The Black Dog Gang

batty, I can’t see neighbours , eight bungalows in this row, I am on the end, the seven bungalows are to my right, the living room wall is about five foot down from the front door, wall to my right, hedge to my left , at the back the next door neighbour has an eight foot garden fence so I can see up the back or front. Never see the postman or milkman.

Not taking medication, am trying to save to see a CPT therapist, it will take time. Am very disappointed, was expecting a chap from the volenteer Bureau yesterday to advise about Fred, he didn’t come. A workman was coming this morning to finishing the paving - didn’t turn up.

Could you ask a friend /relative to post invites to neighbours and ask them for a cup of tea?

No batty, I have no family here and don’t know who my neighbours are. A note inviting someone to join me for a cup tea would not be acceptable here.

Annie, what about joining something locally, doing some voluntary work (you could ask the Citizens Advice Bureau for leads), or joining the online forum Nextdoor which is locally based but a national organisation, and would let you know what's going on locally, or the church, or an evening/day class, or U3A ...... Any one of those could provide the lead you need. You only need to make friends with one person for a chain of friends and events to be created.

Yep can I be in your gang too please.

Mystical, I have developed agoraphobia so not able yet to do as you suggest, but thank you .

What a big gang we are, all different but all together. I'm feeling alrightish at the moment but am sending lots of love and strength to my fellow gang members. We're here to support one another. ?

Annie, I'm so sorry to hear that. But I strongly recommend you see a hypnotherapist for the agoraphobia. I know people who have been totally cured with it. Good luck.

Thank you Mystical, it isn’t caused by the same as it does for many agoraphobics, I chose to stay in following my beloved daughters suicide last November, then it gradually moved on from I don’t want to go out to I can”t go out . I am saving to pay for a CTB therapist.

CBT is available on the NHS annie - indeed round here is it the only therapy offered by the NHS.

Annie, that is exactly the kind of agoraphobia a hypnotherapist can help you with. I know that because I am a retired hypnotherapist! It's up to you ....

Mystical unicorn - could a hypnotherapist help me with anxiety and depression? I am taking anti-depressants but have an on-going family issue which remains unresolved and is likely to for some time. I have just started CBT but wonder if hypnotherapy would also help? Could you please advise?

My OH (a doc) trained in hypnotherapy and he is about as mainstream and cynical about alternative therapies as you can get! But he really saw results with hypnotherapy.

Luckygirl - did he see results specifically with anxiety and depression?

Nanny23 I suggest you find your local hypnotherapists and see what their specialism is. Ask them lots of questions, including do they do a free fifteen minutes or half an hour so you can talk through your problem briefly and not have to pay full price first. There is no reason why you can't be helped. Good luck.

Not good at the moment, things seem to be crowding in on me. DH has been out today and I just havn't been able to settle to my needlework or a book or anything. Took the dogs out this afternoon, walking usually seems to help, but today just felt I wanted to sit and think. I shall have to give myself a good shake and start a new day tomorrow. I always tell myself everything passes.

I am getting on the bus too.Anxiety and depression on and off since childhood difficult mum who I am sure had mental health problems and was emotionally and occasionally physically abusive to me but not my sister.Dad was there quite passive and I suspect anxious.It has come at times in response to a situation but usually totally out of the blue.Have taken various prescribed medications that have not really worked lots of self help and two courses of CBT currently waiting for the third.Currently walking through treacle and not seeing the colours but trying really hard.Have a lovely family and no real problems I want to be enjoying life again.

Sorry to hear that Wildrose, its a horrible feeling. Perhaps a visit to a good GP and a plan?

milly, don't beat yourself up. If you feel rubbish, you are allowed to feel rubbish.

Nanny23 - yes I believe he did.

millymouge - sitting and thinking is not always a good route to follow. It much depends upon what you are thinking of course. It is worth timing yourself when the gloomy thoughts come and say to yourself "I will give myself 10 minutes of this and then I will write down 3 things that are good about my life."It sometimes helps to make you feel more in control. You are acknowledging the bad bits, but keeping them where they belong.

Wildrose24 - I too am sorry that you are struggling.

Thank you it really helps to know others appreciate how I am feeling.When feeling low it is easy to believe you have somehow failed and are not worth much.I need to be able to turn my thinking round for example a few months ago I changed to part time work . I had breast cancer a few years ago a mastectomy and reconstruction surgeries and my job is quite physical. Post surgery I was diagnosed with fibromyalgia but struggled on full time for a number of years with the physical aspect.Now I am part time I feel that I should have carried on and see it as some sort of failure.I have activities and see people but it does not seem to help.I will pluck up the courage to make an appointment and a plan for recovery.Meanwhile I hope the CBT comes up soon.

Hold on there....you survived cancer,surgery and have ongoing fibromyalgia and low mood.....and you are being critical of yourself for not working full time!!!

You deserve a medal!!! I'm willing to bet you also run a house and look after family sometimes?

Wildrose, after all that you are entitled to feel low! I also had breast surgery for cancer and I know how it affected me, plus I also have fibromyalgia and various other health conditions. It is acceptable for you to feel whatever you feel. Don't beat yourself up. And ban the word "should"! I lost my job totally when I first had fibromyalgia and had to completely rethink my life.
There is a fibromyalgia thread here on Gransnet too.
Sending you a hug. I wouldn't wish fibromyalgia on anyone.

I do run a house and look after my families varying needs.One son over the years has sometimes had significant mental health issues my daughter and her partner are expecting their first baby and have just moved house.My other son and his partner have a young baby.I have a 90 year old dad who I visit daily and my husband has had some anxiety issues.Looking at it I am perhaps being a bit hard on myself.I will ban the word should.I have always done my best to be kind and help others it is hard for me to think of myself first.None of our young people are financially dependent on us so although we need to be careful money is not the worry it once was.They said that the fibromyalgia was triggered by the breast cancer surgery.Will definitely look on the fibromyalgia website.

I think you should banish the word failure from your thoughts.

phew....Wildrose, thats more than enough. Take a deep breathe and start putting yourself first.