Why are men reluctant to seek medical advice when they feel they may have problems developing?

Elegran - yes to the car but he wouldn't even notice dead patches on the grass

though he may be thinking "Not him again!"
Elegran: Thanks for that pat on the back! Don't worry about what my doc. thinks. He's always pleased to see me and my credit card and sends me off to the path. lab. every 6 months for a veritable alphabet soup of blood test acronyms. OAP= no fee. I'm on a warfarin prog. requiring 3 weekly visits, but fortunately I"m still young enough to re-generate more for next time. One thing I'm a coward over is watching the needle go into my arm. I saw it done a long time ago and nearly fainted at the length that went in! That was back in the days when you didn't go on a Friday because the needles were getting quite blunt by then.!
Now, I've got a list of procedures as long as your arm, gall bladder removal, TKRs, pseudo- cyst on the pancreas etc that I could give chapter and verse on, just say the word.
Inspite of all that, my doc (a very friendly Chinese fellow) has promised to "get me through to 100", but I reply "what about quality"?
Anyway that should be enough for now!
Good Luck everyone.

There’s your answer Rufus - your credit card! It’s free over here.....so far! Just heard BiL is to have his gall bladder out next week.

What’s TKRs?

TKR = total knee replacement.

Thanks Lazigirl .

PS can they do a PKR? Partial Knee Replacement.

Talking of men not getting problems looked at. I had two GC staying over last night and when DS came to pick them up he showed me his arm was very swollen right up to and past the elbow. Hot, red and painful to the touch. Had to almost force him to go to A&E.

He’s there now and I still have the GC!

PS can they do a PKR? Partial Knee Replacement
OldMeg; Don't know, but prior to my No.2 TKR he did an arthroscopy, a sort of clean-up, but I felt that was simply giving him another chance to get more funds for his kids' school fees! Did nothing for my knee and we went for a TKR. shortly afterwards, matching the 1st. Both due to osteoarthritis and both excellent results.

Grummpa . I had one of those, quite interesting and watching it on the screen is strangely a distraction from how it is happening!

the best television I've seen this year
Doesn't say much for the rest of the programmes. I've often heard it said that Brit. TV is not what it used to be, but it's probably better than going to hospital to see repeats of your fav. prog. I assume all went well; did you get any souvenir snaps?

Brit TV is alive and well thank you Rufus. There are several good series on at the moment, and as I write we are waiting with bated breath for the last episode of the excellent Bodyguard which is on tonight.

As I stated in an earlier post, I am 74 and very thankfully still fully fit. I have not been in hospital since I was three years old which I can hardly remember.

However, the thought of going into hospital totally destroys me. It's not the pain of an operation or some other treatment that causes that, it is the thought of numbers of people looking at me, examining me, pushing and pulling me about that totally "puts me off". I suppose if you are in enough pain you take no notice of that.

As I stated, I am still working fulltime, but I have wondered if retirement causes men to become more isolated and therefore even more reluctant to seek medical advice without the pier pressure of other men around.

My wife and I did sell the Business in 2013 to retire. However, we returned to "help out" after a few months (don't ask long story) and we are still there. However, in those few months I did experience the loss of not having numbers of people around to chat to each day. Strangely Carol my wife did not experience the same.

At present us "older generation" of men in the office are always joking about the declining years and in that health gets discussed in a solely male environment which I think is important at times.

Just heard BiL is to have his gall bladder out
OldMeg; I wish him all the best; will it be keyhole and are any stones involved from when he had the first signs? They'll take the lot out anyway
Don't tell him this, but my prob. was found during an ultrasound survey following my complaint to the doc. that I couldn't "burp" even though it felt like I needed to. Turned out it was a big gallstone, the size and shape of a medium sized green gherkin. He took the lot out and when I came to, it was sitting in a specimen jar at my bed-side.
I've still got it somewhere amongst my souvenirs. You wouldn't read about it! Awesome.

I think you are right Grandad. It's easier for women after retirement to join groups where they can meet other women and have the opportunity for friendship, chat and sharing. Pity we don't have the Greek style coffee houses, where old men gather for hours at a time chatting and playing backgammon. The Friday night drink in the pub for men seems to have all but died out nowadays, but do think it's important for men to enjoy some "male bonding". Who know whether the Greek chaps discuss their prostates

Women have always had ways of coping with "retirement syndrome" because most of them have had spells of being at home with no companionable chats or stimulating conversations except the loud complaints of a squalling infant. Those "conversations" are usually about being hungry, tired, wet or dirty, and lead to mother obeying the demand and sorting it out. They cure the cabin fever by going out to meet other mothers in the same position (taking the baby and the demands with them)

Most men have escaped that confinement (in both senses of the word) and had company provided as a side-effect of working beside others.

When women retire, they too feel the loss of the easy chats, but they know that they have to go out of the front door and find someone to chat to.

The answer is to pick up again on a hobby that was abandoned under pressure of earning a living, or start a new one. If you look for them, there are opportunities everywhere to engage in leisure activities.

Yes, it is down to be keyhole Rufus but with a warning it might not always be possible depending on something or other...at this point BiL got a bit vague. Think he’d probably switched off to the surgeon’s spiel when I got technical.

He’s suffered ‘agonies’ on and off during the years with gall stones. I think a TKR is on the cards sometime in the future too.

I won’t mention your gherkin ?

Oh yes! Also may I recommend 'Killing Eve'.... sorry I digress from the point of this thread

All good reasons - but in some men it's just a case of "can't be arsed"

There are "Men's sheds" in most towns now, where men gather to use the tools and workbenches or sit like Greeks in the taverna, but drinking tea or coffee.

" . . community spaces for men to connect, converse and create. The activities are often similar to those of garden sheds, but for groups of men to enjoy together. They help reduce loneliness and isolation, but most importantly, they’re fun . . " menssheds.org.uk/

Interactive Map of sheds - Find a shed

In this town there are male choirs, golf club, bowling club, U3A, male church group, fsnily history group, local history group, much where men are members .

Is not going to the doctors a generation thing? My son in law who isn’t and My two sons in law have no problem

Forgot, there is a male gardening group and a male group st the volunteer bureau, they fix things for people, like the Mens Shed you spoke of Elegran . All retired men can’t be Victor Meldrews ?

Who know whether the Greek chaps discuss their prostates smile
Depends on how long they've been sitting there playing backgammon.

How much are we responsible for perpetuating this situation? A lot of the issues stem from the society we live in ........boys shouldn’t cry, demonstrate weakness etc. I think I have been guilty of contributing to this attitude and I must try not to carry on this way with my grandchildren.

I have only a layman's knowledge of psychology, Granddad1943, but I have always assumed, as you do, that the usual male reluctance to go to a doctor, dentist or any other health professional is basically psychological.

I was born in 1951 and in my childhood we were told "big girls don't cry!" once we reached school age, but the boys I played with had been told that "boys don't cry" practically from the day they stopped wearing nappies. In other words when they were somewhere between 18 months and 2!

No doubt, you too remember the long list of things that were "cissy" or only things a mollycoddle did, when we were children. Complaining that something hurt was one of them.

"Give me a child until he is seven; after that you can do what you like with him, but he will never forget his early upbringing" This statement (or one like it) is usually said to have been made by the Jesuits. As far as I know, neither Ignatius himself, nor any other member of the Society of Jesus actually made it, but as far as upbringing and formation of character in young children goes, it is a fairly sound principle.

We may not realise it, but the inner voice we call conscience usually sounds remarkably like one of the women who influenced our early childhood.

This being said, can we really expect those who were told from early childhood not to complain of aches and pains and never to cry tó rush to the doctor at the first sign of something being wrong?

It’s not just them refusing to see a doctor I find baffling, it’s their reluctance to ask for directions from someone when they/we are lost, or their reluctance to ask a shop assistant ‘do you have/do you know’. My hubby has been looking for some of those ‘trainer’ socks now we have moved to Spain as he can’t wear his trainers without socks and I refuse to walk next to him with his trainers and longish black socks and shorts. He said to me today whilst in another shop looking for some ‘I know where I can get them from’, ‘oh, where?’ says I, ‘our local supermarket ‘. Cutting to the chase , he didn’t buy them because he didn’t know what size he took in Spanish! He couldn’t possibly demean himself to ask one of the staff, he would need to research it for himself. In the meantime, he has to wear sandals that he says are not very comfy??

My husband, at 59, was advised by a friend who had just had his prostate removed, to go to his GP to ask for a PSA blood test. My husband did not have any symptoms and appeared to be very fit and well. He went to his GP and said as he was peeing a lot (he wasn't) he would like a PSA test. It was a 10.5 reading. This was followed by an internal examination, then a following biopsy which showed an aggressive tumour 9 on the Gleason scale. Two weeks ago he had his prostate, the surrounding tissue and lymph nodes removed and is making a good recovery although we still have to wait for the results of the biopsies on the lymph nodes. He has been told if he had not taken the initiative to ask for a PSA test, he would have been dead within the next two years. We feel he has been saved by a miracle as without taking his friend's advice and with no symptoms, he would not have asked for that blood test. PLEASE get your males to go for the blood test; I know there is much discussion on whether PSA tests are right but if this saves just one life, it is worth it!