An Attitude of Gratitude & Depression

oldbatty do you mean me? I was a Neuropsychologist. Now retired. Had to study psychopharmacology. V. interesting. Being retired am now out of date on some modern drugs but stopping taking antidepressants which are SSRIs still applies - you must do it gradually, wean off them.

Thanks Tilly, what an interesting career and an ology to boot.

Daisyboots I'm extremely sorry to hear that your DH has been through the horrors that leave one with PTSD. I have it too, and so entirely sympathise. Without the drug that takes the horrendous pictures and the indescribably fear from bursting through unbidden at the most unexpected times, I would not be able to live a normal life.

Of course there is absolutely no reason for people to have a judgemental attitude to drugs we are given for an illness such as PTSD, Depression or Anxiety, or any of the other kinds of Psychiatric illness, which are as painful and distressing as any non-psychiatric illness, possibly more so. I am very glad to say that today people are much more open and intelligent in their attitude. There was a time, maybe, 40 years ago when one would feel reluctant to say one was suffering from such a disorder, simply because of the ignorance and prejudice that it might be met with. Years ago, I was on the bus on my first trip to The Institute of Psychiatry which is part of the Maudsley Psychiatric Hospital opposite Kings College Hospital on Denmark Hill, I had asked the driver to tell me when to get off. He called out "Stop here for the Hospital" and as I was leaving a woman said, make sure you go to the one over the road, the one this side is for mad people! I simply said, "I'm going to this one, The Maudsley."
P.S. Not that it really matters, but some people commented; My addiction definition came from my lectures from teaching at a uni in 2011 or around that time, so it's almost certainly from the Dictionary of Psychology or something similar. The point is addiction has to be detrimental to the person yet the individual is so driven by the gratification/reward of it that they keep doing it. It has a neurological substrate so is not purely "in the mind".

muffinthemoo. If there were a prize for reply of the year I would give it to you! You are brilliant! I am so glad that your life is good now and long may that last! The drugs today are getting better, so there's a lot of hope for a happier life for people with such horrible and very unfair illnesses that make us feel so unimaginably unhappy and stop us getting on with our lives.
I am deeply moved by the way you write and your phrase; "An internal infernal monologue of self hatred and urges to hurt myself." Is so very heart-felt and heart-rending it should be on every Mental-Health Practitioner's wall. Then to read you say, "The effect of my medication is miraculous. I have a life I never thought I could have, one I had never been able to experience." brought tears to my eyes and made my heart soar. This, of course, is the life that is truly yours, the one you so utterly deserve and the true You, being allowed to be expressed as the drugs unlock the mechanisms that had made the chemistry in your brain become the wrong recipe.
I am so happy to read that you have your life as it is meant to be!
It is even more wonderful that you know the beauty of gratitude! I think it does make something even better when you fully appreciate it and feel grateful for it!
God bless you, you beautiful, wonderful lady!

Thank you, oldbatty!. My ology should be preceded with "nutty"ology, I think!

We had an experience with a young woman, diagnosed bipolar, who had stopped taking lithium. For some reason (don't ask) we were asked to have her to stay with us and help her.
I won't go into details of her complete collapse, eventually she had to return to hospital to restart her drug regime.
But bipolar is another specific type of depression.
And after all that she recovered, and eventually got married TG.

ps thinking back, we were very naive to agree to this, knowing now the high risk of suicide in bipolar people.
But to judge favourably, I don't think the person who asked us knew she had stopped taking lithium.

46 years ago I had severe post natal depression, ended up in hospital. No one spoke of PND, when I was discharged I was told ‘ no more babies’, I was devasted , I thought they meant I wasn’t fit to be a mother and I was besotted with my babies. My mother who was such a caring person said to me
‘ if you ever end up there again it will kill me’ . We were living in a police house, whilst I was in hospital we were moved to another town, it was much later that I found out we were moved to save me the embarrassment of facing our neighbours! Thank God we are moving on, still a way to go though.

Dear me, Annie what a sad state of affairs. I had terrible PND 25 years ago. People can be so cruel.

Annie and others, yes, things have moved on but not everyone is understanding. I have one person in mind who has been particularly nasty about me and my illness, someone who chooses to blame me for it despite having a life long illness themselves, not a mental health one but one they can't control without medication.

I felt so stupid, I thought I was in hospital because of serious weight loss

Nonnie, that person is probably damaged themselves. A so called friend of mine said within earshot " What's she got to be depressed about".

Two things:
- the advice about tailing off anti-depressants is sound. I took a tiny dose of a tricyclic for many years as migrainee prevention, and then went off it suddenly due to having surgery. Unbeknownst to me my brain had clearly got used to the drug because about 2 weeks later I suffered a very severe depression and was very ill for many months. The dose had to be tripled to get me back on track, and I am still taking it. (I would try reducing it now, but my current home circumstances mean this would not be a wise time to do this.)
- when I became so ill I made up my mind that I would not be coy about the diagnosis but would be entirely open and honest about it. Mind you to begin with there would have been no disguising it, even if I had wished to! I had 100% support and no adverse comments from anyone. It is nothing to be ashamed of and I really do think that things have moved on now - thank goodness.

I would assume an attitude of gratitude is essential to properly feeling better, and maintaining the wellness.

Lucky, how do you know the depression was linked to stopping the meds?

Because I was told that this was the cause.

Luckygirl I have it foe migraine too (said earlier). If you think you want to stop, have you thought of having a lower dose? It's just that if it keeps the migraines away.....
So sorry to hear you had such a bad rebound depression. It's really horrible. Good for you for talking about it. The more people talk the better.

It's very moving to hear how many of us have mental sufferings. It's uplifting too to hear how people cope with it and won't let any old fashioned prejudices bother them. Times are so much more sensible now Thank God.

I heard on the news that 1 in 8 children have a clinical mental disorder! Isn't that terribly sad? I find it so hard to hear of children having to suffer this way.

You must be very special people! Bipolar is a bit different from other types of depression. With medication - often lithium - people are ok but sadly it has side effects and people do get fed up with these.

To stop taking the lithium could give rise to a very serious disturbance. I am not surprised she was hospitalised. Poor girl. Poor you! But it sounds as if you managed very well. I'm so glad she recovered.

Fennel. I didn't put your name on the above! sorry!

Nonnie So sorry to hear that Nonnie. Some people just are horrible. Despite knowing that they are not worth worrying about, have problems etc. I am not very good at letting it flow over me, so I know if I say she isn't worth worrying about, it may not really help. Sometimes I wish I had a thicker skin! Do your best to ignore her. She is in a tiny minority, just look at all your friends here! Also she is simply completely wrong! Don't discuss it with her, just ignore her!
Lots of love, T

Anniebach You poor dear lady! Sounds like you had the worst kind. It's a terrible illness. How wonderful that you can tell everyone because it really moves things forward, every time each one of us speaks up, I believe progress makes another step forward.

You are right - we haven't quite got there....

I do hope your life is filled with blessings.

Thanks for the support. I wish I could simply ignore her but unfortunately I cannot as she has control over an important part of my life. There is no way she would listen to anyone who has a different opinion to her about anything, she is never wrong and has never been known to apologise even when proved to be in the wrong.

So many of us suffering, it can be a very lonely illness.

Tillybelle, we must speak out to move forward to the time when mental health is seen as equal to physical health and when all mental health illnesses are not put under one large umbrella. Diabetes is not under the same umbrella as a broken leg. I have developed agoraphobia , if asked if I can go somewhere it would be much easier to say ‘sorry no, I have hurt my leg and walking is difficult, I say ‘ sorry no, I have agoraphobia ‘ .

Any mention on here of antidepressants being addictive in that a number of people suffer extremely bad symptoms when they try to come off them, is never well received on threads such as these.

Of course if any such thoughts are the result of research published in the Daily Mail, then it is automatically dismissed out of hand.

1. I question the motives of Sarah Vine in writing the article.

2. The research was done by someone with a vested interest in being anti medication.

3. The only people qualified to give advice are doctors.

The jury is still out on whether they're addictive.
That's all.