Independent living?!

Sadly Jane that’s fairly standard ‘care’ these days.

My dads poor old neighbour was just like this Jane10 left to “carers” who often didn’t turn up . Very little food in the house and a son who despite living only a short distancec away didn’t seem to care . My dad and I often shopped for her ( rarely got paid) she would bang through the walls all times of the day and night for my dad to say carers hadn’t turned up, or she was cold, hungry etc. Poor soul was virtually blind too . Poor old lady ended her days very lonely.

I had my suspicions about her son too .

Posted at length about it a while back . I think she would have gladly gone into a home but he ( the son) stopped it because he controlled her money . You should have heard him at her funeral too . I remember saying to my dad “I’m not religious by any means, but if there is a god, I’m sure he’s not taking this crap in”

When my time comes I hope DD finds a nice home for me. I'd dread being left like this. I'd rather choose one for myself of course rather than wait for a crisis. Our poor old neighbour.

Part of the problem is that a lot of carers end up in the job because they cant get anything else..that they might be good at/enjoy.They count down the hours while they're there and are not looking forward to the next day.Many have no rapport with sick or old or disabled folk and no genuine wish to help .Perhaps if it was better paid work it might attract people who can properly "care".

Even "proper" carers can only do so much in the time they're allowed. And if there aren't enough carers to go round, because of sickness maybe, people get left out.

Yes, it's an appalling situation all round.

Home helps, paid a decent wage, and trained by the council, and with decent working conditions would be a good idea...
Oh, hang on...

I agree . Carers very underpaid and undervalued too. It can be very hard if someones off work at the last minute . The company has to fill the slot with few spare resources etc. Ending up with late or missed calls .

The situation us much different/harder than it used to be though. My dads neighbour and my own grandma lived at home until they died aged 99 ! That’s only 2 people that I know of.

It's very worrying, more and more of us are reaching the age when we may need some help.

Well my grandma spent her last couple of weeks in a hospice but at home before that iyswim .

Oh Jane10 that is so sad

and the system isn't coping now.

sorry, pressed post before I had finished.

It's a disgrace on society.

The effing "system" is what's to blame.

Misadventure - indeed so; perhaps we should set about re-inventing the wheel, since we know it works well.

OP - you need to contact SS and the agency to complain. SS will probably be paying fo0r it, and need to know they are not getting what they have bought, and the agency need a kick up the rear.

Care at home can work very well indeed IF it is done properly. How often does that happen now I wonder?

One 24 hours live-in carer for my Dad simply decided he had had enough and walked out - fine, if that's how he feels - but did he tell us?....No!

What “system” grannyknot ?

The system that is so good that we all live much longer?
The system where no one seems to care For their own relatives any more?
The system where no one want to pay more tax?
The system that expects the young to pay for our care bills ?
The system where NI ends when you retire no matter how rich you are ?

I could go on .... but would get accused of “going on and on” again.

gillybob I entirely agree with all you say.
We're in Scotland with the so called 'free personal care'! It just doesn't work.

I remember reading some time ago about one poor soul who had actually died when the council transferred to a different care provider and she somehow got missed off various lists. It really doesn't bear thinking about.

It doesn’t work across the border either Jane10 but I don’t know what the solution could be ?

I can’t honestly think of a way forward other than reducing the inheritance tax thresholds quite significantly and/or putting charges on properties for payments after death .

Does anyone else have any better ideas ?

We can’t expect some of our young people to foot the bill for everything via direct and indirect taxation .

Actually most of the points you raise are valid gilly.

the free personal care differs across the Health board regions.I know my late mother had brilliant care when she needed it.I know others from different health board regions who haven't been as lucky

My H who has Alzheimer's was recently in hospital for 2 weeks after a fall and I insisted on a care package before I would have him home.
It took about 5 days to arrange it but I stuck to my guns.
He was very immobile and at 80 I am not physically able to lift him.
We got a six week package from SS it comes to an end on Friday of this week.
The carers have been very good in the limited time they have but the timings were awful.
I cancelled the evening call in the first week as it was 8:30pm, he had been inbed and asleep for an hour and a half by that time.
The morning call was 11am, OK the first couple of weeks but as he improved it was hard to keep him in pyjamas and dressing gown until then.
They were nearly always late and twice I rang at 11:45 to cancel the visit as I coped.
Communication between the carers and the office were terrible. Equipment took weeks to arrive, one still isn't here, too late now.
We are not going on to a private agency as we are coping now he is more mobile and quite frankly I haven't heard anything that fills me with confidence.
I feel so sad and sorry for people on their own. My H has me to stand up for him as I have had to do, particularly during the hospital stay.
It was not a good experience.