homelessness

Do not accommodate your son. If he returns to you he will never leave. He will not be seen as a priority and you will be seen as his carer so there will be no help from Social Services or NHS. You will not have a life and you may well die earlier due to the stress and strain of looking after him and negotiating care for him.

He needs to get into the appropriate sheltered housing. and most of all he needs to be with his own peer group.

So sorry you are facing these problems. do hope you can stay strong and negotiate now. All the best.

To be realistic, I doubt if there will be any help from the NHS or social services either way. The whole thing seems to be disintegrating under pressure of cuts and arbitrary targets

It's easy for me to say don't take him in because he's not my son but as other posters have said he'll never get his own place if he's living with you. DH has mental health problems, he's OK at the moment but we've had some difficult times that have dragged me down and I suffer from low-level depression (although I've never owned up to this or had treatment). It's hard treading on eggshells and living with unpredictable reactions to events. Our NHS mental health support ended when DH became 60 so we're more or less on our own (apart from supportive DDs). You don't say what your son's problems are but if he's estranged from so many people he must be difficult to deal with. He needs/deserves support but be careful.

Optimist.....So sorry to learn of your difficult dilemma. My first question is 'how serious are your son's mental issues?' Is he struggling alone without any counseling or professional help? Does he alienate others because he's confrontational? How confrontational is he? Belligerent, aggressive, angry, or violent? Worst of all....Could he ever pose a danger to himself or others?

In your situation, I would take much of the advice given here. Exhaust every resource available to get your son the help he needs. For the moment, he needs professional help and a safe place to live, preferably not your's.

A move back home should be a last resort, to be considered only when all other options have been exhausted. If it does come to that, he should be under the constant care of a mental health professional while he is living under your roof.

The goal should be for him to regain his mental stability; so he can hold a steady job, be independent and ultimately move to his own place when the time comes.

I so hope things work out for the best.

Hugs, Willa

All the posters who talk of all this help , support and housing etc are living in cloud cuckoo land . Really there is NO help available( or housing) whether you have mental health problems or not . The best you will get is medication and the odd appointment with a `therapist` . Has nobody noticed all the homeless people sleeping in doorways, most of whom have mental health issues . I find it unbelievable that people are not aware of the situation in this country in 2017 . We really have gone back to Victorian times with regard to looking after vulnerable members of our society .

This is exactly what I fear happening, almost inevitable. Good to hear from someone else in a similar position. Thank you.

This is exactly what I fear happening, almost inevitable. Good to hear from someone else in a similar position. Thank you.

This is exactly what I fear happening, almost inevitable. Good to hear from someone else in a similar position. Thank you.

This is exactly what I fear happening, almost inevitable. Good to hear from someone else in a similar position. Thank you.

This is exactly what I fear happening, almost inevitable. Good to hear from someone else in a similar position. Thank you.

This is exactly what I fear happening, almost inevitable. Good to hear from someone else in a similar position. Thank you.

This is exactly what I fear happening, almost inevitable. Good to hear from someone else in a similar position. Thank you.

f77ms your post is almost exactly a mirror of mine. I can’t believe that people still think there’s help ‘out there’. While I’d be delighted to find that some areas of the country still have a functioning MH service, I think it’s true to say you and I know the reality,

Talking of posts that are mirrors of each other... optimist definitely agrees with him/herself!

Sorry........dont know how to delete all but one of my last messages!

This discussion reminds me of a thread on here some time ago. Many of us wished there was still the option of the protected environment of the old hospitals for mentally vulnerable people.

You havent mentioned what type of mental health issues he has? Not sure if this way it will work, dont invite him to stay up with you no not directly, call him up for some petty tasks during the day am sure he wont deny. Get him to do simple chores for you and let him have lunch with you. Make his presence known as a carer for you. Thats how it should be. He should be taking care of you. Achieving simple tasks will definately help him and keep his mind occupied. DO NOT ASSUME THE ROLE OF CARER YOURSELF!

You haven’t given us any idea of your financial situation . Life is always easier with a bit of finance behind you. For example could you fund a small cabin in your garden for him to move into? Close but separate.