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Why are men reluctant to seek medical advice when they feel they may have problems developing?

(89 Posts)
Elegran Sat 22-Sep-18 14:21:31

A male posted on another thread that there are not enough conversations on subjects to attract men, and suggested that a good thread, if there were to be more male posters, would be "Why are men reluctant to seek medical advise when they feel they may have problems developing?"

He was reluctant to start one himself as he doesn't have much time and fears he would not be able to give enough attention to it. So I am starting off a thread.

I suspect it could be at least partly for the same reason that animals will conceal illness or injury as long as they can - it is a harsh natural world out there and a predator will seize upon the weakest member of a herd if it falters. Also the herd leader, in particular, is also under the eye of potential rivals, who will step in and usurp his place if they see a chance.

It is engrained into the idea of human "masculinity" that they must not show weakness or it will be exploited. Men see themselves as the leader and protector of their "herd", who must always be the strongest element, even when machines and technology mean that physical size and strength are no longer essential.

What do the men on Gransnet feel is the reason for this widespread aversion to admitting that they are not well and getting an appointment with a GP?

Elegran Mon 24-Sep-18 16:16:45

Services experience does seem to inure men to stripping off and being examined. "Bring back conscription!" perhaps, for the sake of the health of half the nation?

Your wife is right about her weight being blamed a lot, though, Neil That seems to be the advice whatever the problem, even from GPs who themselves are hardly sylphlike. I have heard that in fact, being a bit more well-covered can be a boon when you do fall ill, as you have a bit of spare to lose before you get too thin - which is a hazard in itself.

kathyd Mon 24-Sep-18 17:06:30

Rufus - PKRs = partial knee replacements. TKRs = total knee replacements.

Grandad1943 Mon 24-Sep-18 19:20:42

Elegran, I would agree with Rufus that this thread has brought out in its discussions precisely the attitude of many men regarding seeking medical attention when they feel they have something developing. I feel the thread has also has demonstrated that being able to talk to other men regarding medical problems seems to be very important to many of us.

In the above, men in retirement would appear to lose regular contact with other males more readily than women, and that may add to their reluctance to seek out medical attention even when they realise it is required.

I hope the thread will generate further discussion on that problem as I would be the first to admit to having an attitude to my GPs surgery of "I would not wish to be seen dead down there". That coming from someone who has spent the last thirty-three years in industrial safety may sound strange and something I do not understand myself.

Many thanks to forum members who have expressed concern for Steph one our companies Assignment Controllers. I have been working away from the office today, but I have been told that she came into the office this morning "looking awful" which is making many of us think that this may be more than just the start of the menopause.

I believe some were advising her to go to A&E but she managed to obtain an appointment with her GP for 17:30 this evening.

To the forum member who asked what Assignment Controller is/does, I will try to explain that in another post as I have only just arrived home myself.

Elegran Mon 24-Sep-18 19:33:53

I am pleased that the thread did what you were hoping it would. Four of our resident men have contributed, and it seems that not all men are reluctant to consult their GP, which is good news.

Rufus2 Tue 25-Sep-18 09:37:29

Kathyd; Thanks for that, although having "survived" 2xTKRs, both still excellent after several years and one arthroscopy (waste of time), medical staff are always impressed that I can converse in medical acronyms, but PKR,? I know what it means, but what's involved if it's not an arthro.? confused

Rufus2 Tue 25-Sep-18 10:02:06

Elegran; "Bring back conscription" brings back many happy memories of stripping off years and years ago for what was, and maybe still is, called an FFI smile
If anyone has"a bit to spare", or better still "a lot", then a "pseudo cyst on the pancreas" op. would help. I'd love to tell all about it if anyone has the stomach, but it's really nothing to be afraid of; just give me a nod. grin

Anniebach Tue 25-Sep-18 10:06:57

When your dead Grandad1943, you won’t need the surgery so free yourself of the worry to be seen dead there.

Elegran Tue 25-Sep-18 10:09:30

It could be, Rufus, that you are in danger of going to the opposite extreme - thoroughly putting off those who are not keen on discussing their innards instead of encouraging them to make any mention them at all!

Elegran Tue 25-Sep-18 10:12:12

That's true, Annie Those who ignore their symptoms for long enough won't be seen dead at the surgery - they'll be seen dead in the morgue (but their mourning families will be at the surgery for medication to relieve their distress)

Anniebach Tue 25-Sep-18 10:17:19

Do men see themselves as too important to be kept waiting in a surgery? Seems some want to choose day, time of day, why not go private ?

Rufus2 Tue 25-Sep-18 11:16:36

Elegran; Thanks! Just needed to establish a few guidelines. Back in the good old days of B/W TV I couldn't face up to watching anything medical ( I think "Emergency Ward 10" and "Your life in their Hands") were all the go then, but with colour TV I was gone! However, with Vera's help I learned to toughen up and was able to gradually lower my hands from my eyes. Even watched eye operations without blinking! shock
Now I'm battle hardened, but tend to forget some people feel a bit squeamish about certain procedures; as the prog said "Your Life in their Hands" and the only part patients can play is to get into those hands as soon as poss.
I'm available for private consultation if necessary; at no cost! grin

kathyd Tue 25-Sep-18 12:16:09

Rufus as far as I know a PKR consists of only replacing part of the knee. There's a surprise! Only parts that are damaged or worn, e.g. only the damaged part of the cartilage rather than the whole lot.
You're lucky if you haven't problems with your replacements. I've had two and the first one was royally bodged. I reckon a student did it!

nigglynellie Sun 30-Sep-18 18:16:03

My OH first had prostate problems when he was 60. A benign enlargement was diagnosed and corrected. Fast forward 10 years and again problems reared again! This time, after various tests, prostate cancer was diagnosed! The complete removal of the prostate was recommended and duly performed. For five years of regular blood tests all was well till once again cancer reared its head in the bed of the prostate. Two years of watchful (stressful) waiting has culminated in six weeks of daily radiotherapy, which OH finished two weeks ago!! Hopefully this time the 'dragon' has been slain, but we won't know for three months, so more waiting!! Grandad, whatever you may think of my politics, I really would advise you to at least have a blood test as at that will put your mind at rest one way or the other. Even our son has agreed to that - under pressure!!