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DH in such pain!

(93 Posts)
Synonymous Thu 02-Nov-17 00:46:01

I am just having a whinge, I know nobody can do anything so do forgive me but I need someone to talk to. Somebody may remember that my DH was involved in a road crash at the beginning of this year and was horribly injured.
Just helped DH into bed a couple of hours ago, dosed him up with painkillers and left him to hopefully fall asleep but no joy so far. In years gone by he would probably have had his leg taken off as a matter of course but they have done so much work on him to save it and it seemed to be coming on really well. He can no longer even put his foot to the floor and has been in such pain for the last couple of days that he is now saying that he wished they had taken off his leg and I am at my wits end trying to help him. His leg is twitching so much with the pain even when in his sleep. X-rays show that there is still not much healing going on in there and the surgeon says another 6 - 9 months before the bones will be healed. All the other injuries have healed fairly well but this was the worst and the surgeon did say that this particular one is the worst it gets so I suppose it is no surprise that the pain is so bad. I suppose it is just the feeling of utter helplessness in the face of a loved one's pain and trying to remain calm and encouraging at the same time as being helpful. But I don't seem to be able to help him. He is on very strong painkillers so doubt if there is anything else that he could be given. He does not want to go back into hospital as he says he can't sleep at all in there, won't let me call a doctor. I suppose there must come a time when painkillers become less effective. I think that might be preferable to him perhaps having damaged it in some way by putting too much weight on it. He was told to try and come off the crutches and you do hope that you are doing the right thing but it is just not possible to really know.
I know, I am just sounding off - and you don't know any more than I do!! I suppose I am just tired and a bit weary with it all. It has been a very long year. If this carries on much longer I think I must just do what I feel needs doing and get some help in. Don't even know if I should post this as it seems very self indulgent. hmm

annsixty Fri 03-Nov-17 23:44:45

So sorry that things have taken another turn Synonymous and at the moment you do not know if is for the better.
I hope you get some answers tomorrow.
It is a very worrying time for you both and I suspect not for the first or last time.
All best wishes to you both.

MissAdventure Fri 03-Nov-17 23:53:27

I'm sorry your husband is having such a rough time, synonymous. Hopefully they are just covering all angles by having the theatre booked, though I suspect a bone infection is a serious issue, if that's what is causing the pain. How awful for you both.

Synonymous Sat 04-Nov-17 01:32:33

Little sis has arrived! smile Going to bed now and hoping for a positive day tomorrow today. Thank you for kind messages. x

Newquay Sat 04-Nov-17 09:07:43

Hang on in there Syn. So glad sister has appeared. Hope all goes well. . . . For you and DH.

MawBroon Sat 04-Nov-17 09:15:13

Positive vibes from me too synonymous I know how a hospital readmission can be both depressing and a relief st the same time.
I hope the nil by mouth is just a precaution and am sure they will look at every option before any action taken, but if there is a bone infection I imagine the fear is that it might spread.
Good luck anyway and I am glad you have company and family support.

Morgana Sat 04-Nov-17 10:10:24

Oh dear Synonymous. It is the not knowing that is worst. Hoping that the doctors are sorting him out. Use your sister's time with you to rest and De stress as much as possible. Thinking of all of you caring for a loved one.

Luckygirl Sat 04-Nov-17 10:25:18

Synonimous - I hope that your OH gets something sorted soon.

loopyloo Sat 04-Nov-17 13:24:58

In a way I am glad he is back in hospital and I hope he is well looked after. Try to get some rest yourself. I hope it's not too far a journey to the hospital. All the best.

cornergran Sat 04-Nov-17 14:17:00

Hope you get some positive news today synonymous, hospital readmissikns do tend to have us looking on the negative side. I’m really pleased your sister is with you for support. Hang on in there.

MissAdventure Sat 04-Nov-17 14:27:52

Sometimes a hospital visit is the best catalyst to get things properly sorted out, and the pain under control. As long as you are not making a constant fuss, you are likely to assumed to be managing things comfortably.

lemongrove Sat 04-Nov-17 14:40:40

Only just seen this thread Synonymous what a time you have both had!
Make sure that you know exactly what is happening with your DH in the hospital, also try and get as much rest as you can while he is in there.flowers

Willow500 Sat 04-Nov-17 14:46:53

Oh gosh just catching up on this - really hope the assessment goes well and they don't operate unnecessarily but if your husband is in so much pain it might be the best option to sort it out once and for all. Hope you managed to get some sleep last night and your sister is on hand to give you some TLC too!

MontanaGal Sat 04-Nov-17 15:42:15

Dear Synonomous, you were wise to call DH's dr to get much needed help for him. I hope they find the reason he is in such pain and can treat it. So happy your little sister could come to stay with you. It will give you a much needed bit of rest to have her there with you.
Hope DH is on the mend very soon.
Hugs to you, your DH and your sister.

A big thanks to all Gransnet posters who give so much support and good advice. You provide a comfort to all in need of sage advice.

Eloethan Sat 04-Nov-17 22:01:28

I hope something can be done to ease your husband's pain. Best wishes to both of you.

Synonymous Mon 06-Nov-17 16:38:42

There has been no operation to date but the tests indicate infection which they are hitting with strong antibiotics. He has been on a drip for 4 days so far. Just pray with me that that will sort it out and there will be no need for surgery. The surgeon said that would be the last resort.
Little sis has already gone home. She doesn't do domestic duties, but I didn't ask for help and she clearly has her own problems and lots on her mind. Nuff said. sad I have left her bed made up and told her that is so that she can come for another visit if she wants to very soon. We shall see. She needs more than I can give just at the moment.
Cleaner unwell and not coming again so I have left a message with a cleaning company I have used previously so hopefully someone will get back to me soon. The house is ok but I just don't want it to need anything major and I can't do it myself anyway. I am trying to keep a good routine and do something and then rest for a while, pacing they tell me. smile I am so fortunate to have everything I need and my freezer, fridge and cupboards full. DH in pretty good spirits even though I have not been in to see him for two days as I háve no energy to do it but we are both on the same network so I can ring him on the mobile whenever I want as the calls are free. It is a waiting game now.

loopyloo Mon 06-Nov-17 19:48:57

Well I hope you have a good night's sleep and tomorrow brings better news. Take care.

Morgana Tue 07-Nov-17 12:34:31

Just leave the house work. Most important now is to look after your own health and of course that of your husband. Hoping and praying that you all have a good outcome.

Synonymous Tue 07-Nov-17 14:00:05

Change of antibiotics today as markers still up. DH will clearly remain there for a while yet. Spoke on the mobile this morning and he doesn't sound too good, hope he is a bit better by the time I get there this afternoon. Thank you for support, much appreciated.

Newquay Wed 08-Nov-17 23:13:48

So hope he's on the mend. Is the hospital far away, can you drive yourself and how's the parking? DH was in and out of hospital over spring and summer. It is v wearing so you must look after yourself too. Glad you can speak on mob-signal was rubbish where DH was. You feel so much better if you can just hear his voice and find out how he is.

grannyqueenie Thu 09-Nov-17 01:08:56

Sorry to hear you are having such a worrying time just now. I hope the new medication improves things and they can get the problem sorted without an operation. Thinking of you.

MontanaGal Thu 09-Nov-17 01:42:35

Synonymous, thinking of you and your husband. Hope he recovers very soon. Take care of yourself too.??

Synonymous Sun 12-Nov-17 21:17:52

It has been a very long 10 days but I am so thankful to have DH back home. He has loads of antibiotics and strong pain killers which are making him feel pretty rough. There is infection in the metal implants so they are trying to supress that so the bones can heal properly and then they will be able to operate to remove the metal. Apparently it is not possible to clear that kind of infection so it has to be taken out to avoid any other flare ups. It is going to be a long job so we are going to have to be as kind and as gentle with ourselves as possible and hopefully all will go well. At least if the metal comes out then the foot will have a chance of returning to the normal size which will be such a blessing. I hope that by next summer this will be over and we might get a holiday. Thank you for the support and encouragement. smile

cornergran Sun 12-Nov-17 22:48:58

Goodness, what a time you have both had. I hope you can both have a good nights rest and that you have sufficient help at home for your husbands recovery period. Please take care of yourself as well as your husband. Wishing him a comfortable and speedy recovery from the infection.

Morgana Sun 12-Nov-17 23:01:01

Relieved that things are moving in the right direction now. Take any help offered!

MontanaGal Mon 13-Nov-17 01:50:03

Dear Synonymous, So happy to hear that your husband is back home. Hope the antibiotics and pain meds work so that he can rest and heal quickly.
My best to both of you, and will keep you in my thoughts.