I work full time in the NHS. I regularly work 10 or 11 hour days just to meet the demands of the job. Yes I get the time back but of course when I take the time off I then am behind again so it never balances out. I'm a very good problem solver (even though I say so myself) and that's what I'm paid to do. Friends say I am a great friend and can be relied on to be the first there for them. My problem is it seems I care too much.
In 2017 so far... a very close family member was in a bad car smash that was lucky not to claim their life, my best friend of many many years was so ill she was at death's door and I sat with her at those times. She's been told she has months at best left to live. Another very close friend is also very ill and relies on me for emotional support. I have a mother with dementia who is in a care home. She was always a very demanding woman when well and the dementia has only made it worse. I have a husband who doesn't 'do' emotion and if I try to talk feelings to him I'm told how lucky I am and that my problem is I don't know how to relax and sit still. Problem is if I don't do it it doesn't get done. Ok when it doesn't affect me but when there are serious repercussions if bills are not paid then doing nothing is not an option. My daughter only ever seems to call me for advice when she has a crisis. At the minute I just want to lock myself in a cupboard, hug my knees to my chest and stare at the wall. I feel totally burnt out. I've given so much for so long that the storehouse is empty. The media is full of how wonderful NHS get it and the generous sick pay we have! Well that's a total laugh. I was off last winter with a serious infection so if I were to go to my GP now and get signed off I'd find myself in front of an attendance management panel where I'd get a warning about my attendance. I just needed to rant and here seemed as good a place. I'd so welcome any coping advice any of you lovely folk could offer.
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