The Black Dog Gang

I think putting myself first has never been learned or encouraged it is one thing I need to do to recover I would guess that lots of us in the Black Dog gang are always putting others first as a learned behavior our generation were encouraged to help and be kind which is good but not to the detriment of our own mental health.

People pleasers, plus if you are female a double dose. Time to " please yourself"

Start off with something small.

Wildrose24 I think you should change your username to Superwoman!! I'm a member of the gang too, and am slowly learning to be kind to myself, but have very dark days sometimes. Other people can see if we have a physical ailment, but they don't see what's going on in our heads. Time to do what's right for your own sanity. I'm good at saying it, not so good at following my own advice . Very best wishes.

Thank you so much it is easy to feel alone with the dog. 0n the outside I have a family a job(although I know I will have to rethink too physical for me now) it looks like I could take early retirement and then retrain to do something else am only 56 much reduced pension but we could just manage, people I can have coffee with and interests.On the inside some dark days lots of anxiety and indecisiveness I am sure the fibromyalgia is worse with stress I am trying so hard.I will build a gentler life for me.Feel sorry for my husband at the moment keep having the same conversations know that is due to my anxiety.

Well done folks for discussing and being brave.

How are gang members today?we are alongside each other.

I have dragged myself out to meet somebody and help him out with his course work. It takes me away from my own troubles and out of my own head.

Well done old batty. Felt really bad this morning, didn't want to get up at all, but I did. It's easing off now, but is always bad in the mornings. Is anyone else like that in the morning?

Yes, when I was at my worst some years ago "it" would ease off about 5 pm.

oldbatty, It only ruins most of the day then!!!!! Grrrr!

Hi have been lurking and would like join.
My anxiety is on overload at the moment.
Unfortunately it would be too identifying to say what is causing the anxiety.
Today has been a dark day.
So I gave not acheived anything other than a shower and getting dressed.
I put the washing machine on this morning and forgot to hang it out.
I have sat clutching my mobile all day.
Drinks have been made by a very patient DH.
Who bless him is worried as I am.
Unless I am in control of a situation I am out of control (does that even make sense?).

having a shower and getting dressed is bloody fantastic when you feel terrible.

I agree Cherrytree, having a shower and getting dressed is a major achievement, and I often wonder where the washing is, only to find it still in the machine! Fortunately I can hide the ironing deliberately until I'm feeling good enough to attack it. Or even remember it is there! Every day is an achievement for each and every one of us.

Thank you both
Tomorrow is another day.
We are due to have a weekend break away for a birthday and anniversary treat,
it is bought and paid for.
I wish I could stay at home but that would so unfair on DH as he has planned and organised it.
Need to get myself in gear.

Thankyou for letting me be one of the gang
Hopefully sometime soon I will be able to offer others some words of encouragement

Wishing all the gang a peaceful evening

I suggest you try to go on the break but make yourself a little timetable and factor in down time/recovery time. Also tell your partner how you feel.
If you can get yourself there and have a few minutes that are ok, you have succeeded. Don't stress about leaving the house clean or packing.

Anxiety is like being on a hamster wheel.Hope you feel able to go on the break Cherry Tree if you do take it very gently plenty of rest time.

I am waiting docs to sort out my hyperglacaemia. Meanwhile a couple of close relatives I have shared a remembered story with ,and I have imagined what I have just told them. I looked after A lady with dementia and she would tell me things that I had been with her and her memory was not true. I,m worried that I either have dementia or confusion due to the illness. Any thoughts. 76 years young.

sorry Ellie, I don't follow....you told a story and it seemed real to you but it isnt?

I,m the same?love to go on hols ,but, always anxious before I go. Get tummy upset while away.
I used to have agoraphobia, but due to Setraline I now have an almost normal life. Buses planes hairdressers hospitals are mostly a doddle now.
Thanks to my lovely doc who persuaded me to take the tablets. Good luck.

Yes. I thought we had all met in a car park to walk the walk for breast cancer.

really sorry Ellie, I am not an expert in this field. Was it a one off?
How did you discover it was untrue?

Hopefully some more grans will be along soon to chat.

Could your memory issues be due to an infection or something, do you think, Ellie?

Have made appt with GP. Hope I can tell him what is wrong.

Massive well done Gill. The only way is up. Maybe jot down few notes before you go.

I think, on the whole the GP's are pretty good and know what they are doing. Also although depression is your own private hell, they have seen it thousands of times before.

I think anxiety, depression and so on are one of the major reasons people make docs appointments these days.
I always feel embarrassed going to the doctor about it though.
I worry they may think I'm trying to 'pull a fast one'.