Stroke

Oh gilly, life's a bugger sometimes isn't it. I have no advice for you really just to say that I didn't want to read and run.

DS 1 had a stroke 10 years ago (aged 35) while living in Japan. He came home here after 6 months and got the most fantastic care and all types of support and investigations so I imagine your Dh will too.

I used a website called Different Strokes (which is for younger stroke survivor's) but try the Stroke Association too. And talk to us whenever you need too.

You must be feeling worried and scared but there will be lots of people along soon who can offer better advice.

Aww gillybob, life can be a bit rubbish at times but he will be in good hands now. Not much help but I do wish him a speedy recovery and do please look after yourself too.

gillybob so sorry to read this. All I can offer is to say that your husband has been very lucky so far. Perhaps good news (comparatively speaking) comes out of the consultant appointment. You have to keep your wits about you - and you will.

Oh gillybob I am so sorry for you.
What an awful thing to happen especially when you were away. You really should have got him to hospital but I suspect you know that yourself.
Worrying about the business is the last thing you need.
You are going to have to sit down with him and discuss just getting rid of it.
I'm sorry but you may have no choice, can you run it on your own? If not you have your answer,
Isn't life so unfair just when you had the new baby to look forward to, this happens?

So sorry you have this huge pressure gilly, please remember it’s important to think about yourself and your own health too. Is ann right and this is the final straw for your business? I know you won’t want to think about it right now. Hoping for a positive outcome from the consultants report. Sending love to you both.

Gillybob, I have just read this and feel so sorry to hear the news about your DH. Do you have family support nearby? I can only offer sympathy and prayers to you and DH. Do take care and accept all that is offered in this stressful time. {{{hugs}}}

I’m afraid it’s over to you now gillybob. Take control. Tell your husband he must forget about the business for the next few days and that you will keep things going.

Take as much pressure off him as possible. Strokes can be very serious, as I expect you know. Be firm with him, it’s for the best in the long term.

Good luck.

Gillybob just as life could not get much worse, it does.
I am so sorry to hear your news.
On the plus side, this “warning” if followed by the right medication may remain just that. Was it a clot or a bleed?
I hate to sound so prosaic and I am in no way dismissing your business commitments but you and the family must sit down together and face the possible ways forward.
It is not crossing bridges until you come to them to have a plan, even if it is not ideal and it is better to have a plan you have thought out than to be plunged into an even worse crisis. There is good advice regarding recovery from strokes and help you can get but do also speak to someone with accounting or business experience too to see what your way forward there might be.
Dare I say do NOT attempt to shoulder this one alone, your own health would inevitably suffer.
Wishing you a positive outcome

Actually Maw I do agree with what you’re saying. I was only thinking of gilly shouldering the burden in the very short term (rest of week) to take the strain off her husband and to keep things ticking over. I remember her saying the business was their only means of income being self employed.

This is awful news - your poor OH - and you must be so very worried.

Please please file for bankruptcy and get this business off your backs. It is making you both so ill. I know there are employees to consider, but you both matter too. Sorry to be so blunt, but this is a warning shot across the bows. Neither of you can continue at this pace.

I do hope the scans show something that can be treated to prevent further trouble. I am thinking of you both.

yes you have to put your work worries to one side - Know that is easier said than done - is there someone on the staff who could act up as temporary manager? Are there benefits you'd be entitled to? Best wishes to you both.

gillybob I am so sorry to hear about your husband. I hope he is getting some proper care now. As Kittylester says the Stroke association can be a great source of support and advice.

So so sorry to hear. Yes the Stroke Association is a fabulous support org. Bonne chance x

Oh, gillybob this must feel like a nightmare.
Like many on here I've kept up with the story of your business.
I've often wanted to say to you (one of my favourite mantras)
Don't rescue to the extent where you have to be rescued.
I think you know in your heart that this time has come.
I've been in situations, not as bad as yours, where I've thought: if I'm not there it's all going to fall apart. But you know what, it doesn't. Other people will step in and go the extra mile to help, just as you would if the tables were reversed.
If you want to be at the hospital, you be there.
I hope I haven't offended, my thoughts are well intended towards you and your husband.

No advice, no experience just a huge hug and . Sometimes I just think that the strong people get far more than their share to cope with.

So sorry to hear your news, gilly. It's a cruel blow.

I agree with Luckygirl about filing for bankruptcy if you can see no way ahead where the business is concerned. Once the stroke diagnosis/rehab machine gets into gear you will have your hands full with your DH's treatment and recovery.

My best wishes

I’m very sorry to hear this, gillybob.
I can only echo others in their recommendation of contacting the Stroke Association. Their advice and support has been invaluable to me.

So sorry to hear this gilly. No advice but just wishing your DH well and as others have said look after yourself .

Very frightening for both of you Gilly.
First things first - your husband's health, and yours.
I'm sure the consultant will prescribe some treatment which PG will help to prevent a further stroke.
Thinking of you both.

I'd echo what merlot said about the amount of time taken up by rehab, tests, more tests, physio etc if they are necessary. One memorable day I took DS for 3 appointments - one at the GP surgery and 2 different hospitals. A good book is worth it's weight in gold.....or GN on your phone!!

I am so sorry to hear this gillybob and I hope your DH gets the appropriate treatment very promptly - it can make all the difference.

Is there someone at work who can hold the fort for you while you decide what to do? Or do you have a family member who could step in?

I am not sure about filing for bankruptcy - that could cause your DH more stress at the thought of it. Would you be able to sell the business as it is a going concern? A lot of work for you, perhaps, especially when your DH may need you but perhaps best not to rush into something you may regret.

You are such a great support to your family but now you will need to put your DH's and your own needs first because, contrary to what we like to think, we cannot do it all.
And accept any help that is available; contacting The Stroke Association is a very good idea.

It was having a stroke and a heart attack on the same day that made me re evaluate my life \ work balance and I took drastic measures to put it back in line.
Money or status is nothing compared to being alive and I was no longer willing to take that risk.I think the time has come for you to take drastic measures before it's too late.I
Good luck

Make sure you look after yourself in all of this too. Your strength will be needed to help his recovery.

Gilly what an awful thing to happen and everyone is right that you must concentrate on your husband's health first and foremost but .... having been in a similar situation with a business albeit without the added stress of such a serious illness so close to home I know how easy it is to say close it when in reality it's not. The phone still rings and customers still want their goods by the deadline - they may be sympathetic to personal problems but at the end of the day they also have a business to run themselves. What you do in the long term is something else but for now is there someone at work who you would trust to help you with the day to day running - someone who can run the workforce and possibly help with the admin side to ease your burden - someone your husband would trust so that the stress and worry he has is eased. He has had a warning and needs to take it seriously but is likely not to unless everything is in place to ease the worry about work. Do you have family who can help with your grandchildren too - I know you do the school runs - could one of the children's friends mother's do this for you? Thinking of you both - it's so very difficult to be in business and be ill when everyone relies on you