I am just having a whinge, I know nobody can do anything so do forgive me but I need someone to talk to. Somebody may remember that my DH was involved in a road crash at the beginning of this year and was horribly injured.
Just helped DH into bed a couple of hours ago, dosed him up with painkillers and left him to hopefully fall asleep but no joy so far. In years gone by he would probably have had his leg taken off as a matter of course but they have done so much work on him to save it and it seemed to be coming on really well. He can no longer even put his foot to the floor and has been in such pain for the last couple of days that he is now saying that he wished they had taken off his leg and I am at my wits end trying to help him. His leg is twitching so much with the pain even when in his sleep. X-rays show that there is still not much healing going on in there and the surgeon says another 6 - 9 months before the bones will be healed. All the other injuries have healed fairly well but this was the worst and the surgeon did say that this particular one is the worst it gets so I suppose it is no surprise that the pain is so bad. I suppose it is just the feeling of utter helplessness in the face of a loved one's pain and trying to remain calm and encouraging at the same time as being helpful. But I don't seem to be able to help him. He is on very strong painkillers so doubt if there is anything else that he could be given. He does not want to go back into hospital as he says he can't sleep at all in there, won't let me call a doctor. I suppose there must come a time when painkillers become less effective. I think that might be preferable to him perhaps having damaged it in some way by putting too much weight on it. He was told to try and come off the crutches and you do hope that you are doing the right thing but it is just not possible to really know.
I know, I am just sounding off - and you don't know any more than I do!! I suppose I am just tired and a bit weary with it all. It has been a very long year. If this carries on much longer I think I must just do what I feel needs doing and get some help in. Don't even know if I should post this as it seems very self indulgent. 
Little sis has arrived! 
Going to bed now and hoping for a positive day tomorrow today. Thank you for kind messages. x
Only just seen this thread Synonymous what a time you have both had!
Make sure that you know exactly what is happening with your DH in the hospital, also try and get as much rest as you can while he is in there.
There has been no operation to date but the tests indicate infection which they are hitting with strong antibiotics. He has been on a drip for 4 days so far. Just pray with me that that will sort it out and there will be no need for surgery. The surgeon said that would be the last resort.
Little sis has already gone home. She doesn't do domestic duties, but I didn't ask for help and she clearly has her own problems and lots on her mind. Nuff said. 
I have left her bed made up and told her that is so that she can come for another visit if she wants to very soon. We shall see. She needs more than I can give just at the moment.
Cleaner unwell and not coming again so I have left a message with a cleaning company I have used previously so hopefully someone will get back to me soon. The house is ok but I just don't want it to need anything major and I can't do it myself anyway. I am trying to keep a good routine and do something and then rest for a while, pacing they tell me. I am so fortunate to have everything I need and my freezer, fridge and cupboards full. DH in pretty good spirits even though I have not been in to see him for two days as I háve no energy to do it but we are both on the same network so I can ring him on the mobile whenever I want as the calls are free. It is a waiting game now.
It has been a very long 10 days but I am so thankful to have DH back home. He has loads of antibiotics and strong pain killers which are making him feel pretty rough. There is infection in the metal implants so they are trying to supress that so the bones can heal properly and then they will be able to operate to remove the metal. Apparently it is not possible to clear that kind of infection so it has to be taken out to avoid any other flare ups. It is going to be a long job so we are going to have to be as kind and as gentle with ourselves as possible and hopefully all will go well. At least if the metal comes out then the foot will have a chance of returning to the normal size which will be such a blessing. I hope that by next summer this will be over and we might get a holiday. Thank you for the support and encouragement.
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