter. I have also had experience of life threatening ill health in my own adult kids. You have to take your cue from them about how they would like you to react.

I can assure you that cancer care in Germany is very good and as you said there is not a lot of waiting about for letters of referral or information. A woman of her age will have the best care and English is no barrier for Germany doctors.
A lot of what they get to read is in English

You said you needed to go to see her. What part of Germany is that?

I'm sure you can't wait to put your arms around your daughter silverlining. From your name I'm sure you must be a positive person and I wish your daughter, you and all your family the best of outcomes.

Like everyone here, I sympathise with you. It is a shock but not a cause for despair. A very close friend of my daughter was also diagnosed with breast cancer and has survived and thrived after successful treatment. As has been suggested, talk to one of the charities who has a help and support line. It is what they are there for and should provide answers and perspective. I wish you all the luck in the world at this difficult time. Don't despair.

Thank you to you all. I have been in touch with macmillan and am waiting for a nurse to get back to me, and will see my gp later. Macmillan gave me a number my daughter in germany (berlin) can ring for her to speak directly to a macmillan nurse which is very reassuring and can send information leaflets which i hope arent too scary.

A friend emailed today complaining her life is boring, nothing changing, i replied to say boring is great, fantastic, marvellous...if only...because you can do something about boring, but all is still well. A week ago i was in total ignorance of what awaited our return from a special holiday. I thought i just had the washing etc to deal with, boring stuff, how i wish that were the case. My world has turned upside down.
Wishing you all a boring, but a safe and happy day.

I can remember thinking "all I want to be is normal"

Normal is good. You will be normal again, you just have a grotty period in front of you.

Wishing you and your daughter a speedy return to boring normal.

Totally agree about normal. Humdrum is lovely. We never stop worrying about offspring.

I am so sorry to read of your daughter's diagnosis - it must be a huge shock to you all.

Perhaps a tiny piece of help may be to understand that German cancer treatment is (from the experience of only one friend but nevertheless) wonderful.

Diagnosis and treatment is speedy and very expensive drugs are given there which are just not available in the UK. She really will be in good hands. Many German doctors will speak English fluently and be able to explain the most technical terms, so there is little need to worry on this score.

I wish your daughter and your family a wonderful outcome.

So sorry that your daughter has breast cancer. The treatments now are so advanced and her prognosis sounds promising. I don't know if it would help you to contact Breast Friends as I am sure they will answer any questions you might have. You will feel better once you see her. Wishing her a speedy recovery.

Just want to add my sympathies and encouragement to the posts. It is a terrible shock when cancer is diagnosed, and sometimes being very close to the person as you are is almost worse. The cancer patient gets focused on their treatment while their loved ones can only stand by and watch. We have had a lot of cancer in our family, so I understand your feeling of shock and helplessness so well.

I also was diagnosed with BC 10 years ago. I remember that feeling of the ground falling away beneath me. But it sounds like your DD's has been identified and treated early which always improves the prognosis. There are such effective treatments available now that outcomes have become very good. Look at how many of us are coming in here to give our experience.

There are different forms of BC so treatment, as others have said, depend on the type of cancer your DD has. As there was no spread, I had lumpectomy, radiotherapy and 5 years on a drug called anastrozole as the cancer was caused by high oestrogen and progesterone levels. And here I am still cancer free. ?

Your DD sounds as if she has a good support system. You, though, need support and Macmillan have lots of helpful info. We have a centre here in Belfast who provide wonderful support to family as well as patients. I also recommend Breastcancercare website. They have a facility where you can speak to a BC nurse to talk about worries.

I hope you are able to see DD soon and you can give each other a big, gentle hug. Positive thoughts going out to you both. Do keep in touch with us for some virtual TLC!

Thank you all, my daughter is going back into hospital today for a further operation tomorrow to remove more of the tumour to allow for a margin of healthy tissue. We hoped to have been able to book flights and be with her but in the few days my husband Has been tested for prostate cancer and since visiting the gp last week he has seen a consultant and had tests at the local hospital and was called for an mri yesterday, saturday. All this in less than a week, we are impressed of course and very much appreciate the speedy service we have had from the nhs, but also wonder if there may be a reason why this has been so quick..we await the mri results.
This has come as a terrible shock that both my husband and daughter are in this position, and am doing the best i can to stay sane.
Thanks again for your good wishes.

Oh Silverlining how very difficult for you. Keeping my fingers crossed for both your DD and DH.

I feel for you Silverlining having been through similar - but not both at the same time. My son who lives abroad was treated for cancer 10+ years ago, and I can still vividly remember my feelings from that time. He is fine now. My DH has also more recently been diagnosed with an aggresive type of prostate cancer, but treatments for this can be very effective these days and a couple of years down the line he is doing very well, finished treatment, bloodtests stable. The key is to discuss treatments with the professionals once you have all the info from tests - we found the specialist nurse very helpful. There are various options and you need, with advice, to choose the best one for you. Wish you and your family all the best.

Oh my goodness. Hope you have friends who can give you a hug and listen. Don't be afraid to ask them for support.

Heavens - I am so sorry that you have more to contend with. I can only send good wishes. Thank goodness for the NHS and good European health services.

We had been told that our daughter would be treated by radiotherapy but she has now been told it will be 5 months of chemotherapy. A blow. This will start in the next few days. It has all been so very quick, such s lot to take in in Just a few weeks.

My husband has a biopsy procedure on friday and we hVe booked flights for next week. I will be very happy to see her snd give her a big hug snd am trying very hard to be positive and have hope that all will be well. Not always easy in the wee small hours.

If i could take this on instead of her i woukd do so in a heartbeat.

I am so glad that you have your tickets and are ready to fly out and grab a really good hug with your DD. I am sure that you cannot wait.

I do know what you mean about wanting to do it for her - we all feel like that but the next best thing is to be her rock, which I know you will be.

Thanks a lot luckygirl, i appreciate your supposrt and will do my best go keep it all together and give my girl the support she needs and deserves.

Good luck to your daughter. Your support will be much needed in the next while. I know you will be strong for her but remember to have your own support system in place. It is so difficult to see your children suffering.

Wouldn't we all just step up to volunteer to take a daughter's place? Keep strong, silverining sometimes the strain on the nearest and dearest seems as trying as the illness itself
I am sure she will be buoyed up by having her loving family with her and from what previous posters have said, she will be in the best of hands.
Not forgetting your DH of course - good luck and warmest wishes to him too.
What a burden you have to bear at the moment

Just catching up with your thread sliverlining48.

So sorry to hear about your DD's recent diagnosis and wish her a very speedy recovery. I am sure you will feel a tiny little bit better when you have been able to see her and give her a cuddle.

Your comments about "things being normal" really struck me and made me wonder. What's wrong with things being normal? Boring even? I bet you would give anything to have nothing to think/worry about at the moment and must wonder when things will begin to be "normal" again. Do try hard to remember that bad things happen to people all the time and they do eventually pass, although I know it's hard to think ahead at worrying times such as these. Sending you and your DD lots and lots of

My daughter is having to go back into hospital for a third operation next wednesday. her chemtherapy which booked to begin for only a few days later. She is so brave and trying to be positive, but 3 operations? Is that usual?
We fly out on Thursday and will go straight to the hospital. Its so hard to cope with
But thats what i must do.

Thinking of you silverlining. I am sure the fact that she will have had 3 procedures in a short space of time is not necessarily sinister. Better to need them and HAVE them than not. Try to think of the surgery, not as the problem, but as a solution.
Good luck to her and to you